BEGINING TO GET ANXIOUS

[kitty30]

I am in need of advice.

DD2 has always been a poor eater.  She was diagnosed with silent reflux at 8 weeks and has since been medicated taking Losec.  She seems much more comfortable and things are either resolved or the medication is effective.  She has never drank amazingly her average oz per feed being 4.5.  6 being the best.  She is small but in all ways, length, and weight and has very petite features.

I do think she has a small appetite.  We introduced solids at 5.5 months.  It has been a slow and gradual process but we were doing ok.  Each meal about 2-3oz.  We have mixed fed finger foods and spoon feeds.  She has never shown great gusto for the spoon and a small amount of cajoling has always been required to get her going.  She is a slow eater and often needs a small break during meal, not dissimilar to the way she drinks.

Anyway of late things have deteriorated and amplified by a nasty stomach bug.  Now she cries when sat in high chair.  Turns her head away, hits spoon and resists opening her mouth.  Sometimes if you can get a little bit in and she decides she likes the taste she will open willingly for another few mouth fulls.  However today she ate a small bit at breakfast and outright refused lunch....had a melt down.  The finger foods are not much better.  She just plays and rarely puts in her mouth.  If you put some broccoli and a toy side by side the toy always wins and ends up straight away in her mouth.

I have tried giving her lunch before her bottle she (she is 8+ months) hoping that she is hungry but with no improvement.  She opens willingly for yoghurt and some puréed fruits but really that is it.  Savoury stuff is a complete nightmare.

I am seriously getting worried as her behaviour is becoming more obvious.  I have tried distraction, praise etc. but am at a loss.  I am so worried that we are going down the aversion road and I need to claw my way back up.  In addition lo only weighs 14.5lb.  I no longer worry about her weight but I do worry about her nutrition, and truth be told I cannot see her sleeping any better if she is not getting the caliories.

Any ideas advice encouragement please.

Thanks for listening.

[Texomamama]

kitty,

((HUGS))......Long time, no see.  Anyway, I just want to say that there may very well be nothing 'wrong' here, but I am sure you know that.  One thing that creeps up as a possibility is teething.  Yeterday, my 8 mo got her first tooth.  She has been taking only 4 oz in each bottle for the past 3 days (she usually has 7 oz).  So, I am assuming that is what it is with her.  Maybe your LO is also teething?  Also, I am sure you have realized that she might be picking up on the tension that feeding time brings out in you.  I know that merely telling you to relax sounds a bit patronizing, and I am not trying to come across that way, but it is possible the activity of feeding is causing anxiety in you that is rubbing off on her.  Maybe you can take a few steps back and have someone else feed her? 

DD1 has always been tiny.  At 8 mo, she was also drinking only about 6 oz, ate about 3-4 oz of solids and weighed only around 15 lbs.  She turned out ok (but is still quite thin), so I don't worry quite as much about DD2.  Maybe you had the opposite experience with your first, and now this is where your worry is setting in because it is new to you, kwim?

[~inbalance~]

I agree with what pp has said.  Teething really could be playing a role.  Also if she is still recovering from her stomach bug she might not be feeling quite up to eating just yet.

How much milk is she getting in total?

Some (((hugs))) from one mom of a picky eater to another, it is hard but really try not to get stressed about it because you do not want her to associate negative feelings with eating.  Try to stay relaxed and offer.  At this point I would offer more finger foods and things she can do herself.  Even if she doesn't eat them, she will feel better knowing she has the freedom to touch and put whatever she wants in her mouth. 

Abandon the spoon if she will not take it.  It is just a frustrating endeavor for you and her.  My DS2 was very much the same, he would smack it right out of my hand.  I still to this day cannot offer him anything, he has to do it himself.

Here is another link for more reassurance:  http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=182686.0

Remember if you are really worried, don't hesitate to talk to her doctor or even a nutritionist or naturopath, they can all help suggest new things to try or supplementation if you're worried she's not getting enough of the right stuff.

More hugs, we just came back from the doctor today and my DS2 only weights a mere 19lbs (not even really) at a year.  It's hard when they are tiny but weight is not the only indication of their health. 

[kitty30]

Thankyou girls.

I guess I know the theory it is just sometimes so hard to follow it.  It is just so frustrating and so little help as how to deal with it.  She probably is not 100% and must be teething on some level though nothing obvious.  Im not really worried about the weight anymore its more her reaction to food.  If I put finger food down she just avoids it.  As for the spoon.....well that reaction is equally bad. 

She drinks about 18oz a day.  She has never been a great drinker either.

I am wondering wether to stop solids altogether for a couple of days but I really do not know if that will help.  I managed to get her to take a few spoons of dinner last night but there was serious distraction involved and I am not sure that is constructive either.  She does not even open her mouth initially to even see what is on offer.  This morning she out right refused breakfast and this has always been her best meal.

I am in Ireland and it is so hard to get professional help and it be good help.

Once again thanks for listening.

