Night wakings, feeding to sleep and older siblings

[Nekhbet]

Hi,
I have gotten myself into a little situation. My 11 month old DD2 is waking frequently through the night (3 hours initially, then every 1.45-2 hours after that.

She goes down well with pat/shush (even if i leave when she is quite awake) but does not resettle once she wakes up. The only way she will resettle is with a BF.  I was trying so hard to avoid the feed to sleep this time around too. I have tried water only and no dice. 

She doesnt have a consistent routine in terms of how long she stays down etc but.  

6-7 up
7 solids
8 BF
Between 9-10 down for first nap. Generally takes between 20 mins -2 hours (average 40m)
12 solids
1:30 BF
2:30 - nap for between 20m and 2h (average 40m)
5 solids
6:30 BF
7 down

She is also prone to falling asleep in car at the wrong time and throwing it all out. 

Other things that are contributing are an older DD, who I am paranoid of DD2 waking up so going in a bit earlier then I should. But even when left, she doesnt resettle.  (she does manta cry for a while before screaming). I generally leave 5 odd mins before going in. She screams louder at this point.  Louder again if I try pat/shush. 

I should know better, but still wound up here
Thanks

[mmom]

((HUGS)) Do you think she is OT from the lack of sleep?  I would think 2 40 minute naps and a long A to bed, would make my LO OT.

Do you always get a short morning nap?  At 11 months, we had a 3.5 hour A in the morning, so I am wondering if you would get a longer nap with a slightly longer morning A.

Also, a lot of LOs hit the 2-1 and everything changes with sleep.  http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=163278.0

What about teething?  Any chance your LO is having difficulty settling because of teeth?

[Nekhbet]

Hi, thanks for replying

Yes, somedays she would be quite OT, but she does often do the 2 hour stretch (I don't let her go longer).  Sometimes she goes to nap earlier and other days she has a third nap.
Like today, I'm dropping off my eldest at daycare 20 mins away.  I can guarantee that she will fall asleep then at about 9am, sleep 20 mins and then refuse to sleep on the way back.  I sometimes have appointments at 11:30, when she should be awake, but she will just fall asleep again on the way there and have a third nap for the day. 

She was going well enough before (2 Night Wakings, 11pm and 5am) up to a several months back.  I figured that was teething.  She had ruddy cheeks, drooling and the bulging teeth ready to crack the surface.  I was quite lenient with her sleeping then as I figured it would pass.  These teething symptoms came and went for a while and each time it seemed teeth eruption was imminent.  3 finally popped this week.  I was hoping that was finally it, but it looks like another has just come to the surface.    The sleep remained the same.

I have tried pushing her nap towards 10, but everything is so mixed up, I can't see a difference.  She is generally most tired before the first nap, although that could be catching up from the night? 

[mmom]

On the days when you get 2 hours, you probably will only need a 45 minute nap until bedtime.  Yet, some LOs can't handle the A until bed with a short afternoon nap.

On the days when she sleeps 20 minutes (BTW my LO wouldn't go back to sleep either), when do you put her down for a 2nd nap?

I think 3 naps at this age will really throw things off.

Are you out  a lot in the mornings where you can depend on a short morning nap and then a long afternoon nap in the crib?

[Nekhbet]

I've been putting her down at Normal time, unless obviously tired/OT, when I moved naps forward 1/2 hour and bedtime up to an hour. Unless she sneaks in the 3rd nap.

I managed to rearrange my schedule and drop a number of activities this term as we started having issues. So, most activities are over lunchtime.  Only 2 days/week are we out over naptimes.

I've learned I can't depend on the long afternoon nap regardless though.

I think it is more the pm nap that goes long. The morning one tends to be short. I think I will take your advice and lengthen the morning awake time a bit.

[Nekhbet]

Just put her down after a 3.25-3.5h awake time in the AM. Fingers crossed. She was quoits grizzly and trying to fall asleep on me. Figured I may as well go straight there as doesn't have "normal" routine anyway.

[Nekhbet]

Just over 1 hour nap

[mmom]

That is good.  What are you aiming for?  Are you trying for the long am and short pm?