Going Crazy....

[DSAN]

My lovely little boy is now 22 weeks, and since about 2 - 3 months has been doing the short napping thing. Sometimes I have luck trying to extend naps, but about half the time there is no hope, no matter how sleepy he is. He goes down independently, but can't seem to make it through to the next sleep cycle.

Any way. I'm going crazy trying to extend naps. And my DH is going away for about 3 weeks and it will be just the two of us... I don't know how much more I can handle on my own.

Is there any value in NOT extending naps? Any value at all? And just hope he figures it out? I don't know what to do at this point. He's down for nap #3... was a bit tricky to get down, mantra cried on and off for about 7 mins before finally going off into dream land.

Here is our EAS so far for today, which is a bit all over the place... (there is no Y because I get no 'me' time):

E: 5:15am
S: 5:30 - 7:00am
A: 7:00 to 9:15
S: 9:15 - 10:20 (had to resettle 1/2 way through)
E: 10:20 - 10:30 (fell asleep nursing... doesn't usually happen, but I let him sleep)
S: 10:30 - 11:00
A: 11:00 - 1:25 (E at about 1, A time was a bit longer then planned)
S: 1:25 - 2:00 (tried to extend...)
A: 2:10 - 4:00 (E at about 3:00... we got all out of whack today as you can see!)
S: 4:00 - 4:35
A: 4:35 - now... going to aim for a 6:30 bedtime, DF @ 10....

To extend naps I have to stay the entire nap... he wakes up if I try to sneak back in and that makes him angry, then there is no hope... if I hear him wake and then go in it's to late and almost impossible to get him back down. If I get the timing right though all I need to do is give him his paci and maybe hold his hands down or put my face beside his. I feel like I've become a major prop...

Any way... don't know what to do...

[ZacsMumme]

Ick....I remember those days all to well, hiding in the room waiting for them to stir.

s there any value in NOT extending naps? Any value at all? And just hope he figures it out?

Well, yes...your sanity! If it is making you stressed and anxious (as it did for me) then maybe just focus on doing one a day, or if you do leave it offer more naps and go by his cues. This is what I would do sometimes. DS would end up having 4 X 35 min naps and a shorter day. Most babies will outgrow this! Esp if your LO is an independent sleeper. MyDS outgrew it just after the 6 month mark

I take it you have tried W2S? Or shorter A times to see if he will sleep longer incase that first 30 min nap is OT?

[DSAN]

Sanity is a good reason!! I'm giving myself a break today... no extending... even if I only get 30 mins of me time I'll take it. His first A time today (he's just down for nap #1... I expect him to wake in about 4 minutes...) was rather long, 2h 45mins, so we'll see if that makes a difference? The longest first A time he's done so far so maybe he'll be so tired he'll sleep through... maybe...

I hope it's just a phase!!! We're so close to that 6 month mark I just keep hoping he will figure it out.

I have tried W2S and had success with it when he was younger... now, it just totally wakes him... even me creeping back into the room wakes him most of the time... and then thats the end of that nap!

And yes, I tried shorter A times and I got a 25 minute nap, after which he woke up happy and chatting and that was the end of that!

I'm getting kind of tired of ripping my hair out about all this... he's such a lovely baby the rest of the time, I kind of feel like his nap issues are 'ruining' it for me so maybe thats a cue that I need to take a break from stressing about them. After all, he'll only be this little once....

I don't know... hoping there is a quick and easy fix but maybe the magic bullet is just 'time.'

[Ima shel Alon]

BTDT!
Sara gave you a really good advice. When things don't work just go for MORE naps during the day rather than longer ones. that worked for us and we had nice days like this and no difference at night time.
It is more important you enjoy him and let him be then being so frustrated.
I think sometimes he was napping so bad because of me, because I was so stressed, and when I am more calm about it we actually have some good naps.
(((Hugs)))

[DSAN]

Ima shel Alon... our boys are the same age DS is 5 months and 4 days! His bday is the 24th of Jan.

