Author Topic: How to handle food rejection due to esthetics and spitting of textures  (Read 4288 times)

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Offline Tweakster

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Title says all.

After a slow start on solids, F became a fab eater.  I mean we really had no worries.  Off food when teething only and this kid could eat.

Now eating is really hit and miss at 26 mths.  The list of foods he used to scarf down has dwindled and do much food is going to waste because he won't eat it.  It's going to waste because it's fresh - we're doing our utmost to live natural.

Now he refuses food just on the basis of looks. 'No mommy no like it'. He's never tried it!  Or it could be something like sweet potato which he pretty much lived off of at 8 mths but now - forget it.

He's also taken to spitting food out, sometimes he eats it again but mostly he just mushes it out and spits it back on the plate.  This has happened with oranges, apples (skin), blueberries, strawberries, dried fruits, any vegetables raw or cooked and meat.  Never with bread or other carbs, if you'll notice.

He's becoming more constipated a lot and I don't really know what else to do since I can't get him to eat much fibre or drink enough liquids.

Tips tricks or commiserations?
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Offline deb

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Nat still spits out things with too much texture, like blueberries, but - sometimes she'll scarf them down. Neither girl will touch fruit smoothies in a blender but WILL eat the SAME smoothies frozen into popsicles. ::) And then, sometimes, they'll eat berries like there's no tomorrow.

Oh, I also discovered that J in particular but both girl WILL eat or at least try things elsewhere that they wouldn't be bothered with here. DH and I went :o at each other when Natalie came home from a friend's house after a playdate and ASKED for hummus! We had tried for MONTHS to get her to TRY the stuff! ::) Josie did the same with raw broccoli: wouldn't touch it at OUR tale, but did eat it for snack at preschool and would also eat it right from the garden. Nat used to love cooked broccoli but since I make it so seldom (I can't digest it :(), she now no longer will take it..... but I bet if I sneaked it into something else, it'd be another story. And carrots, they're hot and cold on them. Nat isn't fond of scrambled eggs, but over easy with bread dipped in is another story. We compromise by giving them bacon or sausage to dip in the yolks. :)

We do have a "try it and if you don't like it, fine" rule - but as we're also doing fewer and fewer grain-based things, we tell the girls right up front that if they don't like X, their options are limited. They already know that if they don't like X, bread or pasta won't be options. :D That sort of helps, most times.

Offline Mom to M&M

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Does it happen even when he's super hungry? Or only when he's had a good lunch already at nursery plus snack and isn't really hungry for anything he doesn't REALLY want/love?

As you know, I DON"T have a good eater by any means (well DD is great, but not DS) but we try to do like Deb said - I'll offer one other option at dinner time but it's not a super favorite. Many nights it's homemade chicken noodle soup (which is pretty much always handy at our house)...
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Offline *Becky*

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Henry is exactly like this atm and it is really tough. I am trying to work out what to do too so will follow along. Veg is non existent and it is all about snacks and sweet stuff....we don't even give him much compared to what I see with friends but he constantly asks me for biscuits etc.




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Offline Mashi

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Wendy we do a lot of playing with it - roll the blueberries across the table, I wonder what happens if I smush it, touch it to the end of your nose, lick it with your tongue and stick it out, etc.  It just makes him more familiar with it and less 'afraid' of it iyswim.  I don't play and then say 'now eat it' but play and then just leave it at that.  Or play and then I eat it.  (Ya, I am getting used to dirty little fingers having mauled my food before I eat it.....). Often when we are eating he stops and asks us to open our mouths so he can look at it, and we do...it is all just him being curious about food and its properties and so on.  For the first time in ages he asked to try a raspberry - he tried them in the summer when he was 1, so nearly 2 full years ago and has flat out refused to go near them since then.  We took one apart the other day, smushed it and watched how the little pieces fall apart , iykwim? Counted them, smelled them and then put it out on the balcony for the birds (his idea).  When he got up from his nap and it was gone he had a lot of questions - which bird ate it, was it nice, is that bird's tongue red, etc.  The next day when he woke up the first thing he asked was if he could try one - he took it slowly, sucked on it, played with it in his mouth and then spit it out - but it was not an instant spit, it was really trying it out and seeing what he thought. He has never been willing to do that before.  Raspberries really are a strange texture and sharp taste, and I have no care that he did not like it, but that he tried it was fantastic. He was not willing to for ages until he got really comfortable with it, kwim?

