My 7wk old won't nap! What am I doing wrong?

[Gooders]

My lo either doesn't nap at all, he screams and cries or if he does go to sleep it is only for 20-30 mins. He is colicky and refluxy. We are now going 4 hrs between feeds but he just won't nap. At night time he will go to sleep quite nicely but waking twice at night.

[IzzyD's mom]

I am no expert but I just wanted to offer some HUGS and to say given that your LO is only 7 weeks only there is a good chance you are doing nothing wrong

Just things that might matter....

Do you breastfeed or formula feed? Is there a reason you are doing 4 hour feeds?
- at 7 weeks many babies are still on a 3 hour feed schedule with cluster/ dream feeds. Is there a possibility that he is hungry?

If he does nap how does he fall asleep? on you? lying down in a crib? with motion?
Does he have a pacifier/ is he swaddled? Is he okay upright but not lying down?
- I know my DS settled much easier with a paci and swaddle (later dealing with props was not so fun but I think with some reflux issues the sucking can help)
- I havent dealt with reflux but there is some great info on this site... just an example http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=175920.0

Hopefully you can narrow down what is bugging him but like I said he is only 7 weeks old so everything can be up in the air and still be normal

Good Luck

[Gooders]

Do you breastfeed or formula feed? We combo Feed, his lunch time feed and df is a formula, the rest are breast.

 Is there a reason you are doing 4 hour feeds? As in the BW book it says he should be able to go this long now and if he does eventually go to sleep (not in his cot) then he will actually go this long.
 
If he does nap how does he fall asleep? on you? lying down in a crib? with motion? He will not sleep in his cot or moses basket, he will only sleep in the pram, car seat or on me,

Does he have a pacifier/ is he swaddled? He has a dummy but does not like being swaddled at all. He gets so angry!

Is he okay upright but not lying down?  He just wont settle either way.

He had a feed at 10.30am and A time from 11.10 to 12pm and has just fought and fought going to sleep, he falls asleep on me in a dark room doing shh pat but when i put him down 2 mins later he is screaming. So not only has he not had a sleep now but I have been in bits and am exhausted with it all!

[IzzyD's mom]

HUGS - my personal mantra for days like that is 'this too shall pass' - things will get better, having a young baby is tough. Do you have anyone who can take him for a walk for an hour just to give you a little time to relax? If he will sleep well on the move dont be afraid to get out of the house for  a walk everyday. If it gets him a decent nap and you the chance to get some fresh air then it will be good for both of you.

I think generally babies are on a 3 hour feed pattern until around 4 months. Here is a link to some EASY routines... http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=164027.0 that might help

Also when counting A time you have to count all the time they are awake so 1hr 30 mins may be a little long for him. How long are his A times (including feed times) normally? He may be OT.

I would maybe give the swaddle another shot- i know my DD seemed to hate it but her arms were way too wild for her to sleep without being wrapped.

If he has reflux and prefers to sleep on an incline have you tried lifting one side of his crib/ moses basket slightly? This can help keep the contents of his tummy down.

How is he with his feeds? Does he get gassy often? 

How is he generally? would you rate him as spirited/ touchy/ textbook??

[Gooders]

His cot is raised and so is the moses basket. I will give the swaddle another go. When not in pain with colic he is quite a smiler, but that is very rare as currently all he does is scream. He is a fast eater and takes in alot of gas hence why he is on combination feed. I have jsut tried to feed him his lunch time bottle and he only took half so I gave him a BF too.

I feel like I am loosing all hope with EASY. I am sure I read that above 8lb then they should do 4 hrs. I am presonally really strugglying. My husband has just had to wrap up his business and go long distance driving due to the recessio so I am at home all day with LO, alone. I do go out most afternoons to go to the stables to see my horses, but I am starting to lack motivation to do that now!

Maybe LO is over tierd, is there a list of cues anywhere that I could read as apart from a yawn I wouldnt know ewhat else to look for?

[IzzyD's mom]

My two were 9lb14 and 9lb8 born and still ddnt got for 4 hours until they were 4 months. I would try him with 3 hour feeds and maybe that will give you a more relaxed feeding time. Also do you feel like you have a fast let down? Do you often still feel full after a feed?

As for feeling overwhelmed- that is ( for most mere mortals) completely normal! Being a mum is far and away the hardest thing I have ever done. There is just no 'off' time! If there is someone who can help you out please ask. I live 1000s of miles away from my family but when i have been visiting that extra help made such a big difference! I dont even mean that they have to take the baby off your hands- just someone to come and have a coffee and a chat during the day can help put some things in perspective or at least take your mind of naps and whatnot.