Any way, today was a disaster with the short naps only... he just melted down at the end of the day. But I guess we didn't manage to get enough in, only 3. BUT he didn't wake up till 7:45 this morning and is going down now at 6. so thats a barely 10 hour day.

I was reflecting too, on the fact that he really isn't going down that independently! Well, he goes down in his bed, but half the time (or more!) he wants to be touching some part of me... my face, my arm, and I definitely have to be in the room. Maybe thats the thing to work on? And then hopefully that will translate to transitioning through naps? Has anyone else found that this is the case?

[*Kara*]

Is there any value in NOT extending naps? Any value at all?

Just your own sanity

[ZacsMumme]

Have you tried introducing a lovey or transitional object. If he likes to touch what about something like a taggy? - We made our own out of brushed cotton/cotton and ribbon. Looks kind of like this: http://www.trademe.co.nz/baby-gear/toys/other/auction-386909552.htm and they kind of settle with the tags and snuggle into the blankie..Its actually kind of gross, DS sucks his now and DH calls it his 'stink rag' but...better than me being his sucky rag lol!

Maybe thats the thing to work on? And then hopefully that will translate to transitioning through naps? Has anyone else found that this is the case?

Wont hurt to work on it! :)Bu probably not the problem at 30mins...he's not even making it through 1 sleep cycle.

For us when Zac did such rubbish sleeps I did 4 or 5 a day depending on his cues to make it till BT, I also dropped his A times each crap nap. It sucks, but it beats a crying tired baby. ie
A 7am
S 9.45-10.15
A 10.15 -12.15
S 12.15-12.45
A 12.45- 2
S 2-2.30
A 2.30-4
S 4-4.45 (we would often get a longer nap at this point as DS wasnt so OT) - Then increased A a bit
A 4.45-6.45
BT 6.45
Total day sleep still bugger all but over 2 hours and hope for 11 hours overnight.

[brenda2]

hi there

i have been there too with short naps and it is so frustrating.  you can check out the support thread for short nappers to commiserate.  you are not the only one!

for us i would try for about 10 min to get her back down when she woke early from a nap and if it wasn't happening then i would just get her up and get on with it.  it wasn't worth it to spend hours in a dark room because it's just too hard to do.  i also usually APd the catnap to give myself a break.  i would go for a walk during catnap time with her in the carrier to get this nap so i didn't have to stress about it too much.

i agree that if he is only doing short naps then you need to get more in during the day so that the total day sleep is about the same as if he had had 2 long and 1 short nap.  he should be getting about 5 hours day sleep in a 12 hour day.  3x30 min naps is major OT territory and is just not enough sleep fro his age.  no wonder he was cranky.  OT can lead to nws too so you need to shorten up the A times and cram in more naps.  after a short nap reduce the A time to 1.5 hours.  you could even AP them for a few days (stroller ,car) until he is caught up on sleep and then try again

i do think that him not being bale to fall asleep without you there may be contributing as is the use of the paci.  i would work on him falling asleep independently without you touching him (you can be in the room, but not holding/touching him) first and see if this helps.  if it doesn't then i would consider weaning the paci.

other than this it is just time.  my dd1 short napped and i got rid of the paci at 5 mo and this helped.  with dd2 she short napped and had no props whatsoever.  she didn't start doing longer naps until about 8 mo and then it was just on her own, i didn't do anything to get her to nap longer, it just happened.

[DSAN]

I haven't introduced one yet but I've been thinking about it. I'm kind of worried about it... but he does like to grab things so it might help. He has a lovey with a stuffed owl head that he loves.... maybe I could use that. hmmm... will have to find another one so we can rotate. How long did it take for your LO to get the idea?

Maybe I should focus on extending one nap per day? Less stress for me but more sleep for him? We're going on holidays at the end of the week so it's probably not a good time to be worrying/working on this... plus his dad is going out of town for three weeks leaving me alone to deal with everything :*(

sigh.