Offline Katet

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OK F is being like Ds2 now, not Ds1 LOL.

can't give you much help as Ds2 would live on processed carbs given half a chance... BUT with DS1 after him being a challenge to feed for most of his life, I can actually plan a 2 week meal plan & have him eat same as DH & I on all but one (curry) night.

For me the 5 things on plate rule has worked well... they only get more of a 'prefered' food when all the other foods have been attempted.
dc1 July 03, dc2 May 05

Offline Tweakster

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But the weird bit about it all is that he ate all of these foods, in fact loved all of these foods between 12-24 mths.  We did BLW early because he almost refused to let you put the spoon in his mouth at 6 mths plus he teethed early so he enjoyed picking foods up.  There really wasn't a fruit I could give him that he wouldn't chow down and we were moving right along with meat and veggies. Mealtimes were fun and snack wasn't stressful.

Now it's like a flip has switched and he's suddenly cautious of everything - even though he's been eating it for a year.  Do their taste buds get sharper or do they just realize they have the ability to say no?

Karen he could be starving and I put a bowl of carrots down and he either cries at me for something he wants ('cookies mummy' 'biscuit' 'choc-lat mommy' darn you Easter lol)
or he'll try them, chew them up and then spit them all over the carrots that are fresh and clean.  Who wants to eat them after his daycare mouth has been on them?

So I answer my own question here in that I guess I have to give him one at a time to prevent the game (do you think it's a game?) and the waste that goes along with it.

But these 'must try' rules...how do you enforce them?  He would happily not eat, I think.
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Offline Katet

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Yes their tastebuds are more sensitive, I think it is between 2 & 5yo that they are the peak of sensitivity, I think it something like 100 times more sensitive compared to an adult. I think it is also they test out what they can eat & know foods they like, but they are more sensitive to the taste... I think it is moreso with spirited children too.
dc1 July 03, dc2 May 05

Offline aisling

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Yes their tastebuds are more sensitive, I think it is between 2 & 5yo that they are the peak of sensitivity, I think it something like 100 times more sensitive compared to an adult. I think it is also they test out what they can eat & know foods they like, but they are more sensitive to the taste... I think it is moreso with spirited children too.

Totally agree, been there, and for once followed the advice from the 10's of friends (non BW'ers) who had children (many 3 and 4 of them) much older than N;

"Don't stop offering, even food you KNOW they do not like at whatever age, they are fickle, they will love something, then go off of something due to textures, colours etc...accept this and say to them ok, we'll try it another day and keep offering.  This will go on for years and years. Always keep offering."

I followed this and they were right.   He is always willing to try too, which is awesome, unless really offensive, (I offered him some sardines) and he smelled them and said no way, not even trying, do you blame him?

I offered N blueberries and grapes when he was in his 2's and no go, I could not believe it,  I never gave up, offered here and there and now, requests that I buy them.

So glad I listened and didn't just say, oh I guess he does not like fruits with skins.

Not a lot of things are for the rest of your life in life, it seems.

HUGS, I remember being frustrated.

To give you hope, Ds just ate a spinach, artichoke and feta cheese pizza.

Ps. for spirited LO's I was recommended giving him peas, berries and mango frozen, he preferred them frozen than to normal!  He still has frozen peaches and mango for a snack. He likes the sensation of cold, always has.  He eats his peas normally now lol.

Offline shivi

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can totally relate -

For me its a touchy/spirited boy issue - Oscar went off every veg except cucumbers for around 6 mths after his 2nd birthday, then we had a "WHITE only" phase when he would literally only eat white food (I coined it to jealousy of the new baby that was Emma, eating my milk....but maybe not).

3 was worse, 4 even worse again...and now - he eats EVERYTHING including sardines (!) and raspberries and is willing and longing to try new food.

It really is one of those things that passes. To get us thro we used a good multi vit with omegas, juices and smoothies and hid the veg but kept offering everything unhidden as well.

I was a touchy/spirited kid but not in the same way -I was more sensitive to noise and the same with lack of sleep as Oscar but didn't have the gag reflex he has nor the touch sensitivity with tags on clothes etc....and I never went off my food apart from when pg with him LOL!

Emma is totally different, though just as or even more spirited and she is a better and better eater as the days go by since BLW. I keep thinking she's going to go thro Oscar's can't eat/won't eat/will throw it away but she likes everything, or almost everything. One thing she refuses is herbs like parsley floating in her soup.....otherwise she enjoys every morsel.

