9 month old 1.5hr am nap 30 min pm nap...what am i doing wrong?!

[ZacsMumme]

what does focus on the short nap mean?

It means work on trying to get this nap longer. So by gently increasing the A time before it if you can.

what can I try to do to make this nap longer?

for us it is picking up DS and rocking till he drifts off again, or shh/patting in the cot. We generally soothe him back to sleep. That is just what works for us. 

if its OT with 3 hrs A time do I shorten this? and try working it slower?

Yes. You only should try to increase a little bit at a time or your LO will get OT. (see my post above)

[lily528]

I am not even sure what worked anymore.  I don't seem to be getting conflicting advice though...beauty of the baby whisperer I guess. I know it works...I just can't seem to find the right version of it for my dd...when she was younger I was able to extend naps..she is protests a lot more now and stands up etc...if I try to lay her down when she wakes from a nap early she FLIPS OUT...maybe it IS me though..maybe I am giving in too easily and to persisting enough...as I said I am very much an instant gratification kind of person...this clearly isn't a situation that is going to go that way.  I will def post my EASY tomorrow...would love a little hand holding with that...as for watching her with the second nap i swear she almost never seems tired after the first nap...my mom always says that to me when i drop her off and say she needs to nap soon..."she doesn't SEEM tired"  drives me nuts LOL  I just say "well she needs to nap" lol I dunno...what should I do with the nw-ings?  just get through them til i figure the naps out or should i work on them and hope the naps fix themselves?  which is better to start with?

[lily528]

I just am not sure what to do for her to make her go back to sleep...I suppose for starters I need to watch her more closely...try to get in there sooner...just often when she sees me she wants me and thats that...that goes all day long...i can hardly step away from her without her bugging out.  so when i come in all she wants is for me to pick her up...but even when I do that she still fusses and then starts pushing on me and her head falls back and she fusses and cries...i know its more that she is mad she is up almost...just wish I could help her back to sleep somehow..maybe grab her and try nursing as soon as she stirs?  sigh i dunno...I'll have to experiment I guess

[ZacsMumme]

I think if you fix your naps the NW will ease. When I say fix I just mean get into a routine where the your LO is having a good afternoon nap and not going to be OT. Usually NW before midnight are OT (for us anyway)

Have you thought about trying Wake to Sleep? If she is stirring at 30 mins then maybe try around the 21-23min mark. I know what you mean about when they see you...its all over when DS sees me too unless he is really tired.If you leave her at 30 mins does she resettle or just cry/call out for you? Or do you always go in straight away.

[lily528]

I don't always go in straight away....sometimes I give her a few minutes but I pretty much figure she's not going to settle...she usually ends up crying. one time she DID go back to sleep and I was stunned!  She ALWAYS wakes before midnight...it's almost like clock work...usually around 10pm..what should I do with nw for now? just nurse back to sleep like i've been doing?

[ZacsMumme]

I guess you have two issues here. One is a props issue...where your breast is probably soothing your DD back to sleep. The other is getting your A time sorted to get a good arvo nap.

If you are going to break the feeding to sleep accn you will have to do some sleep training. I am no expert on this so you will probably be best to head to the props board for some advice possibly. But you may want to tackle 1 beast at a time if you find it stressful

Sorry I missed that you were feeding to sleep each NW...these may not stop if you get your routine sorted for naps as your DD may rely on the breast to settle at her partial wakenings. ((HUGS)) it will get better x

[lily528]

Wow I guess I never considered it a prop because she self settles herself to sleep initially.  I assumed that's what a night feeding was really.  Since birth I nursed her for nw which she always fell back to sleep during.  Guess I will checkout props. Wow having to post on all these boards...sigh feel like I truly don't know what I am doing. Which is just embarrassing

[ZacsMumme]

dot be silly...I never fed my DS to sleep ever! Now at 7 months old with his teething here I am BF him to sleep for his naps...that is embarrassing! There is no right and wrong. x

[*Kara*]

Ladies!  DO NOT FEEL THAT YOU ARE DOING ANYTHING WRONG!  Things change with these little beings and we sometimes have to run with whatever is working at the time.  No 30 year old needs to be BF'd to sleep and most don't need mom to help them nap either.  When things are going to the birds, try to think of the long term... this too shall pass, my friend.  And, as horrific as it is in the moment, it will fade into memory and we won't really recall how consuming it was (just like labour and delivery!).

