5.5 mo with 4 nw, so tired I am ready to give up

[jussiemariee]

My dd has been on a routine more or less since birth. We have had bumps in the road here and there but since 4.5 mo it has been a downward trend.

She is fully BF, and gets solids 3 times per day.  She is now soundly on a 4hour easy with 2.25-2.5 hour a time which has straightened out 50% of our short naps. I don't think she is hungry when she wakes but I have been feeding her because I am too tired to fight with her.

Here is our day:
E 7:00 she wakes
S:9:15 Sleep
E 10:45 wake up and eat (if short nap, wait and eat at 10:45)
S:1:15
E:2:45
S: 5:15 Cat nap
6:30ish Wake (go for a walk, bath)
7:30 eat and bed.
wake up 10:00 shh pat/ pupd
dream feed 11:00
wake up 1:00
wake up 4:00
wake up 5:30-6:00

Help I am at the end of my rope.  DH works 2 jobs and I am home all day with her.  It is getting to the point where I just dont enjoy my baby anymore I am so tired.

[Khalam's Mama]

Has she ever had less nw? If not i would say she is in the habit of eating at night. Assuming she is a good weight i think you need to commit to a few nights of resettling without feeding. Can you do it when you are home and free a few days so you can nap when she does and go to bed when she does? i did this with my 1st son and it only took 1 night. I am at current on night 3 of doing it with no 2 but we are from 4 nf sometimes and 2hrs settling without to 5 or 10min settling 2x last night which was day 2. I have found he is eating much more in the day now he isn't eating all night. I make sure i give a good df from a full breast or ebm. I am just patting him and playing his white noise and occasionally pupd. What do you think?

[jussiemariee]

That's actually what I had planned for tonight, and DH is only working one job tomorrow late so he is going to take the early shift when he gets home at 11 until 3.  I figured I would feed her if she woke up after 3, but maybe I should be trying to go cold turkey and not feed until morning. 

Re: having less nw, yes she only had one until she was 3 mo, two until she was 4 mo and now for the past 3 wks or so she has had 4.  (I think it is supposed to be going the other way.) 

I do try to nap during the day if I can but I have the problem of only being able to sleep at night, gosh I wish she had that problem... 

[Lisacancun]

hey I am having nw problems as well and I added a feed at 5 p.m. and it has helped reduce night feeds. ( 3 or 4 to 1 or 2) Its only been two days but it helped so far...

[Khalam's Mama]

I you say at least expect her to go as long in the night as in the day. When did you intro solids? Did any nw coincide with that? Has she dropped her milk at all? Any bowel changes?

[jussiemariee]

Update:
I am only feeding her during any waking after 3:00 am. (4hours after df) but she is still waking at between 1 and 2.  It only takes one or two pu/pd for her to fall back to sleep but if I don't do the pu/pd she cries pretty hard.  She then wakes up between 3 and 4 and then again between 5:30 and 6:30.  She will still sleep until 8:30 most days if I do pu/pd at the ew.  I am not sure how to prevent the wakings, if she is not waking for food and she is self soothing back to sleep after pu/pd.

[Khalam's Mama]

Is she stil getting the same naps now? 4.25Hrs is quite alot at this age. Have you pushed her a time anymore? Now she is older she may be able to handle more?

[jussiemariee]

E: 8:30 (solids 1.5 hours later)
S: Between 10:30 and 11:00 (when ever she is so grumpy that I have to put her down) (may be 1.5 hours or may be 45 min)
E: 12:00-12:30 depending when she woke up from first nap. (solids usually 1-1.5 hours later)
S: 2:00-2:30 depending once again on the first nap. (may be 1.5 hours or 45 min)
E:around 4:00 (solids around 5:30)
S: 6:00 (45 min cat nap)
Bath at 8:00
Bed by 8:30 or 9
DF around 11 or when ever she wakes up if I go to bed when she does.
first NW around 2
Second NW around 3:30 or 4 (feed usually)
Third NW or EW depending how you look at it around 6 (sometimes she will stay up, but usually will go back to sleep)

I have tried to stretch her a time but sometimes she can not even do the 2.5 hours other times she can do 2h 45 min. 

