Need some advice on 17.5 mo old's eating habits....

[Sam-n-Max's Mommy]

Hi Ladies,

I think I have it all wrong when it comes to my DS's eating.  Was hoping to get some guidance on how I can get him to eat a better variety of foods.  He will be 18 months old at the end of the month.  Here are my questions:

- Should I not be giving him purees anymore? My ped said it's fine and I figured it was fine since he won't eat a *single* cut up fruit or vegetable.  However, I've noticed on here that some people stopped giving purees a long time ago and I'm afraid that maybe it's my fault that he won't eat fruits and veggies that are cut up (or it any form other than puree or hidden) because I have been continuing the puree.  I am able to get veggies into him in other ways -- breads, muffins, in his eggs, etc, but I would like him to eat them - at least one - on it's own!

-He eats the same dinner every night pretty much.  A veggie puree and (healthy) chicken nuggets.  He started to eat some pasta earlier in the week, but then rejected it yesterday so I don't know where we stand with that.  He also tried meatballs and liked them, but won't eat them in his highchair, only for a snack.  I know that I need to start giving him meals that we are eating, I just need to take the plunge.  I know he'll eat when he's hungry, but I'm having such a hard time doing it.  I guess the problem is that he doesn't really like many sides except for his puree.  Someone else was posting about giving chili and rice separately so at least their LO would eat the rice, but I don't think mine would.  If I give him something else that he likes along with the new meal, it would have to be a chicken nugget or a puree (unless I gave some kind of muffin or bread etc along with it) and giving him the nugget seems to defeat the purpose of what I'm trying to do.  What do you think??

Here is what a typical day looks like here:
8am Breakfast - milk, fruit puree (either just fruit or fruit and oatmeal), eggs or pancakes or french toast -- eggs are always mixed with a veggie puree and pancakes and french toast are always mixed with fruit or veggie
10am Snack - he doesn't always have one because he eats so much at breakfast.  If he does it's usually Cheerios -- if he hasn't eaten much of his breakfast, I'll give a muffin or some baked bread
1145am Lunch - is more like a snack.  Usually yogurt, and sometimes a few bites of a sandwich
300/330pm Snack - peanut butter or sweet potato or avocado sandwich (quarter to a half), or muffin, or baked bread (the other day it was a few mini meatballs)
600pm Dinner - milk, chicken nuggets and puree

Any thoughts would be great!! Thanks!

[Shiv52]

I'd say yes.  At 1.5YO LOs should be on normal table food for the majority of their food.  I would have still added fruit puree to porridge at that age but that was pretty much it.  We'd still have the odd fruit pouch now as a snack.  So aside from cereal and yogurt and fruit puree with cereal the rest of food at 1.5 would have been proper food.

At this age eating a variety of proper foods is really really important for developing the muscles of the mouth and tongue and lips and can hinder speech development and ablilty to make sounds if those muscles arent exercised properly.  So chewing meat and veg and fruit all works those muscles in a way eating a puree can't. 

I would make a plan for transition over a week or two and just stick to it.  At this age he will not wake hungry if he doesn't eat solids and you need to trust he will eat when he is hungry and it takes time and exposure to foods to eat them consistently. 

So things like doing a chicken nugget and meatball and some veg for dinner.  Do a veg puree as a dip if you want and he can dip into it.  Or do real fruit and let him dip into a yogurt or fruit puree. 

Can he use a fork and a spoon? 

I would just provide a healthy balanced diet and I don't provide alternatives to our meals and I don't cater to tastes IYKWIM.   Our LOs get what we eat so with the pasta just keep presenting it along with a meal.  If he eats it great, if not that is also fine.

{{{hugs}}} and HTH x

[Sam-n-Max's Mommy]

Thanks, Shiv for such a quick response.  You have been VERY helpful.  I am going to cut out the purees starting tonight.  I always offer cut up veg and fruit on the side of each meal as well.  I know they say something like it could take 10-15 times of being exposed before an LO will eat it, but I have been doing this since before he was a year old - does it sometimes take that long? I know I need to just keep it up and hopefully one day he will eat it.  Should I not offer the same food day after day after day though? For example, if I give him strawberries and he won't eat them, do I keep trying every day for a week and then give it a break, or break it up over a few days? Or once a week? I just feel like I must be doing something wrong because I've been trying so hard for so long!!

And if I give him chicken nugget and meatball and a veg for dinner - should I just limit the chicken nugget to 1 versus the 4 he usually eats so that he is still hungry and hopefully goes for the meatball?

Can he use a fork and a spoon?

He can use a spoon, and had been doing it for say a few weeks, but seems to be going through this phase where he will take a bite, yell and give the spoon back to me for me to do it.  This is only for his purees.  Everything else he eats with his fingers.  I give him a fork and a spoon and show him how to spear the food and leave it on his fork to eat, but only occasionally will he then eat the food off of the fork.  So to answer your question, no, he mostly uses his fingers.  Is there an age where he should consistently use a fork and spoon (or is that now LOL)?

