12 mth -1 hr 10 min naps...so frustrated!!

[jodemummy]

Hi all...this is my fist post so please bear with me! I have been reading up on the 2-1 FAQ's etc as my 12 month old twins seem to be wanting to move in this direction for the last month. We have tried pushing sleep times back gradually and they were handling it ok.....but for the past week one twin will go down for a 2.5 hr sleep most days wheras the other will only go down for 1hr 10 mins exactly! On the rare occasion she will have a 2 hr sleep but only maybe once a week...she will not have an arvo sleep, has been refusing it for over a month hence i was trying to transition them.
However, now i don't know what to do as i have one great napper and one who is up after only an hour and it is often before 12pm as we have gone back to am bedtime between 10-10.30 to combat OT. Have also been doing an earlier bedtime.
Does anyone havve any clues re the 1hr10min nap??? I am getting so frustrated and confused about whether it's OT or UT??? I just don't know what to do anymore? Surely at 12 months she won't just stick with a 1 hr sleep from now on? Please help if you have any suggestions....thank you

[sianie]

Hi there!

Welcome to BW! 

1hr 10 min naps, in my experience, can be either UT or OT (depending on what the routine has been like before the nap). 2:1 transition can be a bit tricky & it might be in your case that the 1hr 10 min naps are OT if you have just been doing 1 nap. It can take LO's a while to adjust to 1 nap & therefore naps start off short for a few days & then generally start to lengthen.

It would be really helpful if you could post your current routine so we can see what's going on (if you could post what time he wakes/ naps/ goes to bed etc). 

[jodemummy]

Thanks Sian! I have been thinking OT but she seems happy most days when she gets up and is often doing 7 hr awake times in pM now before bed!  She went through a stage of EW and NW when i first began the transition but bringing bedtime forward seemed to fix that for the most part so currently the routine looks like this although i have been going back and forth with the sleep time as i haven't known whether its UT or OT 

6.15am(sometimes 6.45)- Wake, talk in cot until 6.30ish
7am - breakfast (cereal, toast etc)
8.30am -Morning tea (mainly to keep them both distracted!)
9.45/10.00 - Bottle
Nap at either 10.30 or 11.00am....i have managed to stretch them until 11.30am some mornings but then i got a 50 min wake from nap.
So here twin 1 will have 1hr 10 min or so and Twin 2 will have 2.5/3 hrs(she has always slept better)
12 ish - twin 1 up (give snack and try to keep quiet!)
1.00ish - twin 2 up
1.30 ish - Lunch for both
2.30/3 - arvo tea and milk in cup
4.45pm - Dinner
5.45pm - bath
6.00pm - Bottle
Asleep by 6.30ish now....bedtime used to be 7pm.

Obviously everything from 12ish is then awake/activity time...making for a very long afternoon!
i had read that it can take a few days for them to get in the habit of lengthening their naps which twin 2 seems to have done no worries but my other girl has been doing the 1hr 10 min nap for over 2 weeks now!!before i started the transition she had been stretching her am nap to 2 hrs but no pm nap for over a month which is why i finally decided to begin the transition....however it all seems to have gone awry!

Is she havving too long a sleep at night now do you think? She does still wake before 6 some mornings though. Would it be better to just fix on a nap time of say 11am and stick with it in the hope she will eventually adjust? just seems everything i have tried is not working and i am overthinking everything now.....just so much harder when you have 2 girls on different routines!

Any thoughts very much appreciated...thankyou 

[sianie]

often doing 7 hr awake times in pM now before bed!

I think this could be the issue...7hrs A time for a 12 mth old is really long (especially on a short nap).

I think you have a couple of options; 1/ do a set nap time (I  have always used these with my LO's & have found that they really help with making the day more consistent), so as you mentioned maybe stick with 11/11.30am to start with & put her down at this time regardless of wake up time. You will need to do as early a BT as is possible if she short naps to try & break the OT cycle. 2/ try & add in a short cat-nap later in the PM to help you to get to a later BT & keep OT at bay (even if you are able to APOP a 20/30 min nap in car or buggy although I appreciate it must be difficult juggling twins!)

What do you think?

[babybarr]

That's a tough one!  However we found 1hr 10min naps were generally UT.  I wonder if you could stretch the lower sleep needs twin to 11.45am and see if that helps?

Out of curiousity why are they on one nap now?  Would it be worth throwing in a few 2 nap days?

[jodemummy]

Thanks again Sian...just to add a spanner in the works they have both had 3hr day sleeps for two days running now....didn't know what to do with myself...trouble is the twin i was having trouble with is now waking at around 3.30am for a play and chat for around an hour and half before dropping off to sleep and then waking at 6 ish! So it seems if she has a decent day sleep she wakes at night, not sure what is worse, small nap and at least sleeping through the night or a decent nap and wake times at night! Ugggg...so confused now!!

