Back at work, NW in 9.5 mo are proving to be too much for me!!!!!!!!!!!!

[lesliemarie]

I think that DDs I need you cry is more of a frantic cry.  Like she is just freaking out.  With her protest cry you can tell she is angry.  It is hard to tell when you have a baby who doesn't cry often. 

[sbalcome1980]

Have been listening to cries, but you're right.....it is hard to figure out with a LO who doesn't cry very much.  Not such a bad problem to have, but it makes decoding sort of a mystery, but I think I did ok last night.  Bedtime was pretty uneventful with no crying (he fed until almost asleep) and then he STTN (8:30 - 7:00).  He did wake up at 12:30 and let out a couple of cries, but I could tell that they were "I don't want to be awake right now cries" and he settled in under 30 seconds and didn't need me.

I am having trouble with routine.  I don't think DS is ready for 1 nap, but I am also having trouble fitting naps in and sometimes I think I am trying to put him down UT for his last nap of the day because I don't want it to go late.  What ends up happening is that he refuses the nap and then starts to get OT, which I don't want at the end of the day so I put him down and he will end up sleeping until 5:00 pm or so, and even though it might have only been 30-45 minutes, I think he is UT for bedtime.  Alternatively, some days I have trouble getting him down for a nap in the morning if I wait too long, and then he is OT and I don't get him to bed until around noon and then he will wake up after an hour or so and then the rest of the day is messed up and he ends up OT at bedtime.

Am I right to think that at this stage (can almost handle too much A time for 2 naps, but not enough for 1)  that my options are short nap in the am then long nap in the pm, or long nap in the am and short nap in the pm??  How do I figure out what is better?

Do you think I am on the right track?  Sometimes I feel completely lost because it feels like we're jumping back and forth from issue to issue but there's been so much going on with DS and I probably shoudl have been taking it one step at a time....like deal with the reflux before trying to do anything else, and now - deal with the routine before trying to teach sleep.

[lesliemarie]

I know exactly what you mean.  DD is now falling asleep on her own completely but is still waking a lot at night.  I'm wondering if I need a routine tweak as well.  She just gets so cranky and fussy lately that I'm pretty sre she is tired but this will happen after only being awake for 2.5 hours in the morning and 3ish between other naps and bedtime.  I just don't get it and I don't know what to do to get past the fussiness to push out her nap times.  She will falls asleep in less than 5 minutes on her own and most times she just rolls over and goes to sleep when I put her down so I'm pretty sure she is tired but she is now waking right at the hour mark and sometimes waking after 30 minutes needing a cuddle to get back to sleep.

[mmom]

How you handle the 2-1 is up to you.  Some moms offer a longer am nap because their LOs hate being woken and they are able to get a cat nap. some moms cut the morning nap, because their LOs refuse a cat nap.  Also, some moms have other LO's routines to manage and try to have LOs sleeping at the same time. 

You can start with a longer morning nap and if you get pm nap refusal, try it the other way.  That is really your preference.

[sbalcome1980]

Soooo, the increase in meds really seems to be making him more comfortable.  He is now putting himself to sleep and then waking around 6 am, having a bottle then going back down for another 2 hours.  For naps, I can put him in his crib and he will fall asleep on his own.  The only issue, is that it is taking him a long time to fall asleep for bedtime, sometimes almost an hour.  He is not fussy, he will just play in his crib and then fall asleep............but what that means is that he is only going to bed at like 9:00 pm and then he doesnt want to wake up any earlier than 8:30 am.

Does it sound to you like he is UT for bedtime when he first goes down and that's why he is playing in his crib for so long before going to sleep?  He is having approx. 4 hrs A time before I attempt to put him down, so I really thought that he should be tired.

[lesliemarie]

It sounds like UT but after 4 hours of A time I would think that is enough.  What does his EASY look like now? 

[sbalcome1980]

8:00 am - wake (used to be 7:30 am, but is slowly creeping later, I assume due to the later bedtime)
11:00 am to 12:00 pm - nap 1
3:00 pm - 4:00 pm - nap 2
8:00 pm - bedtime..........but he doesn't actually go to sleep until 9:00 pm some night

I am starting to wake him at 7:30 am starting tomorrow.  Even if I was to cut the am nap by 45 minutes and push it out, to say 11:30 pm or 12:00, then I think his pm nap will occur too late in the day.

If I was to try to do one nap at 12:00 pm (which I am pretty sure he could make it no problem) and he woke at say, 2:00 pm then I could put him to bed at 7:00 pm, but then he would prob wake up at 6:00 or 6:30 the next day, and then I am pretty sure that he wouldn't be able to make it to noon before having a nap.  So, I guess then maybe that could be a 2 nap day.   It's such a cycle, everything I do today affects tonight and then tomorrow!!!

