major food refusal, 16mth old, please help :(

[Edesanja]

Eloise, I have had no professional advice on it, so it's just my googling skills with no educated knowledge. But I found a number of articles like this one (and they're talking about older people esp women taking calcium for osteoparosis different scenario too) http://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/wellbeing/3974840/Calcium-supplements-raise-heart-risk

It just gave me reason enough to want to check it out before going that route if we need to. Hopefully we can do this danged dairy trail again soon though!

[Mom to M&M]

My DS can't have cow's milk and had stopped drinking milk anyway once we took his bottle away. He gets some calcium from pizza with goat's cheese and the occasional grilled cheese with goat's cheese but not enough - his ND had highly recommended a liquid ionic calcium concentrate from New Beginnings and we've been using it successfully for at least 4-6 weeks now...

[Shiv52]

shivi - so sorry i cant remember your first name, it's been a while 
- what strategies do you recommend for fussy eaters in terms of how much new food to present at a time, how often, and alongside how many accepted foods??

Hello!  I would probably work on a few foods but not so many that he isn't seeing them regularly enough IYKWIM.  So maybe 8-10.  Enough so he sees them a few times a week I guess.  I would present them alongside foods he already eats and not really make a big deal of it the first few times. 

We had alot of success doing a gradual approach.  So first few times present the new food and mention it but no pressure to do anything other than tolerate it being on his plate.  You can do lots of 'oh this is cauliflower, mummy loves this, yum yum' and then move on.  So you've addressed its there but thats it.  Keeping it positive. 

Then after a few times of presenting it we moved to exploring it....so encouraging the LO to touch it, smell it, lift it. 

Then move to licking it, biting it then eating a bit.

It really does depend how much you want to push things or how a LO will respond.  Some LOs start to try things themselves after a few presentations.  Other refuse and are happy enough as they know they can jsut go ahead and eat their other foods IYKWIM.  Once kiddies are a bit older we would do 'first you need to try x, then you have the rest of your meal' but that would be for VERY picky eaters who are cutting back on foods they will eat and it seems like you are making good progress so I don't think that would be appropriate at this stage!

Once you are having success with new foods start increasing the amount and reducing the amounts of preferred foods slightly.  And then you encourage the LO to eat what is on the plate before getting more of the preferred food. 

I am absolutely no use on the intolerances front and worked with LOs who didn't have those issues so doing a first-then approach with LOs who have eating issues seems a bit much IYKWIM but definately working on touching/licking/biting then increasing amounts of the new food before more of a preferred food would work.

Plus flipping teeth play havoc!  And really in my experience so long as your LO doesn't see you scuttling around cooking up new foods after refusing what you've made then that is most of the battle.  I do think LOs learn to eat what is offered and try new things if they don't think they can bargain for something better.  And you are doing that so i do think you'll get there sooner rather than later. 

I'll keep thinking!

Siobhan xx

[huntersmummyinoz]

siobhan, i could kiss you, lol!! thankyou thankyou thankyou, some great strategies. will start working on some more of those. actually, i realised today that he will now tolerate the new foods being on his tray, whereas when this all started, he would throw it off, so i guess that is a step forward in itself too. i have also been getting him to feed me some of the foods he wont eat at the end of the meal or helping me put them back on his plate - the idea being getting him to touch them. is that worthwhile or not? (i guess i worry about teaching him some underlying message like only mummy eats that, or turning it into a game, or am i overthinking this??)

jenny, dietician said his calcium is fine atm with 2 milk feeds, so long as he has yoghurt and cheese most days too. however, if we cant keep cheese in there, then he will be a bit short, as although there is calcium in some of his foods, they are all quite low (as cant eat the high calcium ones as too high in sals) or he is only have tiny amounts. she said i could add another yoghurt, but there's no way i'm adding more of a food he LOVES while he is being so fussy as i think he will just hold out for that. any luck on neocate advanced for J? does he eat many high calcium foods?
she also said that unless his range of fruit and veg can be increased, then if he goes on cows milk, then we'll need to look at a multivitamin. (he is still on mostly low salicylate fruit and veg, and 3 tbs moderates plus one extra serve moderates every second day).
on the rice pasta issue. we used to do the same, held pasta or chips til the end of the meal after he'd eaten some of his other food. but he started to just look to the kitchen expecting it when he didnt like what was on his plate. for now we've decided, if it's on the menu, then he gets it upfront, but i am limiting the amount to encourage him not to fill up on just one thing.

