13 month old refusing most of his solids

[clairebear79]

Hi ladies

DS is almost 13 months & up to now has been a fairly good eater. 

We have recently started to have quite a few struggles with mealtimes in that he won't eat anything except one or 2 choice meals.  Things he used to eat no problem he is now refusing.  He doesn't like me spoon feeding him much these days (except at breakfast time where he doesn't seem to mind at all  ), & so I have been encouraging him for a while to use the spoon himself (which he's been doing) but he wouldn't even do that today.  And this isn't just limited to spoon-fed meals either.  He's refusing a lot of his finger foods too.  Chicken, potato & veg dinners that he used to wolf & now he won't touch, & so on.  I keep ending up falling back on toast or pasta, which he gobbles up no problem most of the time.  But I can't just feed him that all the time, its not nutritious enough!  I'm actually wondering if he's starting to learn that 'if I refuse this, Mummy will give me toast/pasta' - can he do that at his age   And if he can, what do I do   Just give him nothing   Then I worry he'll be hungry & start waking at night for milk.  Anyone been through this/have any tips

P.S. He is teething ATM, but I don't think this is related to the teeth cutting as its been going on for quite a while now.

TIA.xx

[anna*]

They do have a sudden and significant drop in appetite. And yes, it can be the start of power struggles - mums get stressed over food refusal and that is interesting for them to see what kind of power they have. I would definitely not keep falling back on toast/pasta, offer him lunch - something you know he likes (or has recently liked), plus something else, then leave him to it. If he doesn't eat, that's fine. Mums can't make their kids eat, that's not our job, our job is just to offer nutritious choices for them. It's unlikely he'll wake in the night hungry, but if you're really worried that it will happen (ie it has happened recently?) you could give him a filling snack ie something like a banana last thing before his bedtime milk.

[Shiv52]

I agree with Anna. I would not get into providing alternatives if he refuses meals. They learn quickly at this age onwards. Just keep providing a variety of meals through the week and if he eats fine, if he doesn't thats fine too.

At this age wakening hungry shouldn't really be an issue. M used to have days she lived on air and it didnt affect sleep.

[Lolly]

How much milk is he getting at the moment too? It can fill him up a bit so it's worth thinking about how much he is getting and when!

Laura

[Lemonthyme]

I would bet on teeth.  It's prime teething time 13 months.  I'd just continue to offer foods, continue to offer to spoon feed if he wants, go with it and try and ride it out.  I also find if you offer the same things cut up in a different way he'll try them.  My son, I've realised at 16 months(!) is not a fan of stick shaped finger foods so he will eat sliced crescent shaped cucumber, he will eat whole bananas but he will not eat them if I cut into sticks!

[clairebear79]

Thanks ladies for some valuable advice & reassurance that he shouldn't start waking hungry at night if I don't feed him.  Its not something he's done before its just a little worry that it *might* happen.   I do think this may be more of a 'power struggles' issue rather than teething b/c he will eat select foods with absolutely no hesitation.

offer him lunch - something you know he likes (or has recently liked), plus something else, then leave him to it.

Anna - When you say 'plus something else' do you mean to have an alternative meal (not toast/pasta) at the ready incase he refuses the first meal that he recently liked, or do you mean say offer him shepherds pie plus a piece of fruit/pudding that he would usually have anyway I'm thinking its the latter but just want to clarify.

Laura - he is having 5-6oz milk at breakfast (plus 2oz on his cereal) & an 8-9oz bottle at bedtime & that's it.  I know the guidelines are minimum 12oz, maximum 20oz after age 1 & he's within that, so I don't really want to cut back on his formula if I don't have to b/c he's MPI so not having any other dairy in his diet at all & I don't want him to miss the calcium/fats IYSWIM?

Thanks.xx

[Lolly]

First thing and bedtime is fine for the milk, he's not filling up on it through the day like some do so at least you know that's not the reason for not eating!

Laura

[anna*]

Anna - When you say 'plus something else' do you mean to have an alternative meal (not toast/pasta) at the ready incase he refuses the first meal that he recently liked, or do you mean say offer him shepherds pie plus a piece of fruit/pudding that he would usually have anyway I'm thinking its the latter but just want to clarify.

No alternative meals! I'm saying, if shepherds pie has recently been a hit, then have shepherds pie and some carrot sticks, or green beans, or something that he may or may not entertain eating.

Remember that when he tastes something, keep in heavy rotation for the next couple of weeks until it becomes familiar and accepted - don't leave it for a month or he will have gone off it again!

Also, this really helped with us, don't hover. Give him his food then leave the room or have something to eat yourself and just ignore what's going on. Let him play with is food or lick it or do whatever, it is all exposure and all that squishing and familiarising are all steps towards actually eating it!

[Shiv52]

Yeah i think the less interested you are in what they are eating the better it is.  I'm working on R signing 'enough' when she's had enough rather than chucking her plate overboard and i do tend to just leave her to it until i see she is getting fed up!

[clairebear79]

Thanks Anna.  I thought that's what you meant!

I already leave him to it while he is eating as I too found he eats better that way.  Its only if its something spoonfed that I have to sit with him & that's why I have tried to encourage him to do it, so he gains independence & can eat what he wants at his own pace.

Thanks for the reminder about keeping on offering new foods too.  I think I may need to spend a bit of time in the kitchen this weekend & cook up some new dishes!

[toffer]

I am in the same boat. My LO is almost 14 months and is teething and all of a sudden went from eating loads of food with tons of variety, to chucking it on the floor and refusing a spoon. I worry also about waking hungry. I thought if I made something new he would be happy but refused it all. We were both crying by the end! It is so frusterating!!!