13 month old not sleeping through the night anymore...need help

[ctk134]

I need help! My 13 month old son has been a pretty good sleeper for the last 8 months or so until last Friday night. That night, I took him with me to my parents to try to get him used to sleeping somewhere else. It went horribly wrong! We ended up coming home and he didn’t get to sleep until 12:30 that night (Bedtime is normally between 8-8:30 when he’s asleep). Each day since has been getting worse. Some days his naps were bad, others, he was impossible to get to bed for the night. Now, he’s waking up for 2-3 hours periods throughout the night, and then waking before 6. This last night was the worse, even though I thought he’d do a little better. He had decent naps yesterday and went down for bed well (even though it took almost 45 minutes and he wouldn’t go down until he was out cold). He was asleep by 8:30 pm. Woke at Midnight, back to sleep at 2:30pm, then awake again at 4am. And here we are, he’s playing and I’m begging for help.

When he wakes in the middle of the night, he’ll scream bloody murder when he’s in his room and if you even try to get him near his crib, he’s inconsolable. After about 2 hours or so, I’ll be able to get him calmed enough that I can get him to sleep, but it’s a horrible recipe of accidental parenting. DH works nights, so I’ve been at this alone mostly and I’m getting frustrated and exhausted. I will admit, Monday night, I did let him cry in his crib for a while just because I was so frustrated I needed a break. I've never let him cry in his crib like that before. 

There are several other things going on right now that I think could be attributing to his problem:
1)I’m pretty sure he’s teething, because he’s chewing on everything and drooling like a faucet
2)He’s just starting to walk, taking a few steps at a time, so it’s a huge developmental milestone.
3)I tried to get him to sleep at my parents last Friday, and everything has been down hill from there

I’m at my wits-end and don’t know what to do. He had a perfect routine up until a week ago, waking at 7 am, eating, nap from 10:30 – 12, awake then a nap from 2:30-3:30 or 4, bedtime routine starting at 7:30 then asleep by 8:30. Please, any suggestions would help so much!

**I did try the "put down". We've been successful with the PUPD in the past, but with the put down, he just screamed hysterically and wouldn't even lay flat on his mattress.

[sianie]

Hi there...

{{Hugs}} that you're having a tough time!

It looks like you've already identified a few things that are going on that could be contributing to your LO's sleep being off. Are you giving meds for the teething before sleep?

It could be that the night you went to your parents triggered some OT which added to the teething/walking etc has snow-balled into what you are now dealing with. It could also be a bit of the 2:1 nap transition which typically can start to happen at around this age too (see below link FYI):

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=41952.0

I definitely wouldn't leave him to cry, although I get your frustration he's crying for a reason & you need to respond. You could try GW (Gradual Withdrawal) or WI/WO (walk in/walk out)...see below...

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=80750.0

Does this help?

[ctk134]

I feel horrible for letting ds cry in his crib for that bit of time. It's the only time I've ever done that and I would never consider using CIO because I agree that there's something wrong and he's crying for a reason. But I remember reading in Tracy's book that if you get too frustrated, it's OK to let them cry until you regain your composure. He wouldn't let me hold him, he wouldn't stay in his crib. There was nothing he wanted without screaming.

I read the 2-1 transition link you sent me. I'm not sure that he's ready for the 2-1 transition yet because his naps and night sleep have been good up until this point, though it did mention lo's being OT and it becoming out of control. I definately think this is the problem.

((5. Know the signs of OT - if naps start getting shorter, morning wake up times get earlier or your LO starts waking frequently at night, chances are they are getting OT. They might also start taking aaaages to fall asleep (although this could also be a sign that they are UT, so only really significant if one of the other things is happening too) or getting very distressed at bedtime/naptime or during NW (SA type behaviour).)) This is his behavior through and through.

With this being said, what is the best approach to going about getting that OT under control? I've been putting him to bed around 8, usually asleep my 8:30. Would shooting for a 6:30 bedtime be good? I'm just so worried putting him to be that early that he'll just wake up even earlier - though I've used that with him when he's been younger and it has worked. Any other suggestions about getting the OT under control? Suprisingly enough though, he's very, very happy with the little sleep he's getting, which I know is deceptive, but the reason I didn't go to OT initially.

Thanks, even this has been a big help. As long as I can see that there is a possible reason for his actions (being OT), I at least know what direction to take and that I can fix this.

[ctk134]

Sorry this didn't go with the last post, but I'm still fuzzy from lack of sleep.
As far at the night wakings go: when he wakes up, he refuses to sit in his room - crying and screaming until we get out of it, so I bring him to the living room and put on country music vidoes (He absolutely loves watching these). He'll stay awake for 2-3 hours. What should I do when he wakes? I don't think letting him sit in the living room watching TV is good, esp in the middle of the night, and I also don't want him to get used to it and insist on it later, but he calms for nothing else...

Also, with the WI/WO - I plan on using this after I get his sleep caught up - but I was worried that if he won't settle in his crib, and continues screaming like he has been when we even go near the crib, how is this to work? There is defiantely no settling him once he's in the crib.

Thanks again.

[sianie]

But I remember reading in Tracy's book that if you get too frustrated, it's OK to let them cry until you regain your composure.

I think by this she meant leaving the room for a few seconds to re-group not for a longer length of time.

I agree your LO is not ready to go to 1 nap yet but the 2:1 process can take a while to go through & he could be showing some of the signs of starting the transition.

To keep on top of the OT (which is always tricky!!) then early BT's do work well for most LO's; No, you can't guarantee that they will wake any later in the AM but it does mean that they get to have a longer nights sleep which is much more restorative than day time sleep.

[sianie]

As far at the night wakings go: when he wakes up, he refuses to sit in his room - crying and screaming until we get out of it, so I bring him to the living room and put on country music vidoes (He absolutely loves watching these). He'll stay awake for 2-3 hours. What should I do when he wakes? I don't think letting him sit in the living room watching TV is good, esp in the middle of the night, and I also don't want him to get used to it and insist on it later, but he calms for nothing else...

I agree this won't be helping....with my LO's I try to keep them in their cots unless absolutely necessary & if I do need to take them out I sit quietly with them in their room until they calm down.

If he's screaming then it might be that GW would work better...as with all these things it's a case of trial and error as to what works best for your LO.