I seriously never thought I'd see the day when in summertime we'd be able to enjoy a greek salad all together but this year its here and its Oscar who is robbing the tomatoes, olives and cucumber not to mention feta as I chop them....

S x


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Offline *Becky*

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I seriously never thought I'd see the day when in summertime we'd be able to enjoy a greek salad all together but this year its here and its Oscar who is robbing the tomatoes, olives and cucumber not to mention feta as I chop them....
wow - that would be amazing!!!
I do really dream of the day we do not have to 'hide' veg just to get it into him.




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Offline Tweakster

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And I refuse to hide veg...although I did buy some chicken meatballs this week with fire-roasted veg mixed in, smothered in sauce he didn't even notice, ah ha - gotcha! lol  Is it sad that I one up my kid? lol

Anyway, today they had cherries on sale, it's cherry season now and I looove them so much.  I bought a few bags as they were cheap, even bought a cherry pitter (really cool by the way, also does olives) and he took one, licked it, said 'no like it, garbage' and went off to the bin and threw it away lol  'No like it' garbage' is the party line for food lately.

Ok I'll keep offering, but perhaps not give him his own bowl of anything anymore and expect him to eat it.  Seems like he just a) doesn't have much appetite and b) only wants to mess around and mush fruit into each other and spit veggies out which is gross and annoying.

It's just sad.  It went so well for 1 year and now I feel like we have a slightly picky eater.  However, my friend's boy will only eat Cheerios and yogurt, he happily doesn't eat and is still wearing 24 mth size pants at age 3.  So it's not that bad I guess.

I should have known it was a Spirited thing, he even refused to take a bath in a different bathtub tonight, DH tried to kill two birds with one stone in our big bath with air jets no less and he acted like we were torturing him.  The jets weren't even on.  Just nope, it's not HIS bath.  Don't change anything!  Why don't I just learn lol
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Offline aisling

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I still add food processor chopped fine spinach and carrot to almost all soups, sauces and stews, it is good for the whole family and it is not hidden to any of us, we all know this is healthy eating and it tastes good too.

Yes, they don't like change and it is all about playing/exploring and what they want to do on their own time.  Eating, sleeping, dressing etc...is in the way of all this.  Sep Anx is due to all this struggle of emotions, independence surge, developmental growth (physically, emotionally and intellectually) but they still need Mummy, (when they want Mummy) to help them sort things out.   From my experience, boys have a harder time dealing with this, they are more easily overwhelmed and lacking in maturity and running on pure primitive blood. Throw in some spirited behaviour in there and it is a freaking amusement park: part fun, part scary, part annoying, part get me out of this place and part, can we just stay here a bit longer...  8)

I still find we have 6 month growth spurts with emotional and independence surges, Sep Anx. attitude probs and then just as quickly as they come, they go and you just sit there going wow, what an amazing creature!  Whilst it is happening though, you are ready to jump in the lake and drink a bottle of wine a day!

As far as eating goes, 2's were way different than 1, so we chose out battle, made things interesting, bent a few rules, kept selections short, sweet and fun, just like everything else. He now eats us out of house and home, I need to get a part time job to pay for food.  :P

« Last Edit: May 22, 2011, 00:31:49 am by aisling »

Offline Mashi

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Wendy, that is a favourite saying here too "no like mama, i put in bin!" or he will not even want to try it so he will drop (ie throw) it on the floor and then say "oh dear, was on floor mama, too dirty for eat!"  Stinker!

The other thing I try hard to keep in mind is that there are a lot of foods that I like, but that I just don't WANT right then.  I know that is not the issue all of the time here, and with you either, but I am sure that (here anyway) it is a factor some of the time. He will tell me he doesn't like something because he does not know how to express that he is just not in the mood for it right then.  We had a pasta salad with dinner a couple of nights ago and I made a large one. So we had it again the next night. And then the 3rd night he was saying "yuck no like that one!" but he had eaten it fine for 2 nights.  DH said "well I am sick of it after having it Wed and Thurs as well so I don't blame him!" but all DS knew how to say was that he did not like it, even though he did.   There are other things he claims to not like (Shreddies, his favourite cereal, suddenly he hates) and IMO I think he is just sick of them after eating them every morning for a month, and in another month he will eat them again!