She has been crawling since before she was 5 months so I figure she tires herself out sometimes faster than others.

I would say she gets about 3 hours of day sleep (1 long nap and 2 short) and maybe sometimes 3 h 45 min, but that is rare. 

BTW she will be 6mo this week.

[jussiemariee]

It is not getting any better. Still the same wakeups. I even tried w2s and she still woke up. I think the df is causing her to wake and she wont resettle with
Out it. Last night she cried and flung herself around for an hour of pupd and would not let me pat her until I gave in and fed her. She could not be that hungry she had eaten two hours earlier. She did the same thing at 2. I just don't know what else to do.

[*Ali*]

Do you think she could be getting confused that you are feeding at some NWs and not others and that you are sometimes spending time resettling her only to feed in the end? I know it is really hard but if she isn't really hungry you really need to see the resettling through until she drops off otherwise she learns to keep going until she gets what she is used to (a feed) and then expects the same to happen next time.
Does she take a full feed at the 4am-ish NW? What about reducing the time/oz she takes gradually?
And just checking, you do feed her at BT I take it? Only it's not listed in your last EASY above.

[jussiemariee]

Yes... I feed before bed. 

I am not sure she can go all night without a feed.  Last night I tried to settle her at 4 and she cried and fussed until 5:30 when I did feed her.  I wanted to make it through without a feed but she would settle and sleep for 10 min and wake screaming again. (seamed like hunger)  She always takes a full feed but I have a very fast let down so she only feeds for about 5-7min (always been that way) 

Last night she had 3 wakings, 9 (dad settled her) 12 (I fed her)(did not dream feed as I fell asleep) and the 4:00 waking.  She then slept until 8:30. 

I guess I could be ok with 2 night feeds but I feel like at 6 mo she should be able to go longer. She went longer at 6 wks then she does now.

Thanks, you ladies are so wonderful, I am not sure what I would do without you.

[Khalam's Mama]

If she is hungry there is only so much you can do. Could you give her a bottle so you can encourage a smaller feed so she is hungry for 7ish? Both my sons were still having at least 1 nf at 5.5mo. Sometimes ebf babes need it  until they are well established on solids. It is not unreasonable she is still having a feed.

[brenda2]

1-2 night feeds at this age is not unreasonable for EBF babies.  if you want to drop to only 1 then i agree that you really need to just cut out the second feed and settle her without feeding until she goes back to sleep, no matter how long that takes.  if you try for a length of time to settle her and then end up feeding her you are just teaching her to keep up the resisting/crying until she gets a feed if that is what she wants.  it isn't going to work for you.

since you've been doing a df i think i would do the df only and cut out all other night feeds and just settle with shh pat/pupd until she goes back to sleep.  no more feeds.  it would be a hard week but probably she'd get on track after this.  i did this with dd1 at 6 mo 2 weeks and it worked a charm, 2 really hard nights and then  she sttn. dd2 was a bit different as she never took to the df, she didn't sttn until i cut out all night feeds at 8 mo.  sometimes as pp said i think they get confused when you offer a feed at some nws and not others.  i think ti is better to not feed at any when they are old enough to do this which your dd is - and if you do a df then it's sort of like you aren't feeding because she's asleep.

[jussiemariee]

So I did it last night. 

She woke at 1:30 and 3:00 but did not need me.  She just fussed for 2-3 min and went back to sleep.  I did not even go into her room.  At 4:00 like clock work she woke up.  I went in and sat with her until about 5:30.  She did go back to sleep until 6:30.  I had to get up to get my dh out the door for work and could not stop to settle her so I fed her and got her up for the day.  It is a bit earlier than I would like but she went down last night at 7:00 in the car on the way home so I figured it was about 12 hours anyway. 

We'll see how tonight goes...

[Khalam's Mama]

That is good. Hopefully it Will be easier tonight.