Babies have all kinds of tired cues- often they will rub at their eyes or ears, but generally with mine they would just start to get cranky. Sticking with easy should make it easer ti figure what s a hungry cry or a sleepy i've had enough cry.

Have you seen a dr about the reflux?

Hope you had a better day

[Shiv52]

Agree with 3 hour feeds especially when majority of feeds are BFs. At least until 14-16 weeks.

Hugs for how hard things are.  If reflux is at play and not under control it is very very hard to stick to EAS or work on naps etc.  Will he sleep in a sling or buggy? What does the doctor say about reflux?

[Gooders]

His reflux is trying to be controlled by meds. I haven't got anyone local who can help as they all work or have their own children, but my husband helps out alot when he gets home from work at 7pm. LO sleeps in the pram and carrier, but is that not AP? I'm trying to follow the BW as close as possible.

[IzzyD's mom]

it is more APOP- accidental parenting on purpose. When your LO is in pain which is the case with reflux then sleep training and routines have to take a back seat to that. If he is having a good day and the meds are working then use this time to try and implement some good habits but if he is uncomfortable and in pain then your main aim is to keep him as well rested and comfortable as possible. Also BW stresses the individuality of each baby so even though you are following what a LO your baby's age SHOULD do this wont necessarily be perfect for your LO. At the moment you are still in the process of getting to know him and his personality but as time goes on you will be able to more easily adapt your routine into something that fits you both.
I would try with the more frequent feeds, shorter A times and if you are having no luck with naps and your LO is OT and super cranky then pop him a stroller and go for a walk.
 

[Shiv52]

Agree with pp.  Tracy always said EASY and sleep training are not always appropriate if a LO is in pain.  First address the causes of the pain, then sleep training.

What meds is he on?   

Regardless of reflux, 7 weeks is still so little and your LO is getting used to the world and you are getting to know him.  At such a young age it is better for LO to get sleep and a lot of mums aim for 1 nap a day in the crib, more if a LO is settled but if you are having a rough time with naps it is ok APOP a nap in the sling or stroller as it is better for him to be rested and not get more and more OT.

{{{hugs}}}]

[Gooders]

He is on Donpenidone and ranitadine. I am half wondering whether he is too hungry! I expressed 2 hrs after his last feed last night and I only managed 2oz. He has also started waking alot more through the night. He used to sleep  well and o ly wake at 3am and 6am but now waking at 2,4 and 6 despite having a dream feed at 10.30pm.

Please someone tell me what I am doing wrong?!? 

[Shiv52]

DO you think maybe he's hit a growth spurt? 

Try and not worry about expressing.  I couldn't express more than a couple of oz ever at a time but never had supply issues.  Pumping only gives you an indication of what you can pump, not what baby is getting. 

Is he taking full feeds when he's waking?  Or just taking a little bit and going back to sleep?  My LO was still waking 2/3 times a night at 7 weeks and hit a pretty big growth spurt at 8, 12 and 16 weeks.

Please someone tell me what I am doing wrong?!?

Nothing hun, you are doing nothing wrong.  You are doing great xx

[Gooders]

He always takes full feeds and barely falls asleep eating anymore. Some weeks he puts on near 2 lbs! Could he be US... What type of A should I be doing with him?  He goes tierd, I  can pick up on that, he rubs his eyes, yawns then screams for ages... but then falls asleep in  my arms, nut put him down and he screams again!

[Shiv52]

Will he stay asleep if you hold him? 

The screaming once you start to get him to sleep sounds OT to me.  At 7 weeks DD2 was only doing 40-45 minutes of A time, and if i missed that window she was a mess and so hard to settle to sleep. 

The crying once you set him down could be the reflux bothering him.   Does he settle if you pick him back up.

He always takes full feeds and barely falls asleep eating anymore.

If he's taking full feeds I'd say he's definately hungry.  I think you've hit the 8 week growth spurt a little early.  Do you cluster feed in the evenings?  Do you do a DF? 

[Gooders]

I don't cluster feed and normally df but since I started that he has started waking up more. He screams as he is going to sleep and when he crows and I pick him back up he will eventually go back to sleep after alot of shh patting.  He will stay asleep if I do hold him, but I need to so other things too. I'm strugglying so much. He was  2 wkd late so would that be part of the reason why he is having an early growing spurt?