Author Topic: Am I giving my fussy boy too much choice? x.  (Read 1200 times)

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Offline Truly Blessed

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Am I giving my fussy boy too much choice? x.
« on: May 30, 2011, 18:09:59 pm »
Hi (again) Everyone,

I'm really a bit stressed about my DS's current food habits. This is my 2nd post, if you don't count the handy link ( Dr Sears) post. So to recap, as I wrote before, my 16 month old DS had always been a fantastic eater since weaning, there was very little he would refuse untill around 6 weeks ago. Now he will eat very little from the spoon, although I'm teaching him to feed himself and he enjoys that, but only yoghurt. He usually eats a good breakfast of porridge, which he allows me to give him. But almost everything else is sweet. His vegetable intake has gone down to zero  :'( and this worries me greatly, although he inhales all fruit and it's NEVER refused. I have tried dozens of new finger foods, most of which he refuses to even try. I have made it fun, by making building blocks out of sausages and cheese etc but most of it ends up on the floor. I have tried to chill out (and managed somewhat) as I know it's a common phase but my main concern is whether I am giving him too  much choice. Some advice says to allow them to eat what he wants when he will, but my Stepsister says her son Ethan was exactly the same and if he refused his food and threw it she would only give him back what he first had, and eventually he started eating it  :-\  I must admit I have been a conveyor belt of choice, and when one thing goes on the floor he gets another and usually he arrives at his favourites, but I have just spent 3 weeks getting him back on his 1 nap schedule after illness and I don't want him to wake from his nap, or in the morning from hunger. He still has 6 oz bottles am and pm and a 2 oz with water before his nap. Does his milk need dropping? I worry that will only make him hungry.

Also: he is teething, 3 molars and now 2 incisors bulging, so I strongly suspect it's related. I have him on a multivitamin with cod liver oil daily as a security blanket but I really feel a terrible faliure as his Mammy right now..I should be doing better  :(.

Pleeeeease tell me your experiences. Do I ride it out? or do I take the bull by the horns and structure his meals and if he doesn't eat them that's his choice  :'(  ??? He is an excellent weight, well covered and not dropping, and I know he won't starve himself, but I'm really conflicted at which way to go now.

I await your replies with great hope of experience and wisdom.

Thank you

xxx.



Offline clazzat

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Re: Am I giving my fussy boy too much choice? x.
« Reply #1 on: May 30, 2011, 19:06:20 pm »
When we went through this with dd1, we stayed strong and didn't give her alternatives - she is still fussier than she once was, but we definitely came out the other side in one piece!  If you keep giving him alternatives, particularly if you are offering him sweet treats in order to tempt him, he will learn that there is no point in eating the first thing because something better will come along.

My approach was to make sure that she was getting the meals that I knew she would eat often throughout the week so that she wouldn't go too hungry, but also to carry on with meals that she used to eat or I wanted her to eat.  If she didn't want it then she got down from the table, no argument, no fuss and no alternative.  By 16 months he won't wake up early from hunger - and as he eats a good breakfast then he can make up for the lost meal then.

This doesn't work for everyone, but I found that we were better if we had regular snacks built into the day.

Offline Truly Blessed

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Re: Am I giving my fussy boy too much choice? x.
« Reply #2 on: May 30, 2011, 19:21:32 pm »
Thank you Hon,

The main problem is he won't eat the things I know he likes (or used to like) so savoury is really going down the pan. I think I'm inadvertantly feeding a sweet tooth. I am going to give him a small snack every 2 hours to keep his energy levels up and only offer one meal alternative at set meal times, I'll stick to the veg and meat he always liked previously, as I think introducing new foods is too much right now, as I can't know if he likes it or not  ::). As he also has 18 oz of milk a day, I think he'll be okay..

What do you think  ???

x.



Offline deb

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Re: Am I giving my fussy boy too much choice? x.
« Reply #3 on: May 30, 2011, 19:52:40 pm »
I'd stick it out and stick with the savories. If you can get a bit of it on your finger, will he lick it? Will he take the food once he tastes it?

Offline Truly Blessed

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Re: Am I giving my fussy boy too much choice? x.
« Reply #4 on: May 31, 2011, 06:12:44 am »
Hi Deb,

Sometimes I can get a touch of something he likes in his mouth before he's aware  ::) then when he realises it's nice he'll take it. That's the most frustrating thing.

Today I start a structured day. At meal times he'll be offered once choice. If he throws it I'm going to take him out of the highchair. But as he is quite newly walking/running I'm going to offer small snacks every 2 hours to keep his energy levels steady and stop him getting grumpy and tired. Wish me luck  :P.x.



Offline deb

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Re: Am I giving my fussy boy too much choice? x.
« Reply #5 on: May 31, 2011, 10:43:21 am »
Natalie always did well with reverse psychology. We would literally say, "Don't you eat that!" and she would give us a mischievous grin and stick it right into her mouth, little monkey. :D  Now she's 6YO she still asks us to play that game once in a while and she makes a HUGE dramatic production out of it, so I assume she found it a positive experience. LOL But making it seem forbidden seemed to be a key with that one. ::)