I have stuck with the 11am sleep time so hopefully at least that will become routine although will be a challenge this morning as she is so tired already from the NW. Would love to do 2 sleeps Laura but she just will not do it no matter what i try and has been refusing for over a month and was just making her am sleep longer so i decided i had to try and get that one sleep later in the day to get rid of this huge A afternoon time. I don't know how she does it, the girl can seemingly stay awake for half a day and it actually doesn't seem to bother her that much until 5pmish! Thanks for your thoughts re UT....i was wondering the same as she seems tired by bedtime but not overtired.....and still talks for awhile before sleep rather than crying.maybe tomorrow i will try to stretch her again.

i'm not sure how she will sleep today or if she is now getting OT again and not sure if on those days they both have a decent sleep if i should still have an early bedtime. I tried shifting it back by 15 mins last 2 nights as i thought they wouldn't be as tired and yet they are both NW now.....would that actually mean too much sleep in the day?

Gosh i am sooo overthinking this all now, someone stop me, lol!!

[babybarr]

I would say yes the NWs are being caused by the mammoth day sleep.  I def would try stretching the lower sleep needs twin a bit and perhaps waking the other at 2.5hrs - how much day sleep were they getting on 2 naps?

[jodemummy]

Thanks for your suggestions Laura...Lower sleep needs twin has been managing around 2hr day naps now although still waking at the 1 hr mark and having a cry or chat....but then luckily has gone back although i never know if she will or not. Hasn't been doing the 4am wakings but now getting earlier by 10-15 mins wake up each morning, this morning was 5.25am which is too early when trying to stretch out to 11.30am for the 1 sleep!

They have been asleep by 6.45pm, was trying to move forward to the 7pm bed again if they both have a 2 hr sleep but since doing this the EW has begun. Not sure if i am expecting too much and this is just all the sleep she needs or not? Am going to try in bed by 6.15pm instead tonight because EW have only started since i pushed bedtime back again...but i thought maybe she would wake earlier with the early bedtime....hmmmm such a juggling act isn't it....has this happened to anyone else possibly, she is really starting to do my head in and waking her sister up earlier noww and she likes more sleep!

When they actually had 2 day sleeps, twin 1 averaged 2 hrs (1.5am & 30-40mins pm) and twin2 was around 3hrs (2by 1.5 hr)

Thanks all x

[jrmommyx2]

My twins are now 3, and I have always been really lucky that they have similar sleep needs, so I feel for you! Doing everything twice is hard enough when they are doing the same thing, yet alone different things! I would have to agree with pp that 7hours A time is way too long... My kiddies can barely do that now! For us, at your kiddies age, our schedule looked like this:

7ish wake up
11am cat nap (about 30 min)
2-3:30pm nap
7pm asleep (in bed my 6:45)

The idea was to slowly shorten the cat nap and move it back, while moving the pm nap up. We didn't really start this transition until about 15 mos and by about 16.5- 17 mos they were doing a solid 3 hour nap at noon! Definitely miss those days...

Have they always had different sleep needs? How do you feel about them being on the same or different schedules?

[babybarr]

Early bedtime is the key when they transition.  I would def cap the lower sleep needs twin at 2hrs nap.

[jodemummy]

Have they always had different sleep needs? How do you feel about them being on the same or different schedules?

Yep, they have pretty much always been that way but i have tried to keep them on the same schedules mostly as i find it too hard otherwise so it means one twin often gets woken!Don't mind half hour or so but over an hour gets ridiculous. 1 twin slept for 3 hours yesterday and the other for only an hour again...was a nightmare as i had to do 2 lunches and felt like i was treading water all arvo and then they are at different stages of tiredness by bedtime.

Today they both had over 2 hrs sleep which was great but i just never know when twin 1 will do that or the hour wakeup so feel like i can never count on the break. I also then seem to get more NW when she has had a good daysleep so catch 22 at moment!!

I will stick to a 6.30 bedtime for now and morning sleep by 11am no matter what the wake time and keep my fingers crossed that the routine starts to settle...tthen perhaps i can start pushing back further till we get to lunchtime and no more NW and EW!

Seems like such a juggling act and each day is different at moment which is doing my head in as i am a routine girl but i guess that is why the transition is so hard.

Thank you to you all for your advice....main problem seems to be getting past a 5.30am wake up at moment!

[babybarr]

Have you tried the later nap for twin 1 only - keep her going for 30mins longer - I def think that is worth a shot.