How to transition to one nap when "normal" has suddenly changed to chaotic

[bbandit]

My son is now 18 months old.  He's been a wonderful sleeper since he hit about 10 months or so.  Up until a week ago he was sleeping like an angel. Here is what his schedule looked like just a short week ago...

7:30 a.m. AWAKE
10:45 a.m. NAP (probably not asleep until about 11)
12:30 p.m. AWAKE and lunch
3:45 p.m. Nap
4:30 p.m. AWAKE and play until dinner
7:40 bedtime and sleep soundly through the night

About a week ago things suddenly changed.  I guess with three kids and school starting I just didn't notice that he was probably showing signs of the 2 to 1 transition.  The first thing I noticed is that his morning wake up time instantly got earlier.  Rather than waking up between 7:30 and 8:00 a.m., it was all of a sudden BARELY 7 a.m.  Then one nap would be super long (up to, and even sometimes OVER 2 hours)...sometimes this was the morning nap and sometimes it was the afternoon one.  The second nap would then be short.  We'd still make it to the normal bedtime of after 7 p.m.  Now, the past three days things have been even more strange.  The morning awake time has become even earlier (yesterday it was 6:30 and today it was 5:45 a.m.).  He has also REFUSED his second nap no matter how bad his first nap was.  Yesterday he took a one hour nap at 11 a.m. and that was IT until bedtime. 

This morning he woke at 5:45 so I tried putting him down with his old A time, at 9-9:15.  He slept for only 45 minutes!!!  I am at a loss b/c my "angel" is now all over the place.

I know the IDEAL way to transition to one nap is to slowly shorten one nap and then bring the other nap forward until they eventually meet.  I've done that with two of my children, and read all about it on the forums.  But how should I do it since I seemed to have missed the window of opportunity?  I feel like his strange wake up times, short naps, and nap refusals might indicate that he's getting OT.  And, how do I slowly make nap time later if his wake up time is now CRAZY?  If I set up ONE nap based on a 5:45 a.m. wake up, then he'd have to go back to bed for the night by like 4 p.m.!!!    I know early bedtimes are okay, but that's WAY too early.

So, is this the time where I just have to do the last resort of going cold turkey?  I don't know where to even start unless I just pick a nap time and go with it.  I know he CAN tolerate one nap b/c he does it every Sunday b/c of our church schedule.  It usually results in a 2 hour nap followed by an early bedtime sometime before 6 p.m. 

Thanks in advance for any suggestions!   

Any suggestions would be appreciated. 

[sianie]

Hi there...

It definitely sounds like he's ready to go to 1 nap & as he's a little older than a lot of LO's who have transitioned to 1 nap he should be able to cope with the longer A-times.

Is he teething at all? This is the age that canines start coming through & I wonder whether this could be part of the issue?

I think if I were you I would be tempted to just go to 1 nap & see what happens, I would maybe start by having him nap at 11am & then gradually push this time back to nearer midday after a few days. If he short naps then do an early BT.....sometimes it can take up to a week for LO's to adjust to 1 nap & it's common for nap lengths to start off short but then to lengthen once they start adjusting. The other thing to consider is that you can always add in a 2 nap day after a 1 nap day if you feel he is getting OT.

Does this help?

[bbandit]

Definitely helps!!  Thanks!  Sometimes you just need reassurance that what you are about to try isn't "wrong".  I think I'll attempt a one nap day tomorrow IF he doesn't have a super early wake up time. 

This morning, his nap was from 9 until 9:45.  I kept him up until 1:15 and he slept until 3:15, so today has turned out alright.  BUT, this is atypical and definitely won't work for everyday.  But, at least I know he's going to sleep rested tonight and will hopefully prevent the early wake up tomorrow.

I haven't seen signs of teeth coming in, but I'll take a peek later. THANKS!

[sianie]

I would definitely give it a go....let me know how you get on! 

