Wow!!! Are you sure she's the supervisor and not an angry mother in law in diguise? You are obviously having a nightmare with this woman. I feel for you!
From personal experience with regards to water I followed what the health visitors told me and did not give any extra water. My little one (4.5 mo now) didn't seem dehydrated and if she was she would have been constipated. Had to give her water more recently due to constipation caused by reflux meds but that's a different story. Even so, significant quantitities of water (i.e. half a bottle) is definetely not recommended. Unfortunately, you'dd be hard pressed to find any doctor or health visitor to back you up against a nursery nurse.
It seems to me that no matter how much scientific evidence and nhs guidelines you provide, this woman will not change her mind. Maybe you could keep a diary of what she's saying and doing as well as the state of your LO (i.e. being overtired afterwards) to provide to her supervisors. Being separated from the dad is an unfortunate situation but you are lucky if he really cares about your LO. I don't know much about these situations, but is it possible to invite him back after the visitation to see what is happening with your LO? Alternatively, could you sit with him and explain that when you are looking after the baby things are fine and they only go wrong after these visits? Maybe then he could take your side when dealing with this woman and also you could provide a united front when referring to her supervisors.
Could you wear a wire and record what she's saying!???
I think you could get her with the re-boiled water.. definetely a no-no!!
Again I don't know how these things work and how complicated your personal situation is but could you and the dad change the visitation arrangements?.. I.e. can you change the visitation location.. would this result in a different supervisor?
Hope you get out of this situation soon. Best of luck with you and the dad as well!!
Georgina xx
