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Offline bjutka1

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the hardest thing I have ever had to do
« on: May 19, 2011, 17:06:03 pm »
So after 2.5 months of different diet stuff and EDs, I have give up breastfeeding! I was pushed by the doctor but I also felt that I pretty much exhausted every other possibilities. Even during my strictest diet, Julia was still up every 2-3 hours at night with bad wind and only catnapped. Her poos were never right, only sour smelling, watery and mucousy. I only had one option left but she hates it and so do I.

Can't believe the EDs didn't work and now I have to force this awful noecate on her and she is crying and my breasts are overfull but I can't let her nurse. I keep telling myself that this has to happen for her to feel better and I should be happy for nearly 5 months breastfeeding, some LOs don't even get that much. It registers in my brain but I'm heartbroken.

What if neocate wont' even work? Or it creates other problems, like constipation? Can't see when I'm gonna feel better about this. It's as though I'm mourning this special relationship with her...
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Jutka - lucky mother to 2 gorgeous babies
Peter 25 Oct 2009 and Julia 28 Dec 2010
Married to a loving and proud husband on 25 Aug 2007

Offline anna*

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Re: the hardest thing I have ever had to do
« Reply #1 on: May 19, 2011, 17:19:04 pm »
((((hugs)))) it is hard to end a BFing relationship even when it ends on a happy note - no wonder you feel that you have to grieve the end. I hope and pray that the Neocate will help your beautiful LO to feel happy and well.
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Offline Jenn+Ethan+Emily

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Re: the hardest thing I have ever had to do
« Reply #2 on: May 19, 2011, 18:08:42 pm »
((((((hugs)))))) It sounds like you did your very best. I am sorry it didn't work out :(
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Offline michelle33

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Re: the hardest thing I have ever had to do
« Reply #3 on: May 19, 2011, 19:38:46 pm »
Please please don't feel bad or guilty. You are doing what you feel is right for your baby. 5 months is amazing! Please try and move on from this. I understand how sad you must be feeling but you have done an amazing job, this is just the next step. Don't let your feelings spoil this amazing time with you and your lo. Xx
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Offline *Liz*

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Re: the hardest thing I have ever had to do
« Reply #4 on: May 19, 2011, 19:48:23 pm »
((((hugs)))) I understand. I stopped feeling abruptly for neocate with DS and then for medical therapy for myself this time.

I found it so hard both times, but did feel better once we were 'all done' and my hormones started to go back to normal.
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Offline deb

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Re: the hardest thing I have ever had to do
« Reply #5 on: May 19, 2011, 20:05:32 pm »
Awww, as soon as I saw the title I knew just what the message was going to say. :(

Can you pump a while to help relieve the fullness? In the event she won't take the Neocate, or you have to get her on it more gradually, you'll have, well, SOMETHING in between and can let off the pressure on your breasts at least.

Lots of {{{{HUGGLES}}}} to you - it was bittersweet for me both times, even the time I was the one who initiated it.  :-*
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Offline Mama_Mia

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Re: the hardest thing I have ever had to do
« Reply #6 on: May 19, 2011, 20:36:39 pm »
((((Hugs)))) I'm really sorry things didnt work out with BFing for you. I know what kind of bond that creates and its hard when you have to stop. I felt bad not being able to BF my DGS. Just remember you are doing whats best and even tho its hard, things will work out.
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Offline bjutka1

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Re: the hardest thing I have ever had to do
« Reply #7 on: May 20, 2011, 07:32:53 am »
The transition is not going too well. She hates the stuff and so do I, having to do this. I have to keep pumping otherwise I would get mastitis. Have a big supply and it feels wrong to have to dry it up.

Has anyone experienced any negative side effects with neocate? Just to know what to prepare myself for.

Yesterday, I kept trying her with it the whole day and not giving in BFing, but she only took a total of 370 ml all day. That's way too little, right? I then breastfed her through the night as I don't think I could function during the day if e had to battle through the night too and also worried about her liquied intake. Her nappies used to be so heavy and wet and now they are quite light... Not much pee at all.