Offline Tweakster

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That's a good point Mashi.  And wouldn't you know it, yesterday he ate cherries.  Even DH ate cherries and he's not normally a fan either.  He had to have his pitted of course (princess lol) 

I do think F only wanted them because I had a big bowl and he didn't have anything as he had already finished his snack (some veggie crisps).  But it's still progress.  The first one he just licked and tossed.  But then he wanted more and so I gave him three and said that was all.  He then made a move to eat them.  In hopes of getting more to play with I think lol

So I'll keep offering, just much smaller quantities I think.  Although I do tend to try to eat up his food (only the healthy stuff!) if he doesn't finish it, it's sometimes too gross to eat after he has spit it out or whatever it is he does with it lol

I made the mistake of giving him waffles now every minute of the day he wants waffles.  As soon as he's hungry 'waffles mommy?'  If I get something else going he's crying 'waffle, no mommy, waffles please'  Arrrghh.  He gets 'stuck' on things - like waffles, cheese and bananas.

@Ais - yes amusement park is a great way to describe it...and for someone like me who actually hates rides to begin with lol
The tweaking never stops!

Offline Mashi

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DS gets stuck on things here, too. Will want them non-stop, until he is sick of them. And never tells me he plans to get sick of them, waits until the day after we have done the grocery shopping and I have a fridge full!  I remember being the same way though as a kid - I very much remember my oranges phase, which lasted probably a good full year, I think I ate 3-4 a day. One weekend my mom came home with a bag of them with groceries and I almost puked just looking at them.  No idea what made me suddenly sick of them as it was not a gradual tapering off, just from all to nought!

Offline Tweakster

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So this lady was on a parenting show I watch fairly religiously:
http://www.myfriendinfood.com/about-theresa-friends/

Actually quite refreshing. 

And said basically what you gals have been saying, which is 'do not follow them down the rabbit hole' and in fact she suggests at this age going even grander with your offerings.  Because yes, it is their taste buds, apparently this is the age where things stop tasting all sweet to them and they are able to distinguish salty and sour and other tastes more easily.  So the more exposure the better, regardless of waste, it pays off down the road, they have research that shows this.
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Offline aisling

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they have research that shows this.

Fellow mothers, grandmothers and great-grandma's!?  ;)


Hugs.  :-*

Offline Deb_in_oz

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wendy - everything you describe is what happened to me with Alex. she is not spirited (liv is and never had this extreme an issue) but was textbook / angel.

up until 2 1/2 she ate like a champion (coudl live on avocado sandwiches, licked brie off crackers, stole african curry from my plate)  between 2  and 3 1/2 we lost foods here and there but i did not notice as i was still dealing with PPD and dealing with 2 kids at very different stages.
we moved when she was 3 1/2 and it went rapidly down hill from there and now at 8 we are still dealing with this. i don't think we are friends on FB (?) but i have posted a lot on there about my frustrations over the years reachign a head a couple of times including 2 weeks ago.  Alex has THE most sensitive pallate i have ever seen (to taste, texture, any deviations from what she knows something to be).  if i sub a brand of PB in her sandwich she wil know at first nibble, she can tell the difference in a fish finger by sight even though it looks identical to every other person).  the foods she cut out were all mentioned in your earlier post - berries, apples with skins, meats, veg etc with a preference for carbs (mostly healthy ones but still restrictive).  her current diet (without my sneaky chef style baking) is 1 banana daily (i refused to let her have 0 fruit so she chose to keep bananas under protest), healthy cereals (we don't do sugar ones), real porridge with a little honey, peanut butter (on crackers, wholemeal bread or a bagel), fish fingers or crumbed fish, shredded mozarella cheese (can tell if i accidentally buy full fat), homemade mac and cheese, plain pasta (not even oil or butter on it) or rice, hashbrowns, quesedilla (made with wholegrain tortillas and said mozarella)+ snack foods (meusli bars as healthy as i can get, popcorn, pretzels, etc).  I DO get extra nutrition in by working with her carb preference and she loves beetroot and cocoa muffins, pumpkin pancakes, pink pancakes from deceptively delicious, etc.


i think aisling's first post summed up what i wish someone had said to me - keep offering the foods even if rejected 20 times. i never made/make her eat anything, but i DID stop offering things over time and catered to thiese preferences out of respect i thought because she seriously woudl get hysterical at the THOUGHT of some foods (if she knew chicken was for dinner she would start stressing about it and crying at 2pm). i thought it was related to the move so kept "riding it out",  but it IS frustrating to deal with for YEARS (been 4 + years now with both of us crying a LOT). i hope you (and anyone else reading this) do not have to face that kind of time frame and do think the main thing i did wrong was to not offer the foods more often - i would still put whatever veg liv was having on alex's plate too, but so many meals were just what she liked instead of soem of what she liked and some of what had been rejected.

