What defines when a little one is CIO? Many eyes on this please.x.

[Truly Blessed]

Hello Everyone,

My fellow BW friend and I have a really important query for you all as the title states above. Neither of us agree with CIO (of course as we're fellow BW  ) BUT: we have concerns. Both of our DS's react unfavourably when EW and EW from naps when we intervene. Our LO's become more frustrated and having respectively tried PU/PD, WI/WO, ssh pat and all the other recommended intervention tactics often they have a negative effect. My DS is 16 months and her DS is 9 months. It's not to say that the above is always the case but when it is we fear that we have been intervening too early with fear of letting our LO's CIO.

I have found very recently, and especially today in fact that having left my DS to it instead of going in to console him, he has gone back over in 5 minutes. This happened this morning AND for his 1 nap of the day today which is the first time EVER he has gone back over when waking early from a nap. So this tells me as his Mammy I did the right thing  . I know his cries really well at this stage especially his 'I need you Mummy' sobbing cry, but often as I'm sure you all know our LO's can sound heart broken without it being that particular cry but really it's just tired frustration. How can we be sure we're not indulging in a tad 'poor baby syndrome' without allowing our LO's to be unecessarily upset  ???Sorry if I sound like I'm answering my own questions here  but what we really want to clarify is how long is it okay to try and let a little one self soothe and settle (who is already able to do so) when they are crying, if you believe them to be just tired and not desperate for you to help 

I'm sure we're not the only 2 Mammy's who have agonised over this situation. We would really appreciate it if you could all give us the benefit of your experience.

Cheers my Dears 

x.

[Shiv52]

but what we really want to clarify is how long is it okay to try and let a little one self soothe and settle (who is already able to do so) when they are crying, if you believe them to be just tired and not desperate for you to help

There is no set time for when you intervene.  As you have pointed out its to do with the cry.  If it is a 'I need you now' cry you go right in.  If its a 'oh no i have woken up and i am so tired and i want to be asleep' cry then its fine to hold back and let them try and work it out on their own.  If you don't hear them settling and the cry changes and becomes an 'I need you' then you go on.  Often you can go in too quick and interupt them trying to work it out and settle. 

Often though waking early from naps and EWs are routine related so often a routine tweak is in order to help them sleep more soundly without OT wakenings IYKWIM?

[Truly Blessed]

Thank you 

Yes, we are both currently in the middle of loooong tweaking. My DS has just got back into his 1 nap routine after illness and my friend is still fighting a long battle with EW's and OT.

x.

[Shiv52]

{{{hugs to you both}}}

Have you threads?  Do you need more eyes?

[clairebear79]

That's not my thread Vicki!!!!!  Its this one:

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=210039.0

Claire.x

[Truly Blessed]

Baby brain apologises Hon  . Previous post removed.x.

[LifeGiver]

I actually had the same question some time ago.
And I wasn't really sure about her cries to fall asleep as well. Of course my case is all different because we've been out of home for more than 2 months, loads of environment changes so I wouldn't really expect her to fall asleep on her own, but I found out that sometimes it was better to leave her there, she'd whimper a while and fall asleep. Of course if she cried hysterically I'd go in (that's what happened this morning), but I'd normally leave her there for some minutes to see if she'd settles. Sometimes she'd just have a peak cry and then fall asleep, sometimes she'd whimper on and off for more than 5 minutes, then fall asleep...

It's really about hearing your LO's cry, I think (and tweaking the routine as the other ladies said above! )
HTH

[fireredjewel]

fwiw, i think you did the right thing!
My DD at 5mo was having NWs/EWs with a *tiny* bit of crying/grizzling and we discovered if we went in, it made it worse! gah! At 20mo now, she has the very very rare NW where she cries hysterically (nightmare?) for a minute or so, then goes back to sleep (if she even woke up...). We know there's a difference - in her short life she's actually 'needed' our help twice or three times, one being this weekend where she tried 3 times to go back to sleep, but her cries turned into a desperate 'i need you' - and when we went in to help her, it turned out she had a fever & was of course really really upset/hot/uncomfortable. Once we'd cuddled and medicated, she ASKED to get back in her sleeping bag and wanted to get back to 'seep' in her 'cot'.

HTH

[Truly Blessed]

Hi Ladies,

4 mornings of letting Sam work it out for himself 5 minutes of fussing/crying) and he has always gone back to sleep and this morning didn't EW at all. He also is lying in his cot happily a lot longer after his is awake.

x.

[LifeGiver]

pop the champaign! yay!!

You'll know when he really need you