Struggling with Awake Time/Naps w/my 5 mos old.

[amyylyn]

Well he ended up sleeping 3 hours this morning but I think it was a fluke.  I laid him down for his afternoon nap at exactly 2hr 10min awake and he fell asleep within 5 minutes but only slept 34 minutes.  So now it is 3:40 and he will be up til bedtime at 6:30 because we have somewhere to go at 5 and won't be home until 6.  So I guess extending his sleep time for later is wrong OR like I said, this morning was just a fluke.  Sigh.

[~Sara~]

Well, let's see how tomorrow goes *hugs*

[amyylyn]

Thanks Sara!  I am going to keep his first A time the same as today but should I shorten his second one from 2:15 back to 2 since he did a short nap at 2:15?

[~Sara~]

should I shorten his second one from 2:15 back to 2 since he did a short nap at 2:15?

I would try the 2h10-2h15 A time for just another day.

How has today gone?

[amyylyn]

He did it again today..   Took a good morning nap, 2 hrs 15 min.  I laid him down at exactly 2 hrs this afternoon because he was whiny and rubbing his face on my shirt which is one of the few sleepy signs he has and he futzed around for 27 minutes and fell asleep then and just woke up at exactly 32 minutes.  So obviously that awake time was way too long but HE kept himself awake that long.  Is it possible his second A time is SHORTER than the first??

[~Sara~]

Is it possible his second A time is SHORTER than the first??

It is possible, yes.  Try scaling back to 2hish for this second A time and see how it goes.

The first nap sounds divine, though!

[amyylyn]

Well I laid him down at 2 hrs and he talked and played with his toes, etc for 27 minutes so I did scale it back to 2 but HE stayed awake.  Should I lay him down sooner??  And now since this nap was shorter I am cutting 30 minutes off and laying him down at 1hr30 for the CN right?  It's 3 1/2 hrs to bedtime so that is way too long to be up. 

[~Sara~]

Well I laid him down at 2 hrs and he talked and played with his toes, etc for 27 minutes so I did scale it back to 2 but HE stayed awake.  Should I lay him down sooner??

Oh, sorry, I misread what you wrote, thinking he cried and fussed for 30 minutes before drifting off.  So, ignore what I said.  I wonder if he wasn't quite ready for sleep yet, but like you said, kept himself up and went over into OT territory.  Try giving him a teensy bit more A time before that nap tomorrow (like, 5 or so minutes more, not too, too much).

And now since this nap was shorter I am cutting 30 minutes off and laying him down at 1hr30 for the CN right?  It's 3 1/2 hrs to bedtime so that is way too long to be up.

Yes, that's too long for him to be awake, especially on a short nap.  Try for the catnap after 1h30--APOP if you have to; let him sleep for ~30 minutes, and then bedtime about 1h-1h30 after he wakes, depending on him.  Will that be really late (I couldn't tell from what you posted)?

[amyylyn]

Okay I will try laying him down at 2hr05min tomorrow   And IF he goes to sleep right away for the CN that timing will be about perfect for his 7 pm bedtime.  He FIGHTS that 3rd nap HARD for some reason.. LOL  APOP I assume means hold him through it right?

Thanks again!!!

[~Sara~]

He FIGHTS that 3rd nap HARD for some reason.. LOL  APOP I assume means hold him through it right?

APOP means whatever method of accidental parenting (all those things that we normally try to avoid) on purpose, hence APOP...so, if he'll go to sleep being held, rocked, in a swing, or a stroller, I say use it on rough days.  A lot of moms will APOP the catnap since it's so short anyways.

You're very welcome

[amyylyn]

I held him for his CN and he did 40 minutes so that will get him through til bedtime for sure. And my DH just noticed a tooth pooped through on the bottom so I bet that is part of why he has been so miserable.  Poor baby!

[~Sara~]

Grr...teeth!  They can be horrible nap busters!  Keep an eye out for the next one (they normally come in pairs).

[*Kara*]

I could have written your post about 3 weeks ago... I was crying every single day from the stress of short naps.  Baby was so OT and certainly feeling my stress.  I was becoming short fused with her at times as well.  HUGE HUGS!!!

I have an oddball kid... I followed the recommended A times and always had battles for every nap.  I decided to just watch her and see what happened... she is an early bird and has a 14 hour day, not 12 right now.  I found that the CN was causing more issues at bedtime that it was eliminating later in the day.  I cut it at 5 months and the first week without it was tough while she adjusted... but it is so much better now!  We are up between 530/6 and she has a bottle before I even take her out of her bedroom (we have major distraction/eating issues right now).  Solids at 745/8 and first nap at 815/830.  You read that right - first A time is about 3 hours!!!  But, she goes down happily and sleeps for at least 1 1/2 hours, generally 2.  Up by 10/1030... lunch at 1145/12 and second nap at 1/115 (another 3 hour A time!!!).  Happily sleeps for 2 hours, sometimes 2 1/2 hours.  Up by 330 (I will wake her at 330 if she isn't up already).  Dinner around 430/5 and bedtime is 7pm.  Zero battles all day with these times.  She is almost 6 1/2 months now, but we have had this routine for a solid 3 weeks now.  She is a new baby.

I love most of what Tracy says, but there are babies who are a little off the beaten path.. you won't know if you have one until you try something new.  I had to realize that what I was doing wasn't working so what was the harm in trying something new??  And it worked

If nothing else, I can tell you that there are a few people here who will state that there seems to be a "switch" that is activated around 6 months... they suddenly get much better at napping longer! 

If you are getting resentful with all of the "training" and trying to fit baby into a mold... just throw caution to the wind for a week and let baby lead you.  As for sleep cues... I had a tough time with those as well... I let her rub her eyes once and then it's off to bed!  Her wind down is super short... up to her room and a bum change... 30 seconds of me holding her and swaying while telling her I love her... into the crib, pat on the head and a quick kiss... leave the room.  I do mellow out the activity level about 15 minutes before I know she will be ready for a nap to help her settle....

[~Sara~]

Well done, Kara   BWing is ultimately about following your child's cues, which is why I think it's so great. It's about learning who your individual child is, their needs, their biorhythms, and helping guide them with all of those.  There are what we call "textbook" A times, sleep times, routines, etc.  Just because that is what the average day looks like for LOs.  But, having been on this site for almost 2 years and after navigating my DS through some tricky parts, I can honestly say I've seen/helped with LOs who do all sorts of routines (am working with a mom right now whose LO has long A times like your DD).  It's been a great experience seeing how every baby is different.  I'm glad that you were able to whisper to your LO

[amyylyn]

Thank you Kara!  I am definitely trying to "read him" better but I have noticed a lot of the time by the time he is rubbing his eyes he is over tired and that nap will always be short. I wonder though I know UT can cause a short nap as well, I wonder if his afternoon short nap is being UT?  Ugh, so confusing!!  LOL  His CN is causing problems too, I held him for it last night and then at his 7 pm bedtime he didn't want to sleep!  He played in his crib until 8.  But then was up to eat at 12:30 and up talking, babbling and rolling around his crib from 4:20-5:00 am, then went back to sleep and was up by 7:15 so he had barely 10 hours of sleep and I know NW are caused by OT.  Sooo confusing.

Oh and we are back to square one now in starting over because poor baby woke up sick this morning and spent most of the day puking or cuddling with Mommy.  He only had two naps, 40 min and 32 min all day. Sigh.  I did put him to bed by 6:15 though so hopefully he sleeps better tonight.

Thanks again ladies, it helps me to have people who have BTDT to bounce things off of!!