we ended up at a nutritionist last year and the method she advocated was similar to kate's - put out al the food and always include 1 or 2 of their preferred foods but they cannot just eat an enormous amount of 1 of those (ie can have 1-2 normal serves of plain pasta but not 2 giant bowls and nothing else.  so once she has had enough of her faves it is try one of the others or meal is finished). never to force them to eat anything (so she stood by my never making her try even one bite) etc

sorry for the long post but i look at you like it was me all those years ago and i don't wish this hell on anyone. i wish i had friends like aisling did who said what they did, maybe my stress levels would have been less and my child woudl not feel so badly about her "difference" every time we are in public, at a BBQ, dinner out or travelling!

hugs to you and Finn!
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Offline Tweakster

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Aww Deb thanks for sharing.  I'm really always so grateful for this board and all the BTDT stories and seeing how people are learning from each other.

I'm learning a lot as I go and have been having good success with still offering him the rejected foods but just in smaller quantities.  I think a large part of my problem is really having no clue about portions or portion control and I can barely manage it for myself, never mind my kid.  I need to recognize that if he'll even eat 1 carrot at a meal I should call it a victory and a step forward.

I do admit that to see my 'good eater' start to dwindle his foods down scared me a lot but if I have any kind of emotional response to this it's only setting up a power play and I will lose because you really can't make kids eat - nor would I really want to.
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Offline Deb_in_oz

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when i offer something like veggies they might / don't like i put small amounts - so if i am adding raw red pepper which liv will eat 3/4 time i put 4 pieces on her plate with dinner and 1-2 small pieces on alex's (and pray that someday she will take a nibble). it is less intimidating and if they like it they can ask for more. i count ANY that gets in their body as a "serve" since alex especially eats none.  she had 1 small piece of broccoli the other night (now that i am pushing her instead of going with the flow) - she sat down to diner and said "yay brocolli' since she liked the nibbles she had last time. then she proceeded not to eat any (or liv) and i insisted they each eat one piece (hoping that woudl lead to 2, but that is all they ate) and i felt good about the vitamins that they got that they would not otherwise have got that day LOL
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Offline Tweakster

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And so what do you do when you make your kid blueberry pancakes and they take one bite, drop their jaw, point at the slightly chewed food and run to the bin to spit it out? lol  He did the same with a blueberry muffin the following day.  And he'll eat them sans blueberries.  So not sneaking anything into this kid lol
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Offline Mom to M&M

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Blueberry puree makes purple pancakes! Beets make pink ones!
Karen: Proud Mama to Marisa (8-11-05) and Matthew (6-5-09) and happily married to my best friend and love of my life since 10-13-01

Offline Tweakster

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Ah yes, I should be pureeing them.  Of course.  The whole reason I bought a Magic Bullet lol  Mind you he would probably have an issue with the colour 'no like it blue'

Karen, even I wouldn't eat beet pancakes lol 

Love the new avatar!  Your little girl looks like a mini-you :-)
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Offline Deb_in_oz

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my super picky kids favourite boosted foods are pink pancakes fro deceptively delicious (has apples grated, ricotta cheese and pureed beets) - they are slightly sweet, haleht and the kids love them.

i also have a great muffin recipe that is her fave which is beetroot and cocoa - also very little sugar added and she eats 1 1/2 - 2 per lunch serve.


for the blueberry puree the only thing i do is make purple puree from sneaky chef = blueberries + spinach.  i then make her brownies in big batches - they have this puree plus wheat germ, very low levels of sugar and chocolate are needed and it delivers such big boost of antioxidants that picky kids are missing. i put 2 small ones in her lunch box (1 for liv)

i post these and other recipes on my notes page on FB if you want to check it ou.
Debra - a New Yorker living in Australia married to a Brit

dd1 - Textbook/Angel, born July 2003
dd2 - Spritied through & through, born Feb 2005

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Offline Mom to M&M

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Thanks Wendy! Yea she looks quite a bit like me, other than her cheeks (hers are fuller) and mouth - those and her skin tone are more DH.

I haven't tried the pink pancakes yet that Deb mentioned but have heard really good things from other parents with picky eaters.
Karen: Proud Mama to Marisa (8-11-05) and Matthew (6-5-09) and happily married to my best friend and love of my life since 10-13-01