[bbandit]

...and, I'm back!!!    I put off the transition b/c he fell back into a two nap routine.  One was significantly shorter than the other, which is probably why we've managed to stay with two naps for so long.  So, this week he VERY suddenly started changing again.  It started with the earlier morning wake up.  Today was 5:45, and I'm used to around 7 (this summer it was 7:30 or even later).  My husband and I decided that the early mornings are probably a result of a long night and two naps...just too much sleep.  So, Monday, it was beyond my control but he didn't take a nap until 12:45.  It turned out AWESOME (even though he was SO exhausted before his nap) b/c he slept for over 2 hours and had a normal bed time.  Since that was just an abnormal day, I went back to "normal" yesterday and gave him his morning nap.  It was fine.  He refused his afternoon nap.   I tried a second time and we let him sleep 30 minutes and kept bed time the same.  It resulted in a 5:45 wake up call this morning.  

To confuse matters even MORE, I tried to give him a morning nap today and this time he refused it!!!  He's never refused the morning nap.  He cried, played, called Momma, etc...Eventually I decided this was my cue to do a "cold turkey" day b/c I had no other choice.  So, after about a 1/2 hour, I got him back up let him play fed him some lunch and put him back down to sleep at 11:20 (this means he had a 5 1/2 hour Awake time).  He slept exactly 1 1/2 hours...which means an early bed time. 

If you are still reading, THANKS!!!  I know this is a rambling mess.  I guess that I'm basically asking what to do???  He will be 19 months tomorrow.  I would be fine to go cold turkey again tomorrow, but I don't know when to pick a nap time with his awake times being so all over the place!  Is 5 1/2 hours long for a 19 month old? 

I'll give you a breakdown of our past 3 crazy days, if that might help.

MONDAY
6:30 wake up
eat, play, etc...
12:45 fell asleep in the car on our way home, transferred to crib and slept a total of 2 1/2 hours
3:15 wake up
7:15 bedtime

TUESDAY
6:10 wake up
9:40 Nap.  Slept a little over an hour
11:00 wake up, lunch, play, etc...
2:30 nap, but he refused it.  He cried, played, etc... for about 40 minutes.  I got him up, let him play and then tried again later.
3:30 second attempt at nap time.  Finally gave in around 4:00, so we let him sleep just a 1/2 hour. 
4:30 awake
7:20 bedtime

WEDNESDAY
5:50 wake up
9:30 morning nap (tried to extend Awake time to 3h 45m) and he refused this nap.  He played, fussed and cried, "MOMMA!" until I got him.  This is when I decided in desperation to try the one nap today.
11:20 nap time.  He slept exactly 1 1/2 hours.
12:50 awake.
BEDTIME - 5:50???  Later?  Earlier? 

[sianie]

Hi! 

As you probably know, EW's can be part of the 2:1 transition. TBH, I would be tempted to push on with the 1 nap (especially as he is now 19mths old & should be able to handle the extra A-time). You might need to ride out a few days of OT & if he short naps whilst he adjusts then do early BT's).

Most LO's around his age should be able to handle around 5/5.5hrs A-time. If I were you I would consider 'setting' a nap time for him so e.g. 11am......stick with this for a few days to allow his bodyclock to adjust (it is quite normal for LO's naps to be short when they first go onto 1 nap...they usually start to lengthen over a period of a few days). Once he's adjusted you can gradually start pushing the nap back towards lunchtime.

As for BT tonight, I would probably aim for him to be asleep by around 6pm.

HTH?

[bbandit]

I was all ready to push through an do one nap consistently...until this morning.  He has been awake since 5:30!!  This weekend he was doing 6 or 6:30 and now we are down to 5:30!!  I really hesitate to do one nap with a super early bedtime, b/c if history repeats itself then his wake up time will just keep getting earlier and earlier too!! 

