Help - 10 month old not wanting to eat bottles...

[prismatrix]

at 8 months we were great - eating 4 bottles of between 5-7 ounces and taking two long naps, sleeping through the night.. great EASY routine. Now at 10 and 1/2 months it has gone all crazy. He is starting to crawl and cruise, and is also fighting an ear infection and cold, but the bottle aversion started a couple of weeks ago.

He eats a few ounces when he wakes up, then refuses to eat until he is ready for a nap, when he will sometimes eat a few more or sometimes finish a whole bottle. But I have to start downstairs until he needs to burp, then go upstairs in the dark with his blanket for him to finish the rest. He does this thing where once the bottle comes out of his mouth, even after just two onces, he is done and decided he wants to move onto other things.

I am afriad it is because I started accidental parenting by giving him milk when he woke up too early from a nap, thinking he was hungry... or gave him a snack before bed so he wouldn't wake up hungry. Now i think maybe he has a strong association with bottles and bedtime?

I don't know, just very frustrated. Help, please!!!!

Also, baby has a cleft lip/palate with 3 surgeries done so far and many to go. So he gets his meal bottles with formula mixed with some baby cereal and puree baby food. Purees by themselves go up his nose. He does eat table food and finger food as snacks. I sometimes give him just milk as a snack, too, like mentioned above.

-Laura

[~Sara~]

Hi Laura!  It was at about this age when my little guy was ready to drop to 3 bottles a day.  One in the am, then one around lunchtime, then another before bed.  Maybe your DS is ready to do that, too.

[Lolly]

I agree, he could be ready to drop a bottle or space foods out a bit more at the least. Can you post how your day goes feeding wise - what times does he have bottles and solids and how much?

Laura

[prismatrix]

I can do my best - every day is different...

7:00AM-ish - wake up and eat... only eats about 3 ounces (This is a "meal bottle" - has cereal and baby food mixed in, which he used to down about 5-7 ounces of)

7:30-8:00 try finger foods for breakfast - beans, cereal, fruit etc. Sometimes eat a lot, sometimes doesn't eat hardly anything.

10:00-ish - snack of just formula or rest of breakfast bottle... so hopefully he will sleep through a nap - sometimes eats a few ounces, sometimes he doesn't
10:00/10:30-ish - NAP

11:30/11:45-ish - Try a second meal bottle, which he usually only eats about 2 ounces - used to eat the whole thing almost
1200 - finger foods - still doesn't eat a lot.

Play time, errands, etc.

3:30/4:00 ish - second nap, 3rd meal bottle. This one I start downstairs and he eats a few ounces, then we finish up in his nursery and he eats most of the rest - seems really hungry and tired by this time, and when he is tired and I split the feeding into the two places he does really well.

4:00-5:00 ish - NAP (sometimes just a cat nap)
 500-ish - sometimes attempt a formula snack, usually doesn't work. Play until dinner

630-ish Solid finger foods (my husband comes home late, so this is dinner time)

8:00/8:30 Final meal bottle. This one we start downstairs again and finish upstairs. Usually eats about 6 oz
9:00 Down for the night, sleep through the night but wakes up a few times and puts himself back to bed

hope this helps. Each day is different. I am basically attempting a bottle each time he wakes up and before his naps or bedtime just to try to get more liquids down him. He has always been a small guy (healthy, but smaller), and nutrition is key, esp with another surgery coming up in November.
Also, sometimes he wakes form his first nap and eats a few ounces, then goes back to bed for another hour.

He used to eat well 3x a day - after he woke up for the day, and after each nap, then would eat a 4th bottle before bed like a champ, as well. Now things are all crazy.

He is upstairs crying right now because he has been fussy the whole morning, but doesn't want to take a nap. It is like I have a different baby this last week or two... I don't know what happened to my son.

[prismatrix]

I just went upstairs and saw that he was standing and crying. I offered the bottle once more and he used it as a prop to fall asleep. I know I shouldn't offer it so much, but I am worried about him getting not only enough nutrition, but enough liquids, as well. I want to try to get back to a routine of eating and getting my son falling asleep without me again, but I am not sure how when he won't eat a good breakfast, and won't seem to fall asleep without my intervention. I could prob try PU/PD again, since we have done that in the past, but I am really, REALLY dreading it because he is more strong, mobile, and older and it would be a 2-3 hour battle of screaming and throwing up. When he gets really upset the only thing that calms his down is distraction.. you can hear the uncontrolled panic in his cries.

Help?