At 3 months, DD was put to bed awake every single night, never had issues returning to sleep after a feed... ya know what?!  I have to rock her to sleep now.  She is learning so many new things that she simply cannot calm herself down enough to drift off anymore.  I don't rock her until she is completely out, but I do wait for her breathing to slow down to know that she has relaxed.  If I put her down straight away, she rolls around and is horrendously tired, but is begging for sleep... she just can't shut her brain off right now.  So, since she needs me a little more, I am there for her.

Melissa - I would stop the night feeding, she is certainly old enough to stop night feeds.  They are simply comfort to help her get back to sleep.  We will help you get through teaching her to fall back to sleep on her own.  This really sounds like she has forgotten how to self soothe when she wakes... both in the middle of a nap and during the night.  It could also be teething or simply tied to development.  Both physical and psychological growth   Don't despair, we will help you out

I would honestly just start to AP her whenever she needs it for naps/bedtime etc, to get her out of the OT loop.  A few days should make a world of difference!  Then we will look at your EASY and see what we can suggest   Be sure to include what she eats/when as well as a small description of what she does during each A time

BIG HUGS!

[Smurfette]

Ladies!  DO NOT FEEL THAT YOU ARE DOING ANYTHING WRONG!  Things change with these little beings and we sometimes have to run with whatever is working at the time.

Amen to that sister!

Lily, the fact that you are on here, asking for advice, is awesome and shows that you know enough to understand that she needs your help. You rock.

Besides, it's hard to really 'know' what we're doing all the time, b/c they change SO often.  
Hang in there!

[lily528]

Well with no rhyme or reason that I can see...my little Ava slept through the night!!!! Only the 2nd time she has ever done that.  The First time was a month ago. I wonder why. As you know she only got 1 hr and 20 mins TOTAL of day sleep yesterday.  I expected an awful night of OT waking.   Is it possible this could be 2-1?  She is only 9 1/2 mos though. She was asleep by about 6:30 or so last night. I did give her some tylenol which I don't normally do but wondered if it would help if it is in fact teething. I also rubbed her gums which I have done from time to time.

[lily528]

Sorry didn't mean to hit post yet lol. So we have started our day after a night of a NO wakings as I said. So as discussed last night I will post our day and look to see if you all have any advice for me
So far...

Woke@  5:50 (slept 11 HRs straight ...yay)
I waited til 6 to goto her (not trying to be greedy but not looking to encourage an ew)
6:00 BF (11 mins)

(Now enjoying some A time with floor play and her toys..will post as the day progresses)

[lily528]

Sigh so...

5:50 wake up
6:00 go in and nurse
6:30-7 floor play
7:00 brkfst 3.5 oz apple mango rice cereal mixed
7:30-8:15 play with tupperware move around in walker. Be held while mommy vacuums more floor play get dressed diaper change yawning and rubbing eyes
8:15 lay in crib after lullaby 2 hr 25 min A time but was tryieto follow her cues :/)
8:30 asleep
9:05 wake up (ugh) tried rubbing her back...no go
did. P.d. for 20 mins. Screamed the whole time
9:30 retrieved her
9:35 nursed 25 mins earlier than normal feed at 4hrs because I couldn't get her to calm down :/ 

Now what?!

[Smurfette]

Congrats on her STTN!!

I think just do what you need to do to get through the day and then try something different tomorrow.

Just as an FYI my DD will often rub eyes and/or yawn early but if I follow her cues I get short naps too. I find she will yawn when I start to push her A times a bit and/or with teething. Teething for sure makes her more tired but not tired enough to sleep long if I put her down too early.

[lily528]

Gotcha so should I try for 3 hr A time before pm nap or less due to short am nap?