Thought I'd send an update.
Spoke to paed's secretary couple of days back and she will be calling me back tomorrow with advice or appointment etc (his paed isn't in until tomorrow so it's as fast a response as I can expect).
Gave some thought to feeding in the bedroom, Kara, but in the morning he now generally has a poo straight off so I have to take him to get cleaned up prior to his feed and if I left him in the bedroom to go get a bottle he would go crazy shouting and crying. He still sleeps in the same room as me so for sure he would know i was leaving him instead of getting him up. His afternoon feed is almost always out of the house so there wouldn't be an option for that one to be in the bedroom.
He had his first swim class at the weekend. That turned out to be a high milk day (490ml). Waking him to take him out meant he got his 11am bottle instead of missing it and half an hour of swimming made him ravenous for the milk I gave directly after. But I can't realistically take him swimming every day and although it would increase his milk intake he'd be expending more calories too so it evens back up.
Starting to mull over a theory that the more dairy I offer in his solids the LESS milk he takes, as though he knows he's had enough dairy? Just a hunch, would need some exploring.
Two nights ago went cold turkey on the DF. I know I know, I kept saying I couldn't do this, but he took only 2 or 3oz at it, so really what's stopping him having that in the day? Nothing but habit. He's 8 months old, he used to drink 180ml in about 10-15 mins so he really shouldn't need 5 bottles every day and only be taking little sips from them.
Night 1: At 2.30am I was wishing I hadn't gone cold turkey
in the dark hours I thought he must be really hungry so fed him - duh! He took about 60ml. He woke again at 3.30am and we had a hell of a time of it, lots of cuddles, lots of screaming, he was totally MAD that he was awake. Eventually back to sleep at 6am (he's usually up about 6 or 6.30!)
In the broad light of day, with a more clear head I mulled it over and decided he hadn't been hungry at all.
Night 2: NW at about 3.30am. Didn't feed but did eventually offer some water which he had a bit of. I suspect that this waking was down to lost lovey which I think has happened a couple of times recently (muslin square, he is back arching and accidentally pulling it underneath himself then laying on it, so when he is transitioning between cycles he must be searching for it in his sleep and then wakes when he can't find it). Eventually back to sleep around 4.30am and slept until 7.45am. By the time he woke, did his poo, started his alert to wake me, nappy change, prepare feed etc it was 8.15 meaning he went almost 14 hrs between feeds and yet he was still in a very pleasant mood, no crying for his bottle (more like polite requests). He took 130ml which is the most he's taken in one feed for AGES (apart from the swimming day) although I thought he might have more considering he'd gone 14 hrs!
As the morning feed was better I decided not to give the 11/11.30 milk which he keeps skipping anyway due to napping, but I've been offering it when he wakes which is close to solids lunch. This meant his second milk was at 3.30pm, 110ml. And his third milk was at BT, only 80ml. Day's total still only 320ml but it feels a bit more structured than all those tiny bottles and he hasn't been asking for anything so clearly doesn't feel like he's missed out.
Now on night 3 of no DF. I hope for a better night.