Wish I didn't have to do this... :(
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Jutka - lucky mother to 2 gorgeous babies
Peter 25 Oct 2009 and Julia 28 Dec 2010
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Offline anna*

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Re: the hardest thing I have ever had to do
« Reply #8 on: May 20, 2011, 08:00:43 am »
Be careful about BFing through the night you don't want to end up with her reverse cycling ie feeding all night and none in the day. As you are happy for her to have a little breast milk why not transition gradually to the Neocate ie start out with 75% breast milk and 25% Neocate and then in a couple of days go to 50:50 and then in a couple more go to 25:75?
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Offline firsttimemummy

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Re: the hardest thing I have ever had to do
« Reply #9 on: May 20, 2011, 08:09:17 am »
Soooo many hugs to you.  Well done for persevering so long - I am only eliminating dairy and find it tough at times (and we pretty much knew this was the cause of problems as Murray has the same).  5 months is a great length of time to have breastfed.

Murray took a bit of time to get used to Neocate (but he was much older) but now LOVES the stuff!!  Oliver takes Neocate if/when he has to.  I think it just takes time to get used to the taste (and I suppose the fact it comes in a bottle).

Agree with all that pp have said too.  Hope your LO is better soon - it will all be worth it to have a contented little girl (and happy mummy) xxx
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Offline anna*

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Re: the hardest thing I have ever had to do
« Reply #10 on: May 20, 2011, 08:12:23 am »
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Offline Hedgehog17

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Re: the hardest thing I have ever had to do
« Reply #11 on: May 20, 2011, 09:32:35 am »
*HUGS*

BTDT  :( It is really hard at first, and at times I ached to put DS to the breast (in our case he wouldn't have got much out though)  :'(

It takes a while but you can get used to bottle feeding and be just as close - I hated having to do it too at first but now it's fine as he's doing really well, and I can still cuddle him on my lap while he takes his bottle  :)

I agree with anna* - mix the breastmilk & neocate for a while until she gets used to the taste.

More *hugs* from me  :-*
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Offline ~ Vik ~

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Re: the hardest thing I have ever had to do
« Reply #12 on: May 20, 2011, 13:06:38 pm »
More (((hugs))) from here too, and definitely agreeing with Anna. If you breastfeed at night she will refuse to feed during the day to hold out for breastfeeding at night, and then you'll be dealing with the same problem but doing it completely sleep deprived :-\ If you're ok with some breastmilk as you make the transition I would definitely do the mixing idea suggested. That's actually how I got Dylan off of ebm and on to soy when I couldn't pump anymore - it gave him time to get used to the difference in taste.

More (((hugs))) The end of the bfing relationship is always tough, but so much more when you're not ready :-*
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Offline Edesanja

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Re: the hardest thing I have ever had to do
« Reply #13 on: May 20, 2011, 23:26:11 pm »
I've BTDT too and it did take a little while for DS to take the Neocate without protest (DD took it no questions) and a good volume of it. If you look back in a couple of weeks though, I'm sure you'll be amazed!

I can so sympathise with how you're feeling about stopping bfing. I felt exactly the same. All I can say to encourage you is that at least at 5months she's not on solids. IT gets so much more complicated when they are. I stopped at 7 months because it was just getting way too complicated figuring out what was related to my diet and what related to his and while pleased I made it that far, I know stopping before solids would have made our lives easier in that respect. Hindsight is 20/20 though!

Hugs, but I agree - I think you need to go cold turkey on her otherwise you're just going to end up with her reverse cycling.

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Offline bjutka1

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Re: the hardest thing I have ever had to do
« Reply #14 on: May 21, 2011, 08:09:38 am »
Thanks for all the support, girls! Yesterday seemed to be a better day - she took the stuff more willingly. I started to feel slightly better about it too and don't break down in tears every hour or two... Still just wish I could breastfeed like any other "normal" mum but have to accept that she has these problems and will hopefully grow out of them soon.

When the doc and dietitian pushed me to make the switch, one of their point was that when it comes to weaning, it will be a nightmare.

Only thing is, neocate seems to be giving her very smelly gas - anybody else experienced this? Also worried about constipation so I still mix the formula with BM. That way, I figure, her little system gets more of a chance to get used to it.

Oh, what does BTDT mean?
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Jutka - lucky mother to 2 gorgeous babies
Peter 25 Oct 2009 and Julia 28 Dec 2010
Married to a loving and proud husband on 25 Aug 2007
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