Author Topic: How do you handle dessert?  (Read 1694 times)

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Offline Love, laughter, & PJs

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How do you handle dessert?
« on: May 05, 2011, 03:35:11 am »
This isn't something we've really dealt with much since we don't do dessert, really.  (At least we don't do it for Austin! ::))  He gets treats sometimes but they're not really associated with meals. 

Tonight we got take out from a place with a nice bakery and Austin went with DH to get the food.  They picked out a couple of cookies to take home.  I think this was when Austin learned the word cookie!  :)  He was all excited about cookies when he got home.  ::)  We sat down for dinner and he was pretty rapidly playing with his food, throwing food to the dog, and other such signs that generally end a meal.  I said dinner would be over if he kept throwing food and not eating nicely and he threw some more food.  I wanted to just end the meal and forgo dessert but DH felt like we'd talked about the cookies so much that we couldn't not give him some.  At this point, Austin is screaming about the cookies since I've said dinner is going to be over.  So then I say that he has to eat some more of his dinner to have cookies (I don't like the idea of making them eat when they're not hungry but they can't just eat cookies and not dinner so ???).  This is met with more screaming.  I try to get down and talk to him about eating more healthy food before cookies.  More screaming.  Baby starts screaming.  DH and I look at each other with the 'what the hell are we doing' face.  Then we give Austin cookies.  :P  Screaming promptly stops, of course.  Not our proudest moment.

Aside from sticking with my original plan, which was that we just don't do dessert, how do you handle dessert?  Especially when they don't eat or act up at dinner?  Should I have just dealt with the screaming and said no cookies even though DH got him all psyched up about them?
*Kate*



Offline MasynSpencerElliotte

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Re: How do you handle dessert?
« Reply #1 on: May 05, 2011, 05:01:09 am »
For me, I wouldn't make dessert contingent on eating dinner...but we only do dessert if we are at my parents, and mostly that is all they end up eating!  I just read something in one of my parenting mags that talks about making dessert a while after dinner so they don't associate that they must eat to "earn" dessert. 

Oh, and the rare times I might have a treat for the kids, I try to make sure they don't know about it so that I can pull it out after they have eaten at least part of their supper, but not that easy to do since Austin helped pick them out! 
Heidi




Offline Katet

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Re: How do you handle dessert?
« Reply #2 on: May 05, 2011, 06:32:28 am »
He is still very young to understand an association between a treat food & a normal food, he would just see it as food he wants to eat & can't understand why you want him to eat other food instead.

I think there are many ways you could get around it & I think it really comes down to what sits best with you & what works with him. Have a 'dessert' night & if he just eats dessert, then so be it make sure the rest of the day he eats well. For my 2 (from about 2yo) they had "2 sugar foods" they could have, it was things like flavoured milk, jam on a sandwich, cake, icecream, juice, desserts etc. We had a chart on the fridge & listed when they had a sugar food & that was it for the day when they had had their 2.

For me the most important thing was to realise that eating 'rules' evolve over time & sometimes a less than perfect meal is ok, but it isn't ok if it happens every day or even every week.
dc1 July 03, dc2 May 05

Offline Mom to M&M

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Re: How do you handle dessert?
« Reply #3 on: May 05, 2011, 11:22:05 am »
Most nights we have "dessert" but only sometimes is it something like a cookie or ice cream. Many nights DD's dessert is cereal with milk (she loves cereal). We do tell her that if she is hungry for dessert she needs to eat some dinner but we don't make her clean her plate or finish a certain number of bites. Works for us. DS doesn't really get dessert yet but we do offer a healthy bedtime snack.

