the hardest thing I have ever had to do

[Mama_Mia]

BTDT= Been there done that. I'm glad she's doing better with it. It will get easier with time. (((hugs)))) stay strong, your a wonderful mom.

[bjutka1]

How long on neocate before I should see improvement?

[my3girlsjde]

Hi - just saw this and couldn't help but offer {{{hugs}}}

My lo was put on Alimentum, very similar situation when she was around 3 mos. She also reacted to that so I continued to bf on an ED, and we struggled. I never found out what that final 'trigger' was for her. I just finished bf'ing last week and the soy milk she was doing fine with finally started reacting in her little body due to the amount she was finally on. We transitioned to Nutramigen. I went with the mixing idea and pumped off the pressure but didn't give her any. One thing I would recommend is if you're still giving the odd bf but know you're definitely going to be done, is to have a good feed and call it quits after that. End it on a good note and go forward. Don't forget that your hormones are a bit wonky right now due to the stopping of constant feedings so don't beat yourself up for being emotional. I'm crying over everything this week and struggling for ending although it's for the best.

E got better almost immediately after my breast milk and the soy milk was out of her system. I really hope the same for you. She actually slept through the night last night for the first time and she's over 1 now. She's happier, and it was a rough bit at first trying to get her until I mixed. We still have our cuddles and I'm the one who does the bottles and she gets some skin to skin contact but I'll be completely honest that it's more for me as much as she likes it too.

More {{{hugs}}}. Mummy guilt is so hard when bf'ing is concerned. There's nothing wrong with either of you - circumstances just weren't right for you to continue. I commend you on the ED. I did one for 6 months and it was hard.

[bjutka1]

Thank you! You're right- this is a killer. I'm back to crying loads, just finding it sooo difficult. Keep wanting to let go but I can't seem to be able to do it. If she was older, it would be easier but she is only 5 months next week. At least you can say that you have breastfed your LO for so much longer!! It's hard to understand that a synthetic man-made stuff put together in a factory is better for her than my milk.

Plus I keep getting advice from my home country (I'm not originally from Northern Ireland) that breast is best and when allergy is concerned the longer you breastfeed the better...

[Buntybear]

Oh hun I am so sorry this is so hard for you. No advice I am afraid but Olly had allergies and he was EBF till he was 14 months xxx

[my3girlsjde]

Plus I keep getting advice from my home country (I'm not originally from Northern Ireland) that breast is best and when allergy is concerned the longer you breastfeed the better...

as is the case here. It's hard to hear that when you're in the position of making such a difficult decision. I still feel twinges as I'll always wonder if I should have carried on even though E is doing much better on the hypo-allergenic formula. My lactation consultant (who was a Godsend when E was a Failure To Thrive) had a saying: "Breast is best until it's not". I really held on to that.

The other thing I wanted to mention was what I copied from another thread:
You Have Done THIS:

Reasons To Be Proud

First Feed:
For baby - helps to stabilise baby’s blood sugars and protect baby’s gut.
For mother - a great opportunity for the first skin-to-skin cuddle.

1 Day:
For baby - the antibodies in mother’s colostrum provide natural immunity from infection. 
For mother - helps womb to contract to normal size.

2-3 Days:
For baby - sticky black meconium is cleared more readily from baby’s bowel. 
For mother - instant relief for hot, swollen breasts when milk comes in.

1 Week:
For baby - transition to world outside womb is eased. 
For mother - frequent feeds mean time to sit or lie down and for you to get to know each other.

2 weeks:
For baby - food & drink always ready at the right temperature, adapting to the baby’s needs. 
For mother - hormones help you to get back to sleep after night feeds.

4 weeks:
For premature babies - lower risk factors for heart disease in later life. 
For mother - saves time sterilising and making up bottles.

6 weeks:
For baby - half the risk of chest infections now and up to 7 years old.
For mother: Breastfeeding likely to be easier and you can go out and about without bottle feeding equipment.

2 months:
For baby - lower risk of food allergy at 3 years old if breastfed only.
For mother - reduced risk of ovarian cancer in later life.

3 months:
For baby - five times less likely to get diarrhoea now and a reduced risk for the whole year.
For mother - fewer visits to gp as baby is less often ill.

4 months:
For baby - Half the risk of ear infections.  Less risk of asthma now and protection continues for up to 6 years.
For mother - feeling of empowerment at having been solely responsible for growing your baby for 4 months.

5 months:
For baby - five times lower risk of urinary tract infections.
For mother - a lovely way to reconnect with the baby if you go to work.