[lesliemarie]

It really does.  DS is really similar to DD.  Although she can't make it past 10am regardless of how long she has been up.  For example, she got up at 7:45 but was beyond ready for a nap by 10:00.  I think if he seems to be able you can try for one nap.  That might help bedtime and you may be surprised by the wake up time. 

When do you start back to work again?  Is you daycare provider adaptable for nap times? 

[sbalcome1980]

I'm actually working now   They have been very good at being flexible, but the other person in the office who does accounting is going on Maternity Leave the beginning of September and things won't be so flexible.

DS goes to a home-based daycare and the woman who looks after him is great.  She will do whatever I request..........wants to keep things as consistent btw home and daycare as possible.  We have still been doing the 2 naps there as well, I just told her 2 weeks ago to cap the morning nap at 1 hr because he used to sleep 1.5 hours in the am and 1.5 hrs in the pm and I haven't updated her since because I'm not sure what he should be doing    Might try 1 nap on Friday and the weekend and see how it goes (I work tomorrow and Thursday).

Today he did 45 mins in the am (after only 3 hrs of A time) and then 45 mins in the pm (after 3.5 hrs A time) and then he went to sleep 4.25 hrs later.  It took him about 30 mins to fall asleep in his crib........no tears, just lots of "singing" to himself, standing and sitting and playing with his lovies.  I stayed in the room with him, sitting within view of the crib.  It's the shortest amount of time that he has settled himself yet.  We will see how the day (a tad too little sleep I think) translates for NW and EW...........will update tomorrow.

[lesliemarie]

That is great that they are flexible and that the home daycare is so on board.  DD will also be in a home daycare with a former nanny.  It will be just DD and the care provider's daughter who is only a week younger than DD during the day.  Hopefully that will make it easier to be flexible and she has already said she will do whatever I ask in regards to DD.

Anyway, that is great about the naps.  Did he go down independently for the naps as well as bedtime?  How did he seem after the short naps?  I'm crossing my fingers for no NWs for you

[sbalcome1980]

Sounds really nice where your DD is going for childcare.  It's nice to have just the 2 of them, lots of attention.

The short naps yesterday definatley led to OT.  He went down pretty easily for bedtime, in 30 mins total (bottle plus playing in crib).  Then he woke up an hour later and then had an EW of 5:30 am this morning.  Sooooo, no short naps today, LOL.  He had an hour nap and an hour and a half.  Hopefully not too much.  He went down for bed tonight in about 40 mins.  He is usually going to sleep independantly for naps, but not always.  I think that my timing with his schedule is the reason that naps aren't independant yet.  I ALWAYS seem to be putting him down either UT or OT still.  I'm honestly still not seeing a whole lot of cues, but I'm only with him 2 full days out of the week now because of work.

I'll let ya know how it goes tonight after the longer naps today.

[lesliemarie]

That sounds like about what DD gets total during the day.  I honestly don't see many cues at this point either.  I need to just watch the clock and put her down when I think she is/should be getting tired.  Sometimes she will start to get more whiny and I know it's time but that is really it.

[sbalcome1980]

Last night was much better.  He did wake around 12:00 and was quite upset and I picked him up and settled him and then put him back in his crib awake and he fussed for a few minutes but then fell back asleep himself.  Then he cried out at around 3:00 am, and then fussed a little, but with me beside him giving him some reassurance, he did fell back asleep without me even getting him out of his crib.  Then, he did stir in the morning, around like 6ish......but I just let him settle back down by himself and he went back to sleep and I woke him at 7:15 so that I could get him ready so I could go to work.

Today, he was at his grandma's and didn't get enough daytime sleep, so I have a feeling that our night won't be as good as last night.  He napped for about 40 minutes this morning and 1hr10 this afternoon.  He was about 40 mins short.....but he did get to sleep at 7:45 pm (fell asleep in like 10 minutes at bedtime), which is about 45 minutes earlier than he has been for the last couple of weeks.  Anyway, fingers crossed.

[lesliemarie]

That's great.  He is really starting to settle well on his own.  Once you get to the point where you can settle them without picking them up I don't think it is long before they won't need you at all.

Maybe you'll be surprised.  Maybe less day sleep will mean he sleeps more deeply.  Fingers crossed 

Are you still going to try doing one nap tomorrow and the weekend?

[sbalcome1980]

I'm gonna see how tonight goes and then make the call for tomorrow.  I think I will end up keeping 2, he seems to be needing them now.  I think now that his night sleep is regulating a bit, he is more or less on a similar schedule to your DD, only he seems to need a tad more A time in the am or he will refuse or short nap.  I am feeling good about keeping what we have going right now for a little while longer so that I can continue to watch it........am starting to gain some insight ex:  2x 45 min naps will equal evening waking and EW, that his "nights" are approx 12 hrs long (including the NW of course)......