Haha, I guess no one said this would be easy!!

[DSAN]

Thanks Brenda! I will definitely come by the short nappers thread... it's always nice to know you are not alone

I've started to dread naps so I'm a little guilty of avoiding them... poor guy. I know he's not getting enough day sleep... I guess we'll just start cramming in the naps!

I do wonder about the paci... sometimes he falls asleep with out it, and at night he doesn't need it when he wakes or to transition between sleep cycles. But I do need to re-insert it to re-settle him for naps. And to keep him happy in the car (but thats a whole other issue... the hating the car thing...). So maybe that's the issue...

[Ima shel Alon]

I've started to dread naps so I'm a little guilty of avoiding them... poor guy. I know he's not getting enough day sleep... I guess we'll just start cramming in the naps!

This is familiar, don't think you are the only one who has done that.
I can just say about the paci, that I weaned Alon two weeks ago, because he needed to be re-plugged again and again during nap times and even that didn't work for extending them. I think if it helps you extending the nap and he goes back to sleep then go for it, but if you sit there for 1/2h to replug it, then you might as well do sleep training and help him be more independent.

[DSAN]

How did the paci weaning go? I'm not looking forward to doing it since DS has reflux and I can see pu/pd being a nightmare... it's well controlled with meds but still want to avoid aggravating it. I've started to let him settle in his bed without his paci but to go over the edge into sleep he needs it most of the time.

Any way, day 1 of as many naps as possible isn't going to badly! We're on nap #3 and its just after 12:30! lol... he made it 2.5 hrs A time at first, the 2 hrs, then 1hr... lol. And this last A time could have been shorter I bet but his great-grandpa was here visiting him for the first time so he was distracted enough to be sociable.

I tried getting him to have his 1st nap in the stroller to see if it would be longer than 35 minutes (seems to be the magic number these days) but it was even shorter! So thats a no-go. It used to work like a charm. I have a wrap that he likes to sleep in so if I need to APOP a nap he'll sleep for an hour plus in there. Any way, I'm not going to try and extend any naps today or probably tomorrow... I'm so burnt out from 2 months of trying to extend naps. Maybe I'll try again when we are back from holidays.

[ZacsMumme]

Any way, day 1 of as many naps as possible isn't going to badly! We're on nap #3 and its just after 12:30! lol... he made it 2.5 hrs A time at first, the 2 hrs, then 1hr... lol. And this last A time could have been shorter I bet but his great-grandpa was here visiting him for the first time so he was distracted enough to be sociable.

It does make you feel a bit caged in with short A times but hopefully you will have a happier LO when he is awake

I found when DS got to about 3-4 months the buggy didn't work for long naps anymore

How did the paci weaning go? I'm not looking forward to doing it since DS has reflux and I can see pu/pd being a nightmare... it's well controlled with meds but still want to avoid aggravating it. I've started to let him settle in his bed without his paci but to go over the edge into sleep he needs it most of the time.

We still have a paci. I think if you are happy to ride out those months of having to maybe re-plug for him till he can do it himself it may be good to keep it for reflux flares. BUT if you don't want to be replugging you could try weaning. PU/PD can aggravate reflux so you will need to make sure if it def controlled if trying it.

[Ima shel Alon]

The paci weaning went fine. I tried PU/PD and after two days were ready to hand LO over to whoever stranger will come in way. He screamed for 7-8 hours a day - and he doesn't have reflux! So with some advice I got here (from shiv52) I started pat/shh. Not really pat/shh, because I don't pat him, just put a hand on his shoulder and shh him. First day it took quite long but then the shhing got shorter and shorter, and now, 3 weeks down the line, there are times I could just leave him and he will fall asleep by himself.

[ZacsMumme]

I started pat/shh. Not really pat/shh, because I don't pat him, just put a hand on his shoulder and shh him.

This method works great for us too esp to calm DS down. I am impressed!