Now when we go to our favorite diner (usually once a week) they have really yummy small sugar cookies with sprinkles at the front counter/cashier. Rather than fight with the kids or hear them whine I DO allow them to have one cookie each before/with breakfast AND one cookie after. DD usually chooses NOT to have one before (she's on a healthy kick) DS usually has half of one before/with breakfast and sometimes one after.
Karen: Proud Mama to Marisa (8-11-05) and Matthew (6-5-09) and happily married to my best friend and love of my life since 10-13-01

Offline Love, laughter, & PJs

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Re: How do you handle dessert?
« Reply #4 on: May 05, 2011, 13:46:52 pm »
Thanks, ladies.  I think I'll try to just stick with our no dessert (or treats remote from meals) but when we do have a night like last night I'll just let it go and he can eat cookies instead of dinner once in a while.  ;)
*Kate*



Offline Jenn+Ethan+Emily

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Re: How do you handle dessert?
« Reply #5 on: May 05, 2011, 14:41:53 pm »
We basically just never bring dessert up and then if he eats a good meal and we want to have something for dessert, we bring it out then. That way he still had a nutritious meal before dessert and then he is very happily surprised with dessert!



Offline We Three

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Re: How do you handle dessert?
« Reply #6 on: May 05, 2011, 15:00:42 pm »
We call foods like that "sometimes food"....because it's somewthing we don't have all the time.  I try to avoid the use of words like "treats" or "special", because IMO those words attach an emotion to a food, and that is not something I want to do. 

 What works great for us is that dessert is berries with whipped cream or a muffin. Even if she has ice cream we'll put blueberries on top or raspberries, so there is still some good stuff and some fiber in there too! I never tell her she has to finish something, but if she asks about dessert, I will sometimes say "Sure, hon, after dinner."  Not having her think she has to finish her whole dinner, but letting her know there is a time for dessert. I am fortunate that she likes "food"....! 

 Totally agree with kate that at his age, he doesn't understand why he "can't" have one thing until he has another thing...to him it's just as simple as "I want to eat this, why aren't you letting me?"

 I think you did what you needed to do in the moment, and I would have done the same thing!! Sounds like you had a real-life Calgon commercial happening there for a minute!!   ;)  That was a tough situation for Austin, since he saw the cookies and picked them out with Daddy...they were probably all he could think about!!  Can't blame him there...!!
 We often go to this adorable farm market where they have dd's favorite cookies....she eats one on the spot! 

Offline Love, laughter, & PJs

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Re: How do you handle dessert?
« Reply #7 on: May 05, 2011, 18:45:38 pm »
I think you did what you needed to do in the moment, and I would have done the same thing!!

Thanks, Anne.  I like the idea of calling it 'sometimes food' since that's what it is around here anyhow!
*Kate*



Offline 15milner

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Re: How do you handle dessert?
« Reply #8 on: May 05, 2011, 19:06:18 pm »
dessert (pudding to the boys) is usually either fruit or yoghurt - if I can be bothered - rice pudding / ground rice. 

Rarely is it a 'proper' dessert - those are usually saved for weekend if I cook - pies / crumbles / trifle / cooked fruit puddings etc.

'treat' puddings are rare.

Offline Lolly

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Re: How do you handle dessert?
« Reply #9 on: May 05, 2011, 19:20:46 pm »
We do the same as Alex, yoghurt and fruit for "pudding". DS will eat a bit more dinner so he can have yoghurt or fruit, DD is too young for that but if she isn't going to eat dinner I would rather she have some yoghurt than nothing ::). We do treat puddings at weekends sometimes, or they can have an ice lolly for pudding sometimes (we have mini milks which aren't too bad sugar wise and have 240mg of calcium per lolly!).

I usually offer fruit or yoghurt after they have eaten, sometimes DS doesn't want anything - DD very rarely refuses.

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Offline Tweakster

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Re: How do you handle dessert?
« Reply #10 on: May 11, 2011, 00:10:45 am »
We do what Jenn does.  He usually gets fruit after dinner but he's rarely hungry enough to eat it.  Once in a while I'll pull out a biscuit but the more I do that, the more I find that when he's actually hungry he'll start calling out for 'biscuit' or 'choc-lat please mommy' - it's just teaching him that these foods exist and he is learning to enjoy them lol  It's the beginning of the end!
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Offline Love, laughter, & PJs

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Re: How do you handle dessert?
« Reply #11 on: May 11, 2011, 00:36:23 am »
it's just teaching him that these foods exist and he is learning to enjoy them lol

That's exactly what I've managed to avoid until now!  :D
*Kate*