Sorry for all of the additional questions! Thank you so much for your help!!!!

[Shiv52]

For example, if I give him strawberries and he won't eat them, do I keep trying every day for a week and then give it a break, or break it up over a few days? Or once a week?

I tend to do it once a day or every other day so its enough exposure for her to remember it but not too much that she fed up looking at it. 

I just feel like I must be doing something wrong because I've been trying so hard for so long!!

You're absolutely doing nothing wrong.  These kids can just be rascals.  I have been offering R strawberries for about 2 months now and so far she has tasted them a few times and prompting spat it out.  Today at rhyme time the librarian offered her some and she gobbled up 3!  Wee monster.  I swear she picks up I want her to eat the flipping things and so doesn't even though I am very blase about it. 

Don't feel you have to go cold turkey on the puree.  You can use them as dips or I would have used them as a sauce for pasta/rice and because she was familiar with the taste it helped her eat the other stuff. 

Is there an age where he should consistently use a fork and spoon (or is that now LOL)?

LOL!  Probably a bit early yet but just wondered as I know my DD1 was much keener on certain foods when I put them on a fork for her.  Fingers at this stage I'd say is fine!!

And if I give him chicken nugget and meatball and a veg for dinner - should I just limit the chicken nugget to 1 versus the 4 he usually eats so that he is still hungry and hopefully goes for the meatball?

Yes I'd limit.  So 1/2 nuggets and then a few meatballs.   Enough to not create a drama but not enough that he won't still be hungry. 

Picnics and day out were always a success for new foods too. 

I think the best approach is to remember it is our job to provide a healthy balanced diet but remember we can't make them eat.   With families I have worked with we often said if you find yourself making the same meal more than three times a week or providing alternatives to refused meals then something needs to change.

You're doing great.  It does seem like he eats a variety of foods and tastes so it shouldn't take him too long to come round xx

[~Sara~]

I just wanted to drop off some *hugs*!!

As you know from our encounters on the Picky Eaters Thread (PE Anon, anyone? ), it can be challenging to get our LOs to eat what we do.  To this day, DH and I feel like we're beating our heads against a brick wall to get DS away from his staple foods (and we do encourage him to eat new foods!!).  So, I wouldn't lump the purées issue with getting him to try new foods; meaning they're not mutually inclusive ventures.

I'd move him away from the purées, too.  I mean, there are things we all eat that are that consistency, e.g. pudding (I'm thinking American pudding , applesauce, oatmeal, etc.  So, it's good that he likes stuff like that and he'll always have some foods around that he'll harken back to.  What you could try to do, though, is make the purées less and less smoothe.  You said you were going cold turkey, and you can do that, too.  Let us know how things go!!!

[Mom to M&M]

I agree with everyone BUT not necessarily on the puree point. As you know, my DS is quite picky too. We're working on it and he's probably up to about 30 foods he'll eat now (I need to make a new list) but it's still far from ideal. Every night with dinner I offer a pouch of fruit/veg puree (like tonight was spinach, peas, pear) and 90% of the time he happily eats it (feeding himself with it - squeezing it into his mouth). I know that at least he's getting some nutrition and he likes them and it's only part of his dinner. I do still offer regular veggies too but he never eats them (except for sweet potato fries sometimes).

Have you tried the sneaky chef sweet and sassy meatball recipe? My DS LOVES them and I make a big batch and freeze them often.

[Sam-n-Max's Mommy]

Thanks again, Shiv, for all of your advice.  It will be nice to finally make the same thing for everyone!

Thanks, Sara! I definitely need to work on getting him to eat lumpier things.  The other night I made mashed sweet potatoes.  He actually opened his mouth to try them, but once they were in, he looked like he was being poisoned and started gagging and trying to spit it out.  Now, I *know* that it couldn't have been the taste.  They were really sweet and yummy! Plus, he has always liked smooth sweet potato puree and I make a sweet potato sandwich that he really likes, so it's not a taste thing, but definitely texture.  He was really angry with me though.  Yelling and shaking his little fist.  Jeez

Karen - thanks! That is great about DS's food list - that sounds like great progress to me.  I haven't tried the sweet and sassy meatball recipe.  I just looked it up online though and they look delicious so I'm going to try it today. 

Do you ladies put all of the food out on your LO's trays at once? Or one kind of food at a time? Or on a plate? I've been trying different things and some days some things work better and some days not, but I'm not necessarily seeing a consistent pattern.  Sometimes I feel like he does better if he is offered one food at a time, but the problem with that is that I guess he could think I'm offering an alternative if he doesn't eat the first thing etc.  Do you just put a few pieces of each food out or the whole portion? One area of progress that we have made over the past few months is the amount of food being thrown.  Most meals now he doesn't throw anything.  He used to just toss anything on his tray he didn't like and wanted out of his sight lol!

Thanks, everyone!

[Mom to M&M]

Definitely try the meatballs, hope he likes them!