After yesterday's morning nap refusal, I got him down at the 5h 30m mark and he slept for an hour and a 1/2.  I proceeded with the day as normal and he did pretty good.  By about 5:30 he was getting ridiculously sleepy, so I got him ready for bed.  He was asleep by 5:45 or 5:50 at the latest.  And that resulted in his early wake up today.  I'm concerned with proceeding as normal today b/c everything is going to be a 1/2 hour earlier w/ his wake up time, right?  Or do I still just stick to 11 a.m. even though that will keep him up longer?   

I'll be honest...I am much more concerned with his wake up time than I am how many naps he takes.  For one, b/c I don't like getting up early  and two, b/c I am going out of town in a week and a 1/2 with my husband and I'm having nightmares that my son is going to sleep terribly and wake up at the crack of dawn while his grandparents are here caring for him!    They are doing me a huge favor by watching my kids that week and I don't want them to be miserable.  So, if that means going back to one nap and a cat nap, or switching cold turkey to one nap, I'm in...I just have to try and rid him of these before 6 a.m. wake up times a.s.a.p.!

I have read that a lot of people introduce one nap and one 30 minute cat nap BEFORE making the permanent switch to one nap.  So, in the morning their is a 30 minute quick nap and then a later afternoon nap.  This would allow him to make it to a later bedtime and maybe get out of this OT early wake up business.  What do you think?  When you do a morning cat nap, how do you know when to place it and when to place the afternoon nap?  I'm sorry for the 20 questions...you can probably tell I'm desperate.    He's been a great sleeper for me.  I'm getting desperate b/c I've only been out of town ONE time without him since he was born and right before I left he had a massive sleep regression that stressed me out.  Now, I'm getting ready to leave next week and it's happening again.  Coincidental, I'm sure...but it's hard on this mom who feels a little guilty leaving but also has a million things to do to be able to get ready for this trip.  I need to figure this out!!   

[sianie]

Sorry for the EW! 

You can always alternate 1 & 2 nap days, a lot of Mums do this when their LO's wake early, they do a 2 nap day (which also gets them to a later BT) then a 1 nap day the next day etc. You can add a catnap in late afternoon (I would do 20/30 mins max), although it can make the day long & BT late.

During the 2:1 transition, most Mums do either long AM/short PM nap or vice versa, with the idea being that the shorter nap goes once they go to 1 nap.

Is there any teething going on? Has he got his canines through yet?

[bbandit]

No canines yet.  Yesterday, he was doing something funny with his lips so I thought maybe they were bothering him, but honestly I don't see anything...not even swelling.  He doesn't wake screaming or unhappy.  He plays, kicks, calls, "momma", etc...  So it doesn't seem like pain. 

So, if I do a good nap and one cat nap, should I time it closer to his old A times?  So, a 5:30 a.m. wake up with a first nap at 9:30?  A second nap of 30 minutes would fall around 3:00??  Then bedtime around 7:30?   

Ugh, it's so frustrating.  I don't remember it being so hard w/ my two girls...but maybe it's because I wasn't on a timeline.  

[bbandit]

I put him down at 9:10.  That was 3h 4m of A time.  I was shooting for four hours, but he yawned and started getting fussy.  He was asleep within 5 minutes!  So glad he didn't refuse today!!! 

I'll keep you posted, but hopefully with a day or two of 2 naps he'll be out of the OT and early wake up cycle and we can try this transition again!

[sianie]

Good luck!

[bbandit]

Thanks!  He went down for a second nap at 2:25.  I'm thinking that I'll let him sleep a little over an hour and then he'll be ready for bed around 7:30 tonight.  So today has been great... Slightly under 4 h A time before first nap, slept an hour, 4 hour A time and then an hour nap, which leads to last 4 hour A time and then bed tonight.  But it just hit me...my goal is to get him sleeping later in the morning.   Once that happens, I just don't know how to squeeze in two naps without hi having a super late bedtime.  So, I think I'll try the cat nap on the days that we can't swing just ONE nap.  I started a new thread about it to see when everyone else who has done this timed the cat nap.