Extended Nursing Support Thread part 4

[Erin M]

Ali, James just does cow's milk with breakfast and dinner now and water and solids at other times.

[becj86]

Hi

DH has finally stopped trying to get me to wean DS cold turkey immediately but has said he doesn't want him feeding beyond 2yo. We shall see, but I think that's reasonable.

We did DODR for a while which turned around and bit me on the nose! We *were* just feeding after his nap, at WU and BT and he was STTN. Should've left well alone. Anyway, I talked DH into DODR instead of just plain refusing and then when DS realised it wasn't happening when it was supposed to, he asked a lot and realised he got fed more often too. So instead of reducing from 3 to 2 feeds, it increased the number of feeds and NF's came back shortly after that with teeth, etc.

Ah well, just nice to know others are still feeding at this age too.

[*Ali*]

Why doesn't he want him feeding past 2yo Bec? Does he know the WHO recs are 2yo and beyond? It is good for your LO and if you and he are happy to continue feeding then I don't know of any reason not to. Maybe your DH just needs to be better informed. I think because not many toddlers BF  in public people mistakenly think it isn't happening or it is not normal when it is the most natural thing really.

[amayzie]

yeah bec- we're proudly still going now (i know your guy is older- but we aren't going to be winding up any time soon). We are only doing the 2 feeds- unless like tonight we are home late and he doesn't have an evening feed. That is working well for us and doesn't interfere with things at all. I would find the more 'on demand' style feeding to be more of a pain.

And i was always thinking that i'd wean at 2 years, but if i'm down to one feed by then i don't really see a need to stop- if it's one- or even 2 feeds it's in the privacy of your own home- so what's the problem!

[Papaya]

We're still doing once a day, Bec, at WU - we got rid of the BT feed about a month ago. And we also have the odd NF when teeth are bad I think what will signal it's time to end here will be if/when I'm pregnant again - I expect F will be 2 by then anyway - but otherwise I wouldn't be in any hurry to wean.

[Fiver]

Still going at BT here.

Although she was acting really weird tonight.  Kept hitting herself in the head, pointing at her eye, rubbing her eye.  Strange.  I'm sure she was trying to communicate something, but not entirely sure what

[Khalam's Mama]

We are still doing 2 or 3 feeds at 17mo. I fed ? Until 2 and it just suddenly wasn't working for us. Lots of people pushed me to wean earlier but I am flag I waited until I was ready.
It was handy the last few days with B ill that I did a nf when he was suffering which really helped poor thing.

[becj86]

Why doesn't he want him feeding past 2yo Bec?

Well, this is actually progress... he was wanting me to wean before 12 months initially I think he sees him as a little boy now, not so much a baby I just know that he's my only baby and I don't want to stop until he's ready and he's definitely not ready. One day he will be and I will probably be sad but he still seeks me out for a quick BF in an overwhelming situation or when he's been at daycare all day just as a touchstone type thing which I think is important for him at the moment.

He does know the recommendations because I tell him them every time he makes comments - he doesn't even discuss it with me first, just tells L that he'll have to stop having milk soon which probably doesn't help either! DS understands, I'm sure.

I have been known to feed him on the boat on the way home from work recently. Nobody seems to even look strangely at me or anything, less so than when he was younger even. Maybe I just don't notice any more...

I'd love to be able to go 'back' to more routine-based, less demand-based feeds but now he's experienced demand-based, I think it will be tricky to go back simply because he asks a lot. I do say no sometimes because its just not practical at the time or whatever and sometimes he can be distracted with a piece of fruit and a cuddle or something.

It should be interesting if we visit the IL's for christmas - they looked at me funny feeding him at 8 months, let alone 20

[ZacsMumme]

Bec, DH was a little like that too, I think sometimes for men it's more they don't get the bond we have so to them it's just a feed KWiM? dH was always supportive, but would make silly comments about weaning

You know....Z weaned himself when I got preg....

[becj86]

No more babies for me! Not after HELLP and Pre-eclampsia and an unexpected trip to ICU I am incredibly lucky to have my health such as I do and to have Logan alive and healthy.

I think sometimes for men it's more they don't get the bond we have so to them it's just a feed KWiM?

Maybe this is it. I know DH wants them back to himself Given I didn't find BFing to be a bonding or even pleasant experience for so long initially, its nice to be enjoying it now. I was so jealous of people who felt like BFing was their special cuddle time with LO but now I get to feel that way too and I 'get' it.

[Erin M]

That's really nice Bec.    Glad you're getting all that out of BFing.  At some point, you'll both be ready to stop.  DH can be part of that, but I think it's important that he realizes he's not the most important part of that decision, yk?

[amayzie]

^^ this!! I would suggest putting your energy into trying to reduce the feeds to something like 2 or 3 times a day, and perhaps not at night? (all up to you of course). I just find that on 2 feeds at the moment it really doesn't impact our life very much, so it's less easy for your DH to comment. You know- like a comprimise.. so rather than trying to cut out all together or worrying about how/when you're going to do that just take it one step at a time... Anyway- it will become clear when it's time.

Not time for us though- although i swear he said 'NO! NO! NO!' in relation to a bed time feed the other night (I think that might have been part of a general bed time reluctance) in the mornings it's a very clear "MAMA!, Go (milk)' then very quickly after that 'Peppa pi'

[becj86]

Not at night is my priority at the moment We're down to one or two very short ones with decent stretches between which is better than what was happening recently Needless to say, I'm not one to be advising on boob prop with toddlers

[Erin M]

LOL, we all have our props.    When Katie was 16ish months old, she spent so many nights in our bed that when she cried at night and I got up to get her by the time I made it to her room, she had generally already "packed up" -- holding on to her sippy cup, her lovey, and usually another stray stuffed animal or book.   

[amayzie]

nah- it's only a prop if it's a problem! We only relatively recently ditched the night feeds ourselves... And i can say that it's heaps better without- so if you are wanting to drop it consider me your personal cheer squad! Ours were getting silly though and turning into long wakings.