I'll PM you with DS's current food list when I get a chance - it's a hard thing. As for your other question, when I offer a meal I offer it all at once on a plate (or sometimes 1-2 items will be on the side depending). I put out a smaller than usual portion of his favorite and a bit of the new food. So like tonight I'm making homemade fish fingers, homemade fries (baked) and roasted cauliflower.

First he'll come to the table yelling for pasta (as always), then probably have a 2-5 minute tantrum. Once he calms down he will almost always eat the baked fries (so I won't give too many) and last time he did eat one small fish finger!!! I'll also put a piece of roasted cauliflower on his plate but that is ALWAYS refused (but as you said, at last it's not thrown/screamed at anymore). So his plate will have maybe 5-6 fries, 2 fish fingers, 1-2 small pieces cauliflower and then I'll put a pouch of Plum Baby puree (either spinach/peas/pear or purple carrot/blueberry/pear) next to that. The pouch almost always gets at least half eaten by him too. And if he eats at least one fish finger (they are quite small) I'll give him a few more fries.

[Truly Blessed]

Hiya Hon 

So we meet again on the subject of our Sam's being fussy  . Once again having trouble here, but the complete opposite! Our Sam will no longer eat any of his hot shall we say mushed or chopped 'proper' meals. Everything has to be finger food, he's very independant, an even then his diet is limited. So I'm telling you this just to reassure you that things will constantly change and I'm sure your Sam will get used to the finger foods and maybe one day like me you'll be longer for him to eat anything mushed!!!  . Good luck..I'm sure It'll be fine, althought TBH I have a very hard time not stressing about the whole food thing.

(X)

[Sam-n-Max's Mommy]

Thanks, Karen and Vicki -- sorry it has taken me so long to write back to you..

Karen - I have been trying to offer my DS food all at once, with a smaller portion of the favorite.  I think it's better because that way he doesn't refuse because he sees something else he likes better not on his tray and doesn't see me running over to the counter to get some of his favorite when he doesn't try the new food lol.  I have been having more success in general by giving him a little bit of his favorite and a new food. Trust me, he doesn't always try it, but I've been having more luck with the "on the cusp" foods.  I have also found that a snack in between meals makes a HUGE difference as to whether or not he'll try something new (if he's really hungry he'll try it if it looks semi-appetizing lol).

Vicki - I think it is hysterical that we lead parallel lives with our Sams.   Mine has now started to not even want the purees anymore, so I guess he took care of that problem for me lol.  I do wish he'd eat some mashed potato etc, but I'll keep trying.  I think once he uses a fork and a spoon things will be slightly (and I say slightly because he is SO spirited) better.  I try my hardest as too not to stress about food, but it is difficult for me as well.  I place a high value on food (I love to cook and I love good meals etc) so the fact that my offspring would often prefer a chicken nugget to anything else drives me a little batty LOL!! I am trying hard to put my own expectations aside and really show ambivalence towards whether he eats new foods or not.  It does help.

Thanks again!

XXXX

[Lemonthyme]

So isn't he using a spoon yet?  Have you just tried him with one?  My son has days when everything goes on the floor but HE WILL NOT let me feed him anymore (and yes, his attitude is very shouty on that point!)  He's just 17 months now and has been using a spoon on and off for a couple of months.  I find stickier things like mashed potato and fish pie are working best at the moment because it doesn't really matter if the spoon is the right way up (though it is getting better).

What we do is have a stick down bowl and feed him in the kitchen so if the spoon does go flying, it's easier to clean up.  Not ideal I know because I would like to all eat around a table and our kitchen isn't big enough but we're moving soon and the new kitchen / diner has a wipe clean floor...  yay!

[Sam-n-Max's Mommy]

Hi Lemonthyme,

He doesn't use a spoon regularly.  I have been giving it to him though.  He likes me to scoop the food and then he takes the spoon and puts it in his mouth.  I also put my hand over his and scoop to teach him, but he ends up getting annoyed.  I think it's because I'm faster .  At the same time though, we do go through days where he doesn't let me feed him.

I hear you on the messiness though.  Food has been flying here for a very long time (although he is much better with throwing food these days).

[~Sara~]

Re: the spoon...it can take much longer to master than a fork, I've found.  DS still will tip his spoon over as he's bringing it to his mouth and gets seriously ticked if I try to help him keep it steady too much.  With thicker things (like yogurt, casseroles, etc.), he does just fine with the spoon.  But thinner things (like soups), it goes allllllll down the front.  Ahem, see the below case in point...   All you can do is just keep trying.  I tend to view things like utensil usage like I do rolling or crawling or walking: I've never met an adult who couldn't do it!!

[Lemonthyme]

Oh I just make my soups thicker for the time being!!!

[Sam-n-Max's Mommy]

Sara, I LOVE THAT PICTURE! He is so cute!!!!

True on the utensils - I suppose I won't be following DS to high school feeding him with a spoon and cutting his sandwich into little bites at lunch time LOL