[~inbalance~]

I think the best approach with possible aversions is to just offer and let her play with it.  Touch, taste, smell, whatever she wants to do.  DON'T force.  Kinda like putting it in front on her and saying "there you go, do what you want", and try not to watch her eat.  Keep busy, but keep an eye on her.  One BWer mom here has dealt with aversions and that is basically what the feeding team told her for her son, it's mostly about food play.

More hugs, I do know all about how in theory it sounds easy to stay relaxed but in reality it's very hard. 

[Bobcat]

Hi.  Hope things have improved.  My 6 1/2 month old started his solids great at 5 months and then a few weeks ago went completely off them.  Started spitting everything out, even stuff he liked previously.  I kept offering and after about 2 weeks he just started eating again - so there is hope.  I add a little pear to all his veg to make it more palatable and use the Annabel Karmel recipes that mix fruit and veg.

It must be a west of Ireland thing!

[kitty30]

Hi Bobcat.  Where are you? 
We have had a better week this week so I am silently hopeful.  Im trying to increase her finger foods as I sense a miss independent streak!

We were sent to a dietician.  You would think this a great help.............Well I was told I need to get her eating more....I said it is not like I do not try so did she have any suggestions.  She told me my child must have behavioural issues around food.  I was so close to screaming!!!!  She was a wee thing and obviously has no experience with babes!!!  Best bit go back for follow up when she 15 MONTHS!!!  Lets hope she does not starve in the mean-time.  So glad this is not my first! 

Oh yeah she said need to get her eating more than potato.... I mean I know the Irish like spuds but she eats a little pasta couscous and rice...like are these part of the potato family too!!!

Sorry for the rant.  Hope things still going well for you.

[Texomamama]

Oh, the Dietitian told you to "get her to eat more"?  No kidding....Isn't that why you went to that  her in the first place?  I hope she gave you some suggestions on how to do that.  As to your LO's "behavioural issues" towards food, at this stage your baby is just learning what food IS.  To project that she has some issues with it at this early stage is quite an assumption.

I feel for you for all these issues you seem to have with your healthcare 'experts'.  Back in the Fall, I was really close to sending you a PM and asking for your address so I could ship you some Zantac since you seem to have to sign your life away to procure any there, when all it takes over here is a 5 minute phone call to the pediatrician.

BTW, are you still giving your LO the Meds?  I have cut down to once a day insread of twice and see no difference.  I am about to stop altogether.

[jakobsmommy]

neither of my 2 boys EVER drank more than 6 0z.

have a look on the baby led weaning thread and try not to worry, she will just pick up on it and think meal times are times to be anxious.  try several small 'meals' and expect her (and everything around her) to get in a mess. 

good luck x

[Bobcat]

Hi Kitty30.  I'm in Galway too, moving to Cork shortly though!

[julesdq]

hugs to you :-) it's tough!!
just to say that when my little one was getting fed up of her high chair, I fed her on my lap or sat with her on the floor for a few days then when I put her back in the high chair she was ok. I still feed her on my occassionally so that she doesn't get tired of her high chair
xx

[kitty30]

Thanks all you fabulous ladies.

Well things slowly improving.  Still holding my breath though.  I have taken a few steps back and removed the high chair.  Actually fed her on my lap out of the kitchen altogether.  I also removed the 11 am bottle temporarily to make sure she was hungry.  With lots of distraction she would take a couple of spoons and I think she has gradually learnt that the spoon is not that bad.  The following week I re-introduced the high chair for one meal a day all went well.  We are now having all meals in her high chair in the kitchen with no more screaming fits. YIPPIE.  I am so delighted.  She has finger food at each meal and this seems to make her take the spoon more contented.  She seems to be eating a bit more but I try not to get too stuck on the amount as long as the experience for her is calm and not negative.  Here is hoping I have not jinxed myself now.

On a side note due to spoon refusal we had to stop her reflux meds temporarily and guess what nearly 2 weeks off meds and there has been no negative change.  We were planning to do this soonish anyhow but was always fearful what it may have brought so in some ways there has been a very positive outcome to this tale.

Texommamma:  thanks so much for your time.  I hope you guys are doing well.  Did you do the drugs wean yet?  The system here is unbelievably frustrating.  Everything takes so long and it really is luck who happen to see as to the outcome.  And I work in that system!!!!  Tha'ts what kills me the most. 

Bobcat:  Wish you luck in your new home......well if its good enough for the Queen!!!!! 

[Texomamama]

We are doing well here   I am definately in the last throws of the meds.  I only give them to her once a day now (at night) and I will probably stop that very soon.  I have also not noticed no negative change, except perhaps a bit more spitting up and overall 'wetness' around her mouth and clothes than usual.  Of course, she is teething, so it could just be drool.

DD2 is such a bigger eater than DD1.  In fact, sometimes we use a little competition to try and encourage DD1 to eat.  Earlier this week, DH took a piece of chicken off DD1's plate and gave it to DD2, so DD1 shoved the other 4 pieces in her mouth at once (of course, it was too much for her to swallow, so she had to spit it out), but I do have a lot of conversations with DD1 along the lines of "Well, if you aren't going to eat X, then maybe your sister wants it"....