17mo nap at a wedding -how and when?

[*Ali*]

DS is 17mo and has been on one nap since 12.5mo. He never takes 2 naps even if the nap is 25mins, we just do an earlier BT and he will do a longer night (once 13hr50!). His current routine is mostly
07.30 WU
12.45 - 15.00 Nap
20.00 BT (asleep)
He normally naps in his cot but will also nap in the buggy as long as there is quiet after the first 30mins of the nap. By that I mean if we are still out and about by 35mins he will wake up. If I have parked him in our hallway, he will often stir at 45mins but go back to sleep until 1hr20 total nap, sometimes longer. If I park him elsewhere he normally wakes at 45min. I guess he sees he is somewhere unfamiliar (or dark if I use the snoozeshade blackout blind for the buggy) and wakes up crying. There is no hope of transferring him once asleep. He will wake and refuse to go back to sleep even after as little as 10mins.

We are going to a wedding next week and I'm worried about how I'm going to get a nap in him and ideally keep him up a little later. It is the wedding of a close friend so I want us to miss as little of the day as possible. Also DH is best man so I will likely be dealing with DS on my own most of the day including getting ready in the morning and getting to the venue. I will be 30wks pregnant BTW.

The wedding is at 1pm, I will be travelling there and arriving for the 30 mins immediately before that. There are 2 ceremonies one immediately after the other which will go on until 3pm. This all seems to cut into DS's ideal nap time. I am already wondering how on Earth I am going to keep him quiet and entertained for 2hrs! Especially as he will probably be trying to get to DH who will be at the front with the groom. This will be even worse if he is OT although he copes quiet well with OT if entertained.

So my options seem to be to
1) Get him up early that morning and then try to get him to take an early nap before the ceremony. This would have to be in the buggy though as we will be checking out of the hotel we will be in the night before and then checking into a room at wedding venue (this is non-negotiable) so it would likely be 45mins max. I could possibly get to the venue early so he could nap right before it all starts. And he would probably wake up as soon as there was any noise. That would then mean he really needed an early BT which is not desirable AT ALL. The wedding is set to finish at midnight although obviously I'm not expecting him to last until then.

2) Keep him up until after the ceremonies and then disappear off with the buggy to get a nap then. But I can't miss the photos so might have to wait until after these too. This later nap would hopefully be enough to keep him happy until a later BT. It would however mean he will probably be a little terror during the ceremonies.

He normally STTN for 11.5hrs ish but I'm not sure how he'll be in a hotel. He'll have more NWs judging by past performance when he was much younger. So he might be already OT from NWs and/or an EW before the day even starts.

What would you do?

Thanks

Ali

[jul28baby]

The only suggestion I can think of is to bring a grandparent, babysitter or friend that could nap him in the hotel room during the ceremony and then get him up for pictures.  We will have a similar situation next May at my brother's wedding but my DS will be 26 mos. old.  He is the ring bearer, my DD is the flower girl and both DH and I are in the wedding.  It is a 2pm wedding.  I'm think we might have to skip the nap at that time and have someone (grandparent) take him home for an EBT.  Sorry I couldn't be more helpful.

[sianie]

Hi Ali..

Bit of a tricky one....I would have suggested APOP'ing 2 naps as a one off just to get him through the day (& based on the fact that he's unlikely to have the chance to do 1 long nap plus he'll have a later BT).

Agree with PP...is there anyone you can bring with you to help with Cadan?

[*Ali*]

Thanks ladies.
Unfortunately there is no one to bring as it is too far from home for a day trip and there is no space for them to stay at the venue with us (it's not a hotel but a country house with on site bedrooms for the weddding party only) . I wouldn't be able to check in, set up the travel cot and get him to sleep before the ceremonies for a nap in the room unfortunately.
The only AP I have is the buggy as he very rarely feeds to sleep and I certainly cannot rely on it. I might have to try your suggestion Sian but he hasn't had 2 naps for so long I'm not sure if I could manage it. He has to be awake at least 5 hours before he will drop off again in the buggy even on a 30min nap. Maybe I should try for a nap at 12/12.30 and then another about 6pm. Both would have to be in the buggy. I just have visions of me walking round for an hour in the evening and him being like "Mum, what are we doing?". That would be fine if he would go to sleep for both naps.

[firsttimemummy]

thb - if it is just one day he *may* manage to keep going, or just crash out at some point in the buggy (we were abroad at a wedding in August and the whole week was chaotic as Murray never really sleeps in the buggy, was wakening early with the daylight and going to bed late - by the end of the week he was harder work but it was manageable! .. a few days at home and he was back to normal).

Def take the buggy. Even now if Murray is ot etc I strap him in the buggy wherever we are and he is quite placid (but crazy hyper if  I let him out!!!).