[~Sara~]

It seems to me that he might not be hungry because he's getting food/formula too often (for him).  At this age, LOs are typically able to go at least 4-4.5h in between milk feeds, formula in your case.  I'm not sure if he needs a topping off before his nap, either, since he has both milk and solids before it.  Does that make sense?  What I see above is that he eats at 7 then at 10.  He just probably isn't hungry, but then whatever he eats then throws off his appetite for right after his nap.

What if you tried something like this:
Awake/E:7am--milk
E: 8am--solids/finger foods
S: 10am--nap for 1.5h (if he's fighting this nap or nap is short, it might be time for an A time increase; not necessarily more food beforehand)
E: 11:30am(ish)--milk
E: 12:30pm--solids/finger foods
S: 2:30/3--nap for 1.5h
E: 4:30pm(ish)--milk
E: 5:30--solids/finger foods
Then do evening routine, BT routine, top-off bottle before bed
S: by 7:30pm

Have you seen these sample routines? http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=164031.0
I think you might find them helpful to see what other LOs are doing at this age, too.  I just have a sneaky feeling that he might be ready for a routine tweak, which is why I posted that link. 

However, if he's sick or not feeling well in any way, that can throw off his feeding/appetite AND his sleep.  I'd just make sure him not feeling well isn't the culprit first.  Or the developmental leaps it sounds like he's taking.  No need to build in a prop to resettle him, but he might need some extra comfort if his body is feeling the need to pull up on things a lot right now.

Also, forgive my ignorance, is there a medical reason why he gets meal bottles instead of just plain formula?

Btw, just noticed that you're in UT.  DH and I used to live there--beautiful place

ETA: LO might not want a BT bottle if he's only just had a big dinner.  And you can switch the 2nd bottle/solids and 3rd bottle/solids combos (meaning, you can offer solids first and then a bottle).

[prismatrix]

I will definitely try a routine tweak and take a look at that link. Thanks you so, so much for your help and what you do for all the moms here. I really, REALLY appreciate it. Hearing from you has just taken a huge weight off my shoulders.

Daniel gets "meal bottles" because he was born with a bad cleft lip and cleft palate. He has used a special bottle his whole life because he does not have the ability to suck.

I tried purees when he was younger, and sometime he did ok, sometimes he didn't. The problem is, that even though he has had 3 surgeries already, food still goes up his nose. He sneezes out bits of everything he eats, and purees especially are more prone to clogging his nose and making him very uncomfortable. Some kids with clefts get used to it, but we went too long after his last lip/nose surgery without attempting purees.. so when we tried again it became an all out battle. One mommy with a boy with the same condition suggested I do what she did - put some cereal and puree in his bottles to give him extra calories since eating solids is such a challenge. I think the way the bottle squirts in the back of his mouth helps prevent it from going past the prosthetic palate and up his nose. This worked like a charm, until recently, and got him consistently sleeping through the night, since he finally had enough calories during the day.

She would mix a 1/4C cereal (not sure the metric amount) of cereal with 4oz of formula and add a scoop of meat puree, veggie puree and fruit puree to make about a 6 oz bottle or so. I have been taking about 6 oz of formula and adding just two scoops of puree and a few Tablespoons of cereal to his bottle - so not nearly as thick.

SO back to the routines, it looks like I should space out bottle to every 4-5 hours, with finger foods kind of tiding him over an hour or so after he eats a bottle? Basically feeding him when he wakes up (like I used to), with some milk before bed? Also, he usually takes a long nap in the morning, but the afternoon nap is often a struggle unless I can rock him back to sleep. He wakes after the first sleep cycle of 35-40 min or so. Additionally, he used to get tired after 3 hours of awake time in the afternoon, but putting him down for his second nap became a struggle until I extended the awake time to about 4 hours.. but by then he was hungry, too, so that started the meal before his second nap...

My worry is, what if he only eats 2-3 ounces when he wakes up, since that is what he does in the morning? Do I just go about the routine as usual until he realizes he only gets a bottle those 4 times a day?

And if he is hungry before his first nap, since he only ate a couple of ounces, do I just comfort him the best I can, and try to get him to sleep? It seems when I have done that in the past then he will wake up a little while later very hungry, and when I give him a bottle he will want to fall right back asleep...

For example
730 Milk, 2 oz
8/830 finger foods

10/1030 nap
1100 wake up crying
1115 milk, fall asleep while eating because he is still tired....

He has been fighting an ear infection, but the eating problems started slowly a couple weeks before, and now they are just worse. I am hoping that after 3 days on medicine that he is getting over the ear infection. Plus, falling asleep has been much more difficult for him because he is trying to pull himself up and sitting up and learning to crawl on all fours instead of scooting on his tummy - all these things just in the last two weeks! I think because of that I also did some APOP with the bottle and rocking him to sleep, and am now paying for it.