 

[EloysH]

siobhan, i could kiss you,

LOL!

actually, i realised today that he will now tolerate the new foods being on his tray, whereas when this all started, he would throw it off, so i guess that is a step forward in itself too.

 Same for us too, I'm glad you took the time to spell all that out.  I realised that I am inadvertendly doing what you advised Kirry to expand Kais diet but not conciously KWIM?
Yay Kingston! I guess eating new foods  is a sum of baby steps!

[Truly Blessed]

Please try not to worry too  much Hon. It is a phase and it will pass. I'm speaking from experience. DS won't starve. Just allow him what he will eat and stick to his favourites. You will have plenty of time to introduce new foods and get him back on track IMHO. The molars really bother them with regards to food, they certainly did our DS  . He wouldn;t allow tooth brushing either, we had to use a muslin cloth for a few days and do the best we could. Sending you Hugs and sympathy.x.

[hrk]

Then move to licking it, biting it then eating a bit.

That reminds me that the ot had even mentioned encouraging H to give his food a kiss.  That may be another thing to keep up your sleeve.

For some children it takes many more times of seeing the food.  (As I was reading through some things, I saw that some kids may take up to 20 times before they will try a food; that is quite an amt!)  So, really hang in there.  And he will naturally have dislikes no matter how much it is presented.  We all have our preferences.  :-)  

And if it is related to lack of food exposure, the way to move past it is by slowly inching along to gradually widen his accepted foods.  I think you have a good idea presenting in a form that he is familiar with, and then moving to other forms.  If you were getting stuck/wanting help "on the ground"/feeling overwhelmed/seeing lack of progress, then perhaps you would want someone like the ot to see if there is anything hindering his development.  Here, it is so easy to do a developmental screening through the birth to three program.  It is free, too.

I did pick up "Child of Mine".  Going to probably start reading this weekend or next week.

[huntersmummyinoz]

well i just want to cry. actually, been there done that several times already.

we are all just getting over a bout of gastro so of course ds2 is off his food again. i finally got him eating better over the last month, we still had a long long way to go, BUT we had made some improvements. i guess we will eventually get there again with food.

BUT he threw up twice after a cup of milk. now he will have a sip and gag or dry retch and refuse any more. then he is crying and crying at bedtime because he wants his milk but he's scared to drink it  . i rely on his formula (prescription neocate for MSPI) for his calcium and vitamins as his diet is so restricted because of this damn salicylates intolerance. seriously, what the hell am i meant to do now      

[Sam-n-Max's Mommy]

I'm so sorry.  Many (((hugs)))). 

You will get there with food again.  We had a nice solid week of great eating and then went back to hit or miss.  It is so frustrating and disheartening.  Even though the good eating seems like a distant memory now, I am really happy that we got it for a short period of time because it reminds me that everything is a phase.  I am sure that your little DS will start eating well again. 

I hope you are all feeling better after the stomach bug .  More (((hugs)))

[hrk]

More hugs, Kirry.  I know you must be worried/disappointed/stressed out/frustrated.  I hope it passes quickly.  It sure can be one step forward and two back.  You are doing everything you can. 

I had an idea about using the formula to make a smoothie type thing?  Maybe you can put it in there with the yogurt/bananas/mangoes.  Perhaps it won't be a direct reminder of what happened.  If his appetite is down due to being ill, it probably is a waiting game.  I am so sorry you are going through this, Kirry. 

[Edesanja]

Major bummer Kirry Hope you're all better now!
Just in the last few days J has been eating a bit better. And he's eating all forms of dairy except straight milk seemingly without incident. I'm just a little hesitant to say it's all ok since he's been sick AGAIN these past 10 days and has had some very loose bm). I'll wait for him to get right again and make sure that the dairy he is having is fine before doing milk... and I'm scared too, though I think we do have a good shot at him being just fine.

So he's LOVING cheese now (after not touching it last time I tried it with him) and he waffled down a cheese toastie yesterday and likes yoghurt too and thinks ice cream is the best thing ever (it's in the genes!!!  ). But he is hardly drinking Neocate - maybe 50ml/ day. He's still having porridge cooked in fortified rice milk so maybe his Neocate + ricemilk + dairy is adding up to enough calcium - I have to work it out. It's his iron that I'm more worried about now. He will eat pate sometimes. Meat it depnds on how it's cooked and his mood 

[EloysH]

He WILL start eating when he's better and like horse love, he will.  K did, and now his finally stocky and lost his big eyes and skinnny neck.   Many many ((hugs))   

I have a good calcium supp if you are interested, personally i have gone for it, as we are borderline and now it takes the pressure off on the green veg in his diet.