BTDT Mamas. How long does it take? 1-0 transition

[~Emma~]

How long? Weeks? Months?

 We are at the point when we offer him a nap out of sheer neccesity (usually after the teeth come out, thats the signal that he must sleep!) He wont go to sleep until gone 9pm and then EW then next day. If I was just to STOP, completely stop giving any kind of daysleep how long can I expect things to be bad for?

[sianie]

Hey Emma...

For us M started the 1-0 after Xmas so she was 30mths & we then went through a few months of nap cutting/ alternate nap & no nap days etc etc until she finally dropped her nap in April so around 4mths in total. For us I'm afraid it was by far the hardest transition we'd been through.

TBH, it's only now that things are starting to level off we had a few weeks of 12hr + nights when she first dropped but then OT kicked in & we were getting short nights for a while which was really hard going (for all of us!).

[~Emma~]

 He's past the point of alternating nap days but he is at the point where he'll sleep well at night (mostly!) if he doesn't nap, always subject to change though! Nightsleep is worse when he naps. 


 Its just the rotten behaviour I cant stand. The screaming, the tantrums, the biting. Our inability to socialise when he's like this. Seriously, I cant take him anywhere. Then there's the issue that we live rurally, I cant go in the car anywhere as he'll just fall asleep then he'll be up until god knows when and starting his day at 5.

 It just seems like he's not tolerating the nap drop at all right now and we've been trundling along like this for over a month now, nearer 2 perhaps. Nothing is getting better behaviourally, it seems he's not learning to cope during the day. He is tired from the second he wakes and yawns and rubs his eyes all day long.

 

[sianie]

Totally get it Emma....this transition is a serious PITA & it's no fun for anyone having an OT, miserable child on their hands!

If his night sleep is ok on no nap days I would perhaps trial doing no naps for a week or so, do early BT's & see how he gets on?

[~Emma~]

Its always my plan but we get to breaking point with him.He;s fine for a few days then one day he wakes up in tears and he cries all morning. Yesterday  was that day and that was after HOURS of whinging that ended in him somehow simultaneously biting my shoulder and slapping my face.  He's a good kid, he really is but does not cope with being tired very well at all and I hate that this brings out the worst in him kwim?

 So today we started again. No nap and was pretty fine all day despite the 5am waking for the day. We went out in the car and DH had to sit in the back with him to stop him from falling asleep! Guaranteed by Weds that'll be it, I'll have to let him sleep and we'll be back here.

 It'd be OK if we didn't have to put Baby D to bed. I'd live with the late BTs and take advantage of it and we could all go out for a meal and just let him have that 9pm bedtime he wants after a nap. That and a break in the day with him napping would be awesome! Ah, such is life!
 

[sianie]

It's a tough call Emma & I know how hard it is dealing with tired behaviour 

I think the main reason why this transition is so tough is that at least during other nap transitions LO's still get some daytime sleep which can curb OT but really with the 1:0 it seems to be all or nothing with the nap. Just from reading posts on here from Mum's in similar situations there doesn't seem to be an easy way to do it (& if there is then I would love to know!); you're either stuck with a nap & then BT resistance & short nights or no nap & a very tired/cranky LO.....I guess it depends on what you see as the lesser of 2 evils?

Ironically for me 2 weeks after E transitioned to 1 nap & I had them both sleeping at the same time in like forever, M dropped her nap....ho, hum!!

[~Emma~]

Ironically for me 2 weeks after E transitioned to 1 nap & I had them both sleeping at the same time in like forever, M dropped her nap....ho, hum!!

 Grrrrrrr. I kwim! Same here. Got them both napping at the same time in the afternoon and it was awesome. I would get 1.5 hours in the day to myself. I think thats what making this transition harder for us! He's always what Ive considered to be higher than average sleep needs so I thought he'd still be napping nicely at 3. I kept thinking all the blips with his napping post Dylans birth were because of all the change. Turns out he was dropping. 

 Its weird isn't it? You spend years fine tuning their sleep then this last bit is out of control and after that you dont need to worry anymore. This final hump seems to be the hardest. Its like losing the very last part of his babyhood and he's a true wee toddler soon to be preschooler now. Getting soppy! 

