Cold turkey to 1 nap - OT disaster - & now resisting 2 naps aarrrgggghhhh!!!

[clairebear79]

I think Claire has tried to get him back to sleep but unless he resettles himself he will not go back over.  Same for extending naps. 

This is right.  when he wakes early we just leave him to it in his cot in the dark.  I don't go in b/c he will & does expect to get up.  Sometimes, he will chatter a little then go back to sleep for a while, but it doesn't happen often.  We don't go to him or get him up until 6am at the absolute earliest.  Sadly no amount of APing will get my LO off to sleep.  And trust me we tried when we had the 6 month stint of EW before.

But i think to try a one nap day and EBT is going to cause the most problems overall. 

This really worries me.  B/C this is what we've done again today.  What choice do I have though???  I wish someone could get us out of this hell hole.  Seriously I cannot wait for my child not to need a nap at all anymore.  How awful to wish the time away, but the 3-2 nap transition took 6 months to put right & I CANNOT face another 6 months of EW & messy naps.  I NEED to get this sorted.


Charli - I like your routine, but Shiv is right - I already know that my DS won't go down after just 3hrs A in the morning.  And he can do more like 3.5hrs A after a 30min nap.  I do actually think I *might* be able to get him down after 3.5hrs A for his morning nap, but I really would need to keep the nap fairly brief in order to have him sleep for his PM nap AND give him enough A time to BT.    

Shiv - I think if we are carrying on down the long AM nap route (which I will certainly do for a little while longer at least) then I may have to concede & cap the AM nap at 1.5hrs.  I really don't like it though, b/c if he still refuses the CN anyway, his BT will need to be even earlier & his OT will worsen.  Its a very risky strategy for me.  Also, do you think I would be better sticking with a set time for the nap rather than a set amount of A?  The fact that his nap started at 10am the last couple of days isn't helping our situation at all - as Sara said, this combined with EBT is just reinforcing the EW. 

The only time we've actually had decent WU's in the last few weeks was when we got rid of his OT by doing 2 naps again.  So maybe it IS what he needs.  I really can't keep trying for PM naps in the car every day long-term, its costing me a FORTUNE in fuel.

Thing is, I need to do whatever I can to push his WU later ATM don't I?  B/c while he carries on waking early, we can't really give him the EBT that he actually needs to cope with the 1 nap transition.  Oh ladies, am I really best to proceed with long AM nap???  If I revert back to short AM, how do I do it?  Just go cold turkey with set nap times & hope that he gets it within a couple of weeks   As this will make him OT to start with too, if I push him til 10am nap & cap it right back to 10mins.

[Kay Dee]

Claire, FWIW I think you're best sticking to the plan. It's going well, you're getting great naps, and yes there's some OT at bedtime but that's to be expected during transitions like this. If you keep at it, pushing the nap on by 15mins every few days then you'll soon be able to push on BT and wake times. And if you can get a catnap in any day then all the better.

He does seem like a boy who needs consistency so I'd be afraid changing again would mess things up  

[Truly Blessed]

Claire Honey,

I agree with Kdee  Stick with it Hon..please (with the greatest respect) don't change it up again. The great naps are a sign that Oliver is getting with the programme and I believe that every day he does that (uncapped) his OT will improve and because of that his night times will improve in turn. 'The more he sleeps the more he will be able to sleep' (yes The parrot' returns LOL  ) Even if 6pm BT becomes the short term norm and he sleep untill 5am or 5.30  I know God forbid..but if it he consistently sleeps 11 hrs minimum at night plus 2 hour nap then that's 13 hours which is pretty good and I do think that would be enough for you to be able to push on and get the day later once the poor Bubba feels better. I guess it's all about keeping the faith through the wobbles  .

(X)

[clairebear79]

Thanks ladies.  I did say earlier that changing things up was a worry for me too (don't know if you saw that).  I'd really rather just work him towards 1 nap but I am so, so frightened that its all going to come crashing down again & we will be getting up at 4am come next week.  So please understand why its a tempting thought.

He's had a little WU at 9pm tonight, but no crying at 7/8pm like last night.  So here's hoping tomorrow's WU isn't too horrendous & we can carry on with the plan.

Ladies do I keep with the 4.75hrs tomorrow?  We made a bit of a big jump as we only did 1 day at 4.5hrs before pushing on again, b/c I had fears he wouldn't nap very long at nursery today so I asked them to do 4.75hrs. 

[Shiv52]

I'd stick to 4.75 A time.  I think given that a CN is difficult to get you are best getting to one nap as soon as possible within reason obviously!!! 

Honestly in 2 weeks you'll be wondering what all this fuss was about xxxx

[clairebear79]

I really hope you're right!!!

He woke at 5am, chattered/dozed on & off til 5.15am & then shouting.  Had a quiet 5mins from 5.30-5.35 but I'm not sure if he actually went to sleep or not.  We got up at 6am.  So bit unsure what to class as his wakeup for today.  I think it was 5.15am.  Siigh.

It seems he is not going to extend his nights, doesn't it?

He's just gone off with grandma.  I've told her to do 10am nap, but wake him after 1.5hrs & then try again for a 30min nap from 3.30-4pm.  I can't believe I am having to cap his nap when he is doing 4.75hrs A time before it.  Is that a really bad idea or the only option for our current situation???

[Shiv52]

I think you need to get him through to proper bedtime tonight otherwise your option is let him sleep as long as he wants and then another EBT so if he sleeps 2.5 hours to 12.30 then he really would need to be in bed at 5.30 at the latest which I think is getting silly KWIM?

[Truly Blessed]

Morning Claire and everyone,

Shiv: Sam was younger than Oliver and going 6 hours after a 45 minute