Author Topic: I'm really struggling with feeding my child  (Read 1817 times)

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Offline lchuynh

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I'm really struggling with feeding my child
« on: May 11, 2011, 10:33:39 am »
Firstly he is allergic to milk, nuts and wheat (the last two is 1+ and milk is 2+). Secondly he is little and everyone who sees him makes a comment.

He is at daycare 4 days a week and they tell me he usually eats very well there. I feel awful that I send my child to daycare without having eaten anything substantial. I've tried toast, cereal and oatmeal but he isn't interested. He will usually have a bit of neonate upon waking (about 50ml) and some fruit (blueberries and banana are back to being his favs right now).

When he comes home in the evening he is hungry, so I basically have to prepare a really quick meal for him to have at 5:30pm. He asks for crackers to snack on and I give these to him, but he stands at the kitchen and cries for his dinner when he sees me preparing it. He is literally climbing in to his highchair when I tell him it is ready, but a lot of times he will eat a few mouthfuls and then starts spitting out every spoonful that goes in. Sometimes he will eat everything. If I let him down and he runs around I can usually get spoonfuls in here and there. The problem though is that it is never consistent what he will and won't eat. On days where he eats everything I will offer the same food on another day and he will refuse to eat it.

On days when he is not at daycare it is basically continuous snack time. He can sign and say a few food words, so that's what he consumes all day long; crackers, bananas, apple, raisins, milk, water. I offer him other foods, but he likes to stick with his staples.

I guess what I'm asking in my long winded way is:
1) is fruit good enough for breakfast?
2) should I refuse snacks (and only offer at set snack times) so he eat his lunch and dinner?
3) when I let him off his highchair after only eating a few spoonfuls should mealtime be finished at this point instead of letting him run around while I give him his dinner?
4) how in the world am I supposed to give him a nutritious and balanced diet? I envisaged doing lots of "sneaky chef" cooking but he doesn't even want to eat anything I make!

I did BLW for a while but he played rather than ate the food, and I don't have the energy to clean up after every meal. I also can't afford for him not to eat; my parents already think I starve my child bc I'm not constantly force feeding him.

I appreciate you reading this far, and look forward to any advice.
~Lien~
My personal blog about our adventures in the wilderness of parenthood - http://www.allnewadventures.com


Offline Love, laughter, & PJs

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Re: I'm really struggling with feeding my child
« Reply #1 on: May 11, 2011, 23:48:23 pm »
Hi Lien!

We have a moving truck coming tomorrow so I have a bunch to do but couldn't read and not post.  Hugs to you!!  This sounds really tough.

Here are my quick thoughts, for what they're worth.  Austin basically eats fruit for breakfast, although his is in the form of a smoothie.  Might DS do that?  We put greek yogurt in ours for protein but maybe you could do a soy yogurt?  Not sure how that would go but maybe he would like drinking his breakfast?  Austin likes to help make his smoothie and make the blender whir, etc, so perhaps that would help also?  Oh and I toss in some spinach, too, which he doesn't mind and some days it's his only veg. ::)

I hear you on the snacking.  If he'll eat snacks, though, can you basically give him food for snacks that you want him eating for lunch/dinner but right now he's not?  Like could you get some peanut butter (or your equivalent there I know PB isn't big in NZ! ::)) on those crackers to up the calories if he's going to snack on them?  OR give him some peas for snack?  Or even pieces of chicken or whatever you do for protein?  I'm just thinking that maybe you can use snacktime to your advantage for a while until he's not boycotting meals so much.

How long has it been since you tried BLW?  I'm wondering if he's protesting meals because he wants more control and wants to do it himself.  Might be worth trying again if you can stand it.

But I do think the bottom line is that toddlers can be picky!  I would keep trying the things he likes (or liked yesterday :P) and offer new things multiple times, even if he doesn't eat them at all.  That's what we're doing and occasionally he eats something new. 

Is his doctor concerned about his weight gain?  MY other thought is that if it's not really an issue, even if people feel like commenting to you about it (I honestly detest people sometimes!) that I would try your best not to worry too much about it overall.  There are days when Austin doesn't eat.  Oh well.  I wish he would but he's doing fine so I just offer him food and move on if he doesn't eat it. 

Oh and I would not let him run around and eat dinner but that's just me.  At our house if he expresses that he's done when he's in his chair, the meal is over.   If he hasn't had much I'll usually give him a chance to get back in the chair and eat more but I definitely don't feed him as he's running around.

Ok, I hope some of that rambling is helpful and more hugs!!
*Kate*



Offline malenka

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Re: I'm really struggling with feeding my child
« Reply #2 on: May 12, 2011, 00:34:43 am »
We've been having trouble with our DS too. Although he's not allergic to milk, he absolutely refuses to ingest any milk or milk products. He was doing similar things to your LO and was dropping further and further on the growth charts until he was down to the 7th percentile :(

In the past month, he gained 2 kg (2.2 lbs)! Here's what we did:

1) Changed what he was eating for breakfast. Before, he was eating mostly fruit and it wasn't enough calories. Imagine if you just ate an apple for a meal, wouldn't you be starving a short while later? DS was, so he was snacking and then avoiding eating at meals. We now offer him waffles for breakfast or meat (ham, pieces of chicken, even bacon!) and then he gets his fruit.

2) We cut down on the snacking. DS was filling up on snacks and then not eating enough at meals. He now gets 3 snacks a day: morning, afternoon, before bed (this last snack is a great way to pack in some extra calories in the day). We try to make his snacks a little heartier - muffins, dried fruit (more calories than regular fruit), etc.

3) At mealtimes, I noticed that sometimes when he said he was done and wanted out of his chair, he was actually thirsty. I find that offering him sips of his drink (rice milk) during his meal helps him eat more. Also, sometimes when he starts saying he's done, he's just tired/frustrated of feeding himself so I take over.

4) Pack in the calories whenever you can. I know most people disagree on giving kids juice, but in our case, it was a great way to pack in extra calories. Look for 100% pure juices, not the sugary kinds, and offer them after he's done eating his meal.

5) Vitamin/mineral supplements. Talk to your doctor about this one before trying it. My DS wasn't getting enough calcium in his diet because of his refusal to consume milk. My Dr recommended a calcium supplement because she said that sometimes when the body isn't getting the vitamins/minerals it needs, it's hard to put on weight in a healthy way.

Good luck! I hope some of these suggestions help you, or at least I hope it helps to know that someone has BTDT
Meredith - Mommy to