am i doing the right thing? 15mo

[Josie21]

Hi.
I previously posted "desperate for help" about my 15mo boy twin.
I am delighted to say I used WIWO as encouraged and it worked very well.
However,... The last 3 nights, DS has been waking and crying. The first night just the once, but last night at 11.45pm, 12.30am and 2.05am.
I have not gone in and he has resettled himself (there is quiet) in 5, 5 & 2 mins respectively.
I didn't go in because, while doing WIWO, the one time I went in (I just found it hard not to that first time), he really got upset and I feel I really am best to give him time/space to resettle himself.
However, waking 3x is concerning me. Does he really need me & is just giving up (a horrible thought). He does have a big tooth cutting - I can feel a little spike (even though he only has 4 at the front, not 6).
I guess I am after some reassurance that I'm not damaging his trust by not going in.
Thanks.
Jo
Xxxx

[Tweakster]

Hi there, this is where you need to distinguish between whether he 'needs you' or just 'wants you'.  It sounds like if he's teething there isn't anything wrong with going in and reassuring him.  It's not uncommon (in fact it's VERY common) for sleep to regress when LO is teething or in discomfort.  If he's resettling then you don't need to go in.  He's finding his own way, which is what you are aiming for.  So I think you need to listen to the cries rather than the length of time he's doing it for IYSWIM.

Are you medicating for the pain?

[~inbalance~]

It does sound like the NWings are teething/discomfort related and that if he needs you then it's ok to go in and reassure him.  Still wait to see if he settles himself, but if he is upset then definitely go in.  Maybe try pain meds before bed to help him sleep through the discomfort.  I have found with DS2 (13mos) that if I give the meds before bed he will be able to settle himself, but if I don't give them or wait until he wakes, then it is often too late and we have several NWings where he is harder to settle.

[Josie21]

Thanks ladies.
It has really helped reading those comments.
I have been giving paracetamol at 6.40pm & in cot between 7pm (ideally) and 7.15pm. His has been great getting to sleep (I agree about giving the meds for bed) - it seems around midnight that the NWs are starting. I guess the dose may have worn off & discomfort is waking him?
Interestingly enough, I'm sitting next to his room having put him into his cot at 7.05pm. At 7.09pm he started to cry but by 7.11pm it had stopped. I feel that tells me that its not pain (I also put anbesol liquid on at 6.45pm & a bit of Dentinox just before I put him in his cot, so feel the cry can't be pain(?), it must be him protesting and wanting a cuddle.
We are v close. He is a real mummys boy and we have a lovely story, bottle then prayers & cuddle/kisses before I put him in his cot and say his sleep phrase. Maybe he just wants more (I know I do! )?
The reason I am hanging back is that, when I tried WIWO, the first night, I went back in & ended up abandoning WIWO as he was so upset. It seems, if I just give him a few minutes to resettle, he does so infinitely better than me going in. The time I did go in, he lost the plot when I tried to lay him down and, having felt I then had to pick him up, had a meltdown when I tried to put him back in his bed. Its like I was confusing him by going in.
I do feel I should have stayed out every time so far but I know that 1st disaster has put me off going in without a very good reason to do so! Maybe it did me a favour, iykwim?
I feel that, as you say, wendy, he's finding his way and I need to be strong & consistent. When he wakes, we have a wonderful cuddle & he holds me tight round the neck & is all smiles in the morning.
Do they normally go through a wee protest after initially accepting you leaving the room?
Jo
Xxxx

[~inbalance~]

I'm not sure what the equivalents are over the ocean, but I find that meds like acetaminaphin (tylenol) over here wear off quicker, and ibuprofen (advil) work much longer.  The first only lasts about 4hrs, and the second up to 8hrs.  So if you are using something like tylenol then it very well could be worn off by the time he is waking. 

[Josie21]

Yes, Paracetamol.
I will try Ibuprofen next time.
Thanks.
Xxxx

[Josie21]

A wee update...
After that little grizzle when I put him down, DS slept til 7.10am without a peep.
My DD woke at 1am. DH have her some Ibuprofen and she was asleep within 10mins. She woke at 6am then seemed to settle back to sleep til 7am.
I call this a GREAT night!
Thanks.
Jo
Xxxx

[~inbalance~]

Excellent!  Hope it continues!