Sorry - so many questions and "what ifs" - I have never been one of those people that can easily "just go with it." I struggle knowing what to do and what is best.

Thanks so much -
-Laura

[Lolly]

I know he has problems with the cleft lip and palate, but does his Dr know you are putting food into his bottles? Formula gets thickened for feeding problems and reflux, but adding food and cereal to a bottle is a choking hazard as it isn't thickening evenly. In the UK especially, the advice is never add anything to a bottle unless directed by a Dr and we would use a non-food thickener like carobel which thickens evenly and makes the thickness of the liquid more controlable (is that a word? ).

That combination of food and cereal in his formula must be very filling, he is eating quite frequently for his age so really he is snacking through the day which is probably why he isn't taking much at the feeds. You need him to be hungry to get a decent feed which will fill him up for his next feed. Have you been given any advice on solids/ liquids from the team looking after him? Can he drink water at all or is it too thin for him?

I think I would cut back on the foods you are putting in his bottles so that he is hungry for his solids. Milk is higher in calories than cereal and veg puree so if that thickened meal milk is taking space in his tummy he may well be actually getting less calories than if he was having milk thickened with a non-food thickener. If he is able to handle finger foods how is he with mashed table foods rather than purees?

It does look as if he is using the bottle as a prop for sleep as well, which is also contributing to the snacking. If you give him milk before sleep you need to move it away from the actual sleep time and I would stop giving it to him mid nap too, offer a drink of water if he needs it but re-settle him which ever way works for you. It will be a hard couple of days, but if you stick to it it won't take long to break the habit.

I noticed in an earlier post that you are sometimes giving him the rest of his breakfast bottle about 3 hours later. Is this the same bottle or are you making a fresh one? If it's the same it would be better to make a fresh one as bottle feeds should be discarded about an hour after a baby has started drinking from them. Milk washes back into the bottle as they drink and bacteria from their mouths gets into the milk, the bacteria can breed really quickly in milk and has the potential for making them ill.

Sara gave you some very good routine advice, definitly have a look at the link and see about altering his eating routine to one which will hopefully help things improve for you both.

Laura

[prismatrix]

Our pediatrician knows about the food-bottle mixes. We mixed food in initially so his tummy WOULD get full, because he wasn't getting enough solids between bottles and it seemed he was waking up in the middle of the night hungry.

The issue wasn't needing thick liquid - anything from his bottle goes down just fine, whether is is juice, formula etc. The issue was that puree and cereal (any sort of goopy-like food) would go straight up his nose, but when it is in the bottle it gets squirted further back his mouth so it doesn't go up his nose.

Maybe the food is too filling for him now, like you say. He used to be on a great routine around 8 months, with 3 hours of awake time or so, taking two long naps, and eating 5-7oz of his "meal" bottles when he woke up for the day and after each nap, making about 4 hours between feeds, with a milk top off before bed. But it has all slowly started going downhill, probably because of my accidental parenting when he hit some milestones or was teething or something. I don't know.

Some mashed foods are ok. He only tolerates being fed for a few spoonfuls, then refuses to eat unless he can feed himself - thus the finger foods instead of mashed or ground food. Sometimes while he has finger foods on his plate I can sneak in a few more bites of mashed food, but just a few.

When I give him the rest of his breakfast bottle, it is the same one, just re-warmed (it goes in the refrigerator as soon as he is done the first time - if there is any left after the second time it gets dumped). With his special bottle there is a one-way valve so no liquid gets back-washed. I just rinse out the nipple really well, because that is where the bacteria would be. His bottle lets liquid into the nipple, but not back out. That way he can bite the nipple and it squirts into his mouth. He can't suck at all. It may not be the best thing to do, but we have been doing it his whole life and so far so good. He has never been sick until just recently with the ear infection. Just lots of APOP and fussiness with each surgery.

So I will try just giving him milk in his bottles for a few days to see how it goes, and try giving him some water if he wakes mid-nap. I will also be sure to let a good 4 hours go between each bottle, and feed him finger foods an hour after each bottle.

Hopefully all goes well the next couple of days. I have a feeling there will be lots of crying, esp when I put him to sleep for his first nap and he has only eaten just a couple of ounces and few bites of finger foods.

He may have to skip his first nap all together with all the possible crying and then I could feed him at the appropriate time, just making sure he doesn't fall asleep to the bottle? But maybe I will be surprised and he will do really well.

Sometimes I wish is could be easy all the time, but once you figure your LO out they decide to change... *sigh*
Thank you very much for your response. I appreciate the help.

-Laura (You have a great name, by the way )