Need help with 4yo - no weight gain, won't eat anything

[cgmom]

HI, not sure this is the right forum for this..but here it comes.

Our 4yo daughter has always been tiny for her age, a fussy eater, in the lowest 1 percentile of the chart. BUt up to about 2.5y of age, her height and weight gain were cosistent. THe past few years her eating has gotten worse and worse. We're at a point where she will drink 100ml youghurt in the morning, but is simply not able to eat anythign else for breakfast. She will then eat 1 or 1.5 sandwiches for lunch, a few biscuits at 3pm, then REALLY struggle for dinner, with a few spoons of verg (potato/beans, etc) and a bit of meat (mostly procesed, as she won't touch anything else). THen another 150-200ml strawberry milk. If i try count her calories, i'd guess its max 700-800/day, and that by using butter in her food instead of the lower fat alternatives.

No snacks, only likes savoury but won't really ask for it. Doesn't like choc, sweets AT ALL. Will eat plain cake, icecream, a few fruits.

We are really lost: we spend 45min - 1hr on her dinner, with stories etc. Plenty APOP, just to get her to eat something. I know we are not consistent, have tried the approach of letting her choose when she's finished eating, but then her intake goes ever more down, and we panic she's not even gettign the little she was before.

Is anyone else in a similar situation? Is there a "magic" diet we coudl follow? I realise consistency is essential, but we feel like we don't knwo what's best. Also petrified of causing eating disorders in the long run..

thanks

[koe2moe]

i'm so sorry to hear about your struggle and worries.  Sorry I have no experience and advice, just want to offer some hugs and hopefully bumping you up!  Koe xx

[Mom to M&M]

Is she filling up on too much milk or juice? Does she have any food intolerances?

[deb]

You can add other fats and oils to her diet as well. Since she likes savory, will she try guacamole? If you make your own you can season to taste, and you can even eat an avocado out of the skin if you cut it in half. (Bonus: stick toothpicks into the big seed when you take it out and stick an end in water - it might grow! Coconut oil is SUPER healthy, and you can also add flaxseed oil or olive oil; flaxseed oil especially on low heat or room temp like dressing - you can sneak them both into guacamole. We do most of our cooking in coconut oil, sometimes bacon fat. (The girls ask for seconds and thirds if I cook up frozen green beans or okra in bacon fat! Coconut oil works well also if you don't do pork, as coconut oil is very very stable for high-heat cooking.

We also add some Nordic Naturals fish oil to yogurt (and sometimes to yogurt smoothies) which adds more good fat and is awesome for brain development. Comes in fruit flavors - I recommend orange, lemon, and strawberry - there's also peach and unflavored but my kids aren't as fond of them. A bit pricey, but they chow down on the stuff and will even take it out of a spoon.

For potatoes, if she'll take butter AND sour cream, I'd lay it on as thick as she'll let you. Will she dip fruit in full-fat yogurt or sour cream? You can even add a bit of sweetener to the sour cream for a fruit dip to make it more palatable. My kids now eat sour cream with a spoon. (I make my own sour cream the way I make yogurt.)

For the sandwich spread, consider making your own mayonnaise. It's not that hard with a food processor, and you can use good healthy fats and oils instead of the regular veg oil that isn't as good. There are recipes online - I think Alton Brown has a clip of mayo making on YouTube....OK, Gordon Ramsey's video is only 2 minutes long. Gordon Ramsay - Homemade Mayonnaise. Alton Brown's is more like 10-1/2! Good Eats S4E10P1: Mayo Clinic. Olive oil in mayo can have a strong flavor, so you can try sesame oil or some of each, or add in some coconut oil (have to warm it past 76F first to make it liquid) for the mayo. I also found a recipe this morning that uses ghee in mayo for an awesome buttery flavor.

HTH!

[~*Nicole*~]

Also, some kids are more grazers than sit down meal eaters. Even if she isn't always asking for snacks as she may be "busy" or preoccupied etc. If you choose some healthy yet higher calorie snacks to just pop out onto the counter or coffee table or take on a ride in the car, etc. You may find she nibbles here and there and ends up taking in more over the course of a day than she otherwise would if you sit down for a proper meal.

Just a thought.

Does she like nuts? Cheese? You can put these out as snacks pretty easily.

[Mom to M&M]

Along the lines Nicole said, I have a friend who swears by the muffin tin idea. She takes a muffin tray and fills the different compartments with snacks that can stay out a bit - nuts, fruit, cheese, etc. And that leaves that on her kids play table in the family. Her LOs (she has 3 year old twins) stop and eat here and there while playing - the whole tray often gets emptied! Hasn't worked for us with DS but he may just be too young yet.

[greenteamomma]

Great ideas ladies..just following along.

One thing that works for us is anytime you are in the car to give a snack.  My DS1 will eat more snack sometimes.  I just give him WW crackers, cheese, dried fruit etc that aren't too messy. 

[~*Nicole*~]

We do a lot of car snacks as well!

[Mom to M&M]

We do to. I make breakfast cookies with full fat ricotta and other goodies and sometimes my kiddos will eat one of those or a piece of homemade granola in the car. Sometimes if DS hasn't had a good breakfast and we're going to be in the stroller that morning he'll end up eating a piece of challah french toast (I add brown sugar to the batter so it's not messy/no syrup) while we walk!

[Mum to Ella Rose]

Has anything medical been ruled out?

[clazzat]

Have you checked her on her growth curve recently?  They do slow down massively between 2 and 4, so it might just be that to follow her curve she doesn't need as much as she used to eat.

The other thing to bear in mind is that she won't starve herself, so keep trying to offer things (and adding lots of good fats is a really good idea) and make every meal/snack time as low-pressure and low-stress as possible.

[cgmom]

THanks sooo much, ladies.

Car snacks do tend to work for us, but she goes to pre-school and is only back home at 5pm. I do believe exhaustion plays a role as well, by the time she's home i suspect she's just too tired to sit and eat. TV snack do work as well, but i haven't ever done dinner in front of the TV. LIke i said I'm torn between having her eat at any cost, and avoiding un-healthy behaviuour like that.

She's not filling up on anything, sometime she comes hoem with her juice only half emptied.

She's not been checked up for anythign specific, this will have to be the next step. She's always been v small and not a great eater, but managed to stay on the growth chart.

All the "healthy eating" sites talk about eating veg and fruit, is that essential, or is it more important ot get her to put on weight, so fatty foods? Anyone can point to any good reading on the topic?

Mash potatoes with sour cream and butter is her favourite..so will do more of that.

[cgmom]

yes, she's just been weighed, she is spot on her curve in height (99cm - v small but still on the same curve) but waaay below in weight - 12kg.

So where does one buy coconut oil and the other heathly fats, in a health shop?

[clazzat]

Fruit and veg is pretty important, so you want to do what you can to get both the fats and the fruit and veg into her.  If she loves mash with sour cream and butter, you could try other mashed vegetables - sweet potatoes, carrots, squash, swede.  If you keep trying, you might hit on something she loves.

[cgmom]

LOL when i say "loves" mash, i mean she will try it and and even eat some of it. Typical quantity would be between 50-100g veg, and 1 or 2 fish fingers/chicken nuggets. I try mix a differnet veg in the mash every day, so likeyou say, as long as the other veg is not too strong tasting, she'll get a bit of other veg as well. But its sooo little.

any meat/protein ideas? Egg works occasionally, but prefers the white. Otherwise, seems impossible to get away from teh processed stuff, and i work fulltime, and am exhausted of trying a zillion home recipes that she will just not touch.