 Anyways thanks for your input. We did an early BT last night of 6am and he did 12 hours thru til 6 and still stayed in his bed until Mr Sunshine at 7. Cant ask for better really. I really must just try to power through the OT not let him sleep next week. I bet I'll cave though!

[sianie]

I really must just try to power through the OT not let him sleep next week.

Yep, that's the tough bit, it's so hard when you can see they are knackered & having meltdowns!

Really hope the week goes ok.....keep us posted!

[elf]

Our no nap transition with DD began in November last year.  It first began with not falling asleep at night after a nap and playing in her room and falling asleep at around 9pm but also waking at around 5.30am...  so then she would nap and the cycle would continue, not nap and the behaviour was not good.  I took it one day at a time but towards the end of January this year (so after around 3 months of napping some days, not the other) I cut it completely.  Bed became around 6.45pm and I didn't let her nap for around 3 weeks to break the short night habit.  But she is now 4 and she will still nap maybe once or twice a week so we are still in this transition!!! 

[~Emma~]

  But she is now 4 and she will still nap maybe once or twice a week so we are still in this transition!!! 

 Eek! 

 

[sianie]

Just wondering how things are going Emma?

[Tweakster]

Yeah me too.  We're on a 45 min nap, sometimes no nap on weekends but we are often getting 10/10.5 hr nights.  That doesn't seem like much sleep and he's clearly knackered by day's end.  Is this just how it is for the next 6 mths?! (and I'm only guessing that is how long it's going to take to drop it altogether...) or two years...lol

[*Liz*]

I'd say 2-3 mths with J with the EWs and grump horrid nap waking.

These days he does nap sometimes IF HE decides too - and I find that doesn't alter his routine at all really - he just does it of he is tired and NEEDS the sleep. He falls asleep on the sofa and I just leave him there.

[Tweakster]

TBH I do find life a tad easier on weekends when F just falls asleep in the car or in the buggy (although only happened a couple times so far).  He goes 10 hrs really and then crashes for a bit and then normal bedtime or slightly later seems to work.  We get more sleep overall on those days/night.  He's even slept on me one day he was so zonked.  Not sure if he'll ever crash on the sofa but if J can do it then I suppose F can too :-)  With the nap we're hovering at between 10.75-11 overall sleep.  Without a nap we can often get 11.5-12.

With the 45 min nap it keeps him from losing his mind at daycare and gives her a break, but I don't think it really does us any favours TBH.

Arrgh.  I was home on mat leave for the first 3 nap transitions.  I feel like this one is out of my hands :-(

[~Emma~]

Well he has only napped once since that last post and that was on Sunday just gone. He was a Birthday party and he fell asleep in the car on the way back but only for a half hour. I just let him watch Toy Story before bed and it eeked bedtime out to 8.15pm and he went to bed beautifully. Other than that its been 11.5/12 hour nights consistantly apart from the night before last when he did a stonker almost 14 hour night. Went to bed at 6.15 and got up for the day at 7.50. 

 OK, so dont hate me too much.  Here's the bad bits. We are getting NW about every 2nd night, waking inconsolable. He goes back down after a cuddle but he's not a happy chappy. They are decreasing though in length and frequency.

 Then there is the behaviour. We had a nasty biting incident last week. He bit his friend, right on the nipple no less.  The bad days are bad, he goes from hyper to tantrum to wanting a cuddle all in the space of 3 seconds and its wearing me down. We also cant go anywhere in the car for the afternoon as he will fall asleep straight off.

 All that being said I think we are getting there though. I do think its getting better. Every day when D is having her afternoon nap he has quiet time on the sofa and we put a DVD on (TV overused a fair bit through this I must admit) and he sits and watches it. He seems to have stopped the falling asleep but if I'm honest I'd let him if he wanted to and do BT an hour later and let him fart about in his room before sleep. I'd just have to keep my fingers crossed for no EW.

 Liz - Do you do later BT after the sofa naps? Do you wake him from them?