9 mo - really hard to look after

[Bonzo23]

Not really sure where to start or where to even post this.  Ds2 has always been a difficult baby - colic until 3 mo and then continuing feeding/constipation issues.  He sleeps quite well - goes into his cot wide awake with his dummy and his comforter and goes off (unless he has wind).  Trouble is I find it really hard to look after him all day. He's a big boy and very physical and every interaction is difficult.  Changing his nappy - he kicks you as hard as he can constantly.  If he's done a poo he'll put his legs together push them down and arch his back, making it incredibly difficult to clean his bum.  And he's quite happy through all this - smiling at me as he kicks the daylights out of me. 

Feeding him his breakfast is a nightmare.  Complains loudly throughout and bounces in his highchair so violently that he moves his chair a foot from the table every few minutes.  And his arms DO NOT STOP flapping up and down.  He wants whatever he can see - the bowl the yoghurt pot, whatever and shouts until he gets it and then immediately throws it on the floor and then cries/shouts complains until someone picks it up.  Then cleaning him up - more flapping shouting bouncing.  So now it's time for playtime but I'm sick of him already and he's only been up for an hour   This goes on all day - and then it's time for his bath.  Ds1 can't stand to share his bath with him cos he reaches out with his feet and kicks him as hard as he can.  Either that or he flaps his arms to splash water so much the floor is soaked and ds1's eyes are sore from all the water going in them.  He wears his sunglasses in the bath quite often! 

So, basically, all the set pieces are a nightmare.  When he is calm (for about 5 minutes total, all day) he's lovely.  And he's pretty happy through all this (except mealtimes - but even then he will laugh and giggle sometimes - just don't keep him in the chair for 1 second after he's had enough...)  But cuddles are a nightmare - bouncing flapping, just hideous.  He's like a monkey with his feet - he wants to kick and push against everything in sight.
Anyone have any ideas??  Or can you explain to me why he's like this - if I understood it I'd find it easier to cope wiith I think?  We have other problems like he still has a bottle in the night randomly - 3 or 4 times a week, sometimes as early as 3:30 am, he still has a df and I want to get him off his dummy but I really don't know where to start??  Really looking forward to going back to work.  I must sound like a monster..

[blondie2006]

I never reply to forums but had to this time because I could have written this myself! My boy is 9 months old and is EXACTLY the same! Really spirited, either really happy or whining. He can't sit for any period of time without whining. He flaps his arms so much and instead of playing with toys he just bashes them against each other with his bird flapping arms. If I leave the room he cries and if he's tired (which is most of the time because he wakes at 5 and fights sleep during the day) we know about it. He arches his back, screams etc.

Just thought I'd let you know I know exactly how you're feeling and i'm eagerly waiting for a response to your post with any suggestions! X

[j.and.e]

how is he when u go out? I find my 2 are both easier to entertain out and about! Xx

[Bonzo23]

That's good to know Blondie!
j.and.e. he is good when I'm out - less whinging, thrashing/flailing etc - but he won't ever eat anything, drink any milk or sleep at all so the rest of the day/week are even worse as he fights his way through being OT and constipated from lack of fluids. We went to a friends last friday - it was an hour's drive there and an hour and a half back and we were out of the house from 9:30 to 15:00.  In that time he slept for the last 5 minutes of the car journey there and ate and drank nothing.  Took him until the monday to catch up on his sleep and get his poos back in order.  We go out every wednesday morning to playgroup and have done since he was 4 weeks old and in all those wednesday mornings he's drunk just 2 bottles of milk.  And now I just accept that he won't be having a sleep on a wednesday morning.  Wednesday afternoons and evenings are all the fun of the fair.  So we don't go out much.

Is it all just that he's OT cos he's still being disturbed everynight by the df?

[*Kara*]

I would post a typical day with loads of details on what he eats, how much and when.  What activities you do with him etc on the EASY board... this really sounds like he is unsettled because of a routine issue.

As for the night feeds, at this age... just stop.  You can wean both feeds and the dummy using PUPD (or PD if he can stand).  Hard work, but it pays off.

[ZacsMumme]

Bonzo23 it also sounds like your LO is very spirited, and possibly bored (US), OT or frustrated. It could also be to do with what he is eating. I agree with Kara re the routine issue. I also think with spirited children you really need to try to 'tune in' especially with active little boys! They get frustrated easily as they cant communicate how they are feeling or what they want/need. A few things that work well here with my active little boy revolve around the real world! Toys are just that, and after 10mins of playing (esp on their own) they become mundane. Have you tried taking your LO outside to sit in the grass, pull at it, play with leaves and crawl along the ground? The beach, sand? Putting a small amount of water in an icecream container and letting him splash it all around or having a swing at the park?

This age they are very interactive and want to play 'with you' I know this is tough, but even if you have 10mins on and 10 off.
There is a spirited support thread which you can post on. Other mums will surely give you some good tips. I am assuming that your LO is spirited..correct me if I am wrong!!!
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=210932.0

[Bonzo23]

Thanks ladies.  I will post on the EASY board.  He's only just in a routine (ish) in the last month or two - not for want of trying on my part!  The doctor labelled it 'self-monitoring' in the end.

He's really poorly atm with a horrible cold so I'll post when I've got him settled back into a routine.  Giving spirited babies medicine is fun, isn't it!!! And he just LOVES to have his nose wiped...   Once he's better I'll tackle the df, nf and his dummy too.

I think it's safe to assume he's spirited.  Is there a 'spritied-plus' category?

I have been lax at getting out and about with him on the days ds1 is at nursery.  What with his colic, then his feeding/pooing troubles, then my mum died, then I was diagnosed with skin cancer, then we were potty training ds1 - it's been quite a year.  We have no local support and I've struggled tbh.  Everyone always says the second child has to just fit in with what's going on with the first child - not really fair I guess.  He's finally started crawling today and once he's really mastered that I think he'll be happier all round.

Thanks again

[ZacsMumme]

((HUGS)) Sick babies is always tough. It sounds like you have had a pretty tough time lately
It is hard enough with one, let alone two, and little support.

I agree with the crawling. DS is a lot happier he can now move around. I think there is a lot of frustration around this age when they cant  communicate what they want, and they cant move around to explore on their own.

[*Kara*]

I agree with the crawling. DS is a lot happier he can now move around. I think there is a lot of frustration around this age when they cant  communicate what they want, and they cant move around to explore on their own.

We are living this frustration right now.  DD gets so mad when she can't get what she wants.. and she can't tell me to help her... poor thing gets so angry at her toys sometimes!

[Mama_Mia]

I could have written this thread about M. You are NOT alone Bonzo my DS is very spirited also. It takes a lot of patience and imagination to keep up with these boys and not get frustrated. Hang in there, I know its tough but this too will pass.