I started the E.A.S.Y. routine with my daughter 3 days ago (3 weeks 5 days old) and I'm feeling very lost. Before we began we had absolutely no routine and it was really affecting her, her older sister and us as parents. Someone had bought me the book when I was pregnant, but didn't think I would need it b/c I never had these issues with my first. Here's what we've been doing- Eat every 3 hours, activity (what little I can get in), and anywhere from 20 minutes to over and hour to get soothed enough for me to place her in her crib. My problems are:
1. Whenever she gets up for her feed, she seems as though she is still very tired. I have to try to keep her awake toward the end of her feeding, so she won't fall right asleep. I know I'm supposed to get activity in at this point, so I change her diaper, let her look around, attempt tummy time, etc. and then at the first yawn I slowly transition into her room. I'm afraid she's not getting enough activity. It's usually only 30 minutes after she wakes that it seems she ready to go back down (she's a quick eater). Do I try to listen to her cues or keep her up? I don't want to hold her back by constantly putting her to sleep if she should be awake, but I'm terrified to miss her window and throw the whole day off. I've heard of people who keep their little babies up for several hours at a time.
2. Our transition to sleep is to go in to her room where lights are dim and white noise on, then I swaddle, sing or quietly talk to her just enough that she doesn't get too upset (doesn't take long), turn off the light and begin the shush/pat. She fights it pretty hard at first, but once I get her calmed down enough I've found she likes if I just pat and apply pressure to her body. The problem is it can take me anywhere from 30 minutes to over an hour (the longer I keep her awake for activity, the longer it takes to fall asleep) to get her to a point where I can lay her in her crib and she doesn't scream and we have to start all over. Mind you, she was sleeping in her bouncy seat in her crib until today and she has actually been doing fine (after I placed blankets under her sheet to make a wedge and prop her up). She sleeps fine once she's down. Makes a lot of noise, but seems to put herself back to sleep fairly well. Nighttime sleep has been good as well, only waking up once (knock on wood) a night.
3. I feel like I don't have any time to spend with my 2 1/2 year old because I'm constantly shipping her off to grandma's, so we can work on the routine. Is this normal? Will we ever get to leave my house again?

I had reflux problems with my first, so she was a handful, but I don't ever remember sleep being this difficult. Though we did do the cry it out method and it worked wonderfully, but I'm trying to avoid it this time around.
Sorry so long winded, but I just want a happy baby and my happy family back!
Stacie