So yes, the longer you go GENERALLY the better. You have done this much. I won't try to talk you out of the guilt as I still feel it daily when E happily drinks her bottle of synthetic formula and I wonder what's in it. But I can tell you that you're not alone, and you have a ton of support for the gift you've given and for the hard decision you've had to make. You're allowed to be upset, as it's tough not being able to do what you feel is so natural and proper. You're a great Mummy 

[bjutka1]

Thanks, Vicki - wonder how it goes on???

At the minute she is about half noecate, half breast cos I just can't give up and she seems to be doing really well. I'm really hesitant what to do. One minute I think it would be for the best if she was on it completely, the next I'm crying my eyes out and want to go on. The doc seemed to think that I'm harming her by going on and the latest research says breast is NOT best when it comes to allergies...

Wonder could I keep doing half and half? Though I think this would annoy the hospital people very much. Don't know if I would get their support when it comes to weaning...

[Shiv52]

Though I think this would annoy the hospital people very much. Don't know if I would get their support when it comes to weaning...

Am not sure what hospital you are going to but my friend sees the paed and feeding team in the Ulster in Dundonald.  They had told her to stop BFing when her LO was 4/5 months due to allergies and move to neocate and she was devastated but was finding the ED very very difficult so took their advice.  She couldn't cope though with giving up BFing and her LO wasn't doing that much better on the neocate (which i guess is different as you are seeing improvement) so she went back to 1/2 BFing, 1/2 neocate and then back to EBF and is on a very restrictive ED.  Initially the feeding team were not impressed but they supported her when they saw she was determined.  Her LO is 7 months now and doing really well and weaning is going really well.   Did the doctor give you the research to read through?   

Am not sure how the hospital responded to my friend not keeping up with the neocate but I'll ask her and i know they were supportive in the end when she told them she was determined to follow the ED. 

{{{{hugs}}} Must be really tough to make this decision xx

[bjutka1]

This is the hospital I'm going to! Is there any chance I could contact your friend? Do you think she would mind?

[my3girlsjde]

How are things going sweetie? Been thinking about your situation a lot, as it brough a lot of mine back.

Just to give you a little background - E was a Failure to Thrive and I was pressured from Paeds and family to quit bf'ing. We tried Alimentum which made things worse, I was an emotional wreck with the decision so I continued to bf. If your lo is no better on the formula I can certainly understand why you want to continue - I've btdt. The ED is very hard but there's a lot of support here. These ladies literally kept me sane in a very dark time.

You are doing a great job and the fact that you're this upset shows you really do want to fo the right thing. I hope you're getting some support IRL.

[Shiv52]

This is the hospital I'm going to! Is there any chance I could contact your friend? Do you think she would mind?

She wouldn't mind at all.  I'll text her and ask her and let her know you'll be contacting her and PM you her details.  I had hoped you were going to the Ulster as I thought she would be able to help xx

[bjutka1]

Thanks. Looking forward to talking to your friend!

Julia has never been Failure to Thrive, she is around the 50th percentile. BUT she IS highly allergic. My diet has been very strict (potatoes, rice, root veg, pears, chicken and lamb) but I have never been able to reach a baseline. She improved but still only catnapped, was up loads at night with wind and there was always mucous in her poo...

Would so love to go on breastfeeding but I'm not quite sure what else I could eliminate from my diet... Part of me really wants neocate to work. I think I have to give it a trial. Just want her to feel better! It's a terrible feeling though when I feed her from the bottle and feel my milk letting down. Or when she is crying and I can't feed her but have to run to get the formula ready. And she is wondering why I'm not responding to her promptly like I used to.

It further complicates things that I also have a young toddler who is only a year and a half and he has been very jealous the last week or so. Probably senses that my focus is on Julia and my despair that I have to stop breastfeeding - it really is pretty much consuming me... So awful. I completely understand what you're saying, Vicki about this being a very dark time...

[firsttimemummy]

so many hugs xxx

[my3girlsjde]

I know exactly what you mean when you say it's consuming you as I was so there 8 months ago.

I have no advice in that department as I really struggled there too. I felt that I was ignoring my twins and they knew where the focus was. Just a thought though, as I've been doing it and find it helping as E demands to feed NOW. When I know she'll need a bottle within about half an hour to an hour, I'll get one ready and stick it in a bowl of warm water to keep it nice and toasty for her. The can instructions say it's good for an hour and a full day in the fridge. I make them up in the morning now when the girls are eating (perhaps this is something your older lo could do) and keep them in the fridge. Around the time I think she'll be looking for one I'll pop it in the water and it's already ready to go. Less grumpy baby, less stress on me, less chaos from the girls.

More {{{hugs}}} I can't remember but is she medicated for reflux at all?

[my3girlsjde]

Sorry re bottle help - perhaps this is something your older lo could HELP do.