Hopefully your LO will be okay for the day and you don't stress in advance about it.  If your LO is hard work I am sure someone will offer to take him for a walk in the buggy or something .... enjoy  

[*Ali*]

Thanks Lucy. Def taking the buggy! We have never had a no nap day I don't think but who knows?
I am secretly hoping he will be that kid that is sound asleepin the buggy in the corner of the disco  but that may be wishful thinking.
He is quite resilient really so I should try not to stress about it. I am actually really looking forward to the wedding and intent on having a fab day.

[firsttimemummy]

Sure it will all be fine! We were at a wedding last weekend - Oliver slept soundly in his moses basket all evening!! Murray just kept going on and on and on ... until 11pm when he started going crazy so we went to bed! I think the secret was to just keep Murray fed whenever he got grumpy, keeping his meal times to the normal time (we took things with us for him, and he also grazed on the official meal too), took lots of toys, etc .....

When Murray gets really tired (if out and about) he will have a really quick nap that keeps him going.  Not ideal, but we survive and get back on track soon enough.

Enjoy

[*Liz*]

I would wait until after the ceremonies then take short walk in the buggy to nod him off for a bit.

That said J climbed into his stationary buggy in the middle of a restaurant and fell asleep when he was about 2  . He had just had enough so he went to sleep  . When we were on holiday we did a lot of short walks at strategic times to nod him off for the evening - then just had him asleep in the buggy and stayed out longer.

I will admit DD is a little trickier though as she isn't a big buggy sleeper 

[sianie]

I think for the one day it will probably be a case of winging it a little & taking the opportunity as it arises to get him to sleep.

At least it's a one off so worst case scenario & he doesn't sleep/only has a short nap then you can get him back on track the next day.

Have a lovely time! 

[*Ali*]

At least it's a one off so worst case scenario & he doesn't sleep/only has a short nap then you can get him back on track the next day.

I was kinda worried that worse case scenario was him all hyper and screaming and crying cos he is OT during the ceremony actually. He is one of those when he is really tired everything is the end of the world.
I guess I'll see what time he is up in the morning. Maybe between now and then I can let his day shift from 7.30am-8pm to 8.30am-9pm instead of waking him from naps if it gets too late. He has been getting later some days since clocks changed anyway.

[kiansmam]

could you not alter his routinue slightly the day before to allow for a slightly later bedtime and a later wake up the day of the wedding. Hopefully then he will be able to go a bit longer and take a nap after the ceremony, and a later bedtime.

[*Ali*]

could you not alter his routinue slightly the day before to allow for a slightly later bedtime and a later wake up the day of the wedding. Hopefully then he will be able to go a bit longer and take a nap after the ceremony, and a later bedtime.

Yeah, that is what I meant by letting his day shift later between now and then. I don't think just keeping him up the night before would necessarily mean he would sleep later the next day as he sometimes wakes earlier if he was too OT when he went to bed. Hopefully if I let it shift later slowly over the next 12 days it will avoid the OT and mean he is used to napping later in the day.
Thanks for all your help ladies.

[*Ali*]

Just a little update on how it went yesterday at the wedding...
So we successfully moved Cadan's day to roughly 9pm BT and 8-8.30am WU in the week before the wedding. It got ruined by the groom texting DH the moring of the wedding at 6.50am. We were all sharing a room so the text coming through woke us all up and we started the day. Since that meant a <10hr night we did nap 11.50am-1.10pm. Cadan woke up seconds before the ceremony started which worked out well since he is always subdued and clingy when he first wakes up. So he sat on my lap nicely for the whole thing.
I then went for a strategically- timed walk with the buggy so he slept in there 7.55pm-9.10pm. Should have been BT really but we didn't want to retire to our room so early as the disco was just getting going - a bit selfish? Probably. He then woke up and lasted another 1.5hrs dancing with a 4yo girl at the disco, eating cake and drinking water.
It was 11pm by the time we got him back to the room and asleep so his latest BT ever. He did have 2x NWs but I think that was actually because he developed a cold and chest infection. He just asked for his nose to be wiped and went straight back to sleep both times within a few minutes. Then he was up at 8.15am, probably disturbed by DH and I getting showered.
Today he only lasted <3hrs for his first A time and then he slept the 2hr car journey home and was asleep tonight by 7pm. He was a little miserable this afternoon but I think that is in no small part due to being sick. He has antibiotics for the chest infection now.
So all in all, a success!   Not the naps I planned but it is what worked on the day. Everyone there loved him and was saying how well behaved he was so I can't complain at all.
Thanks for your help ladies.  

[sianie]

Glad it went well Ali....sounds like you all had a great time! 

[firsttimemummy]

Glad it went well - it's funny that no matter how well you plan, things always go differently, but usually it all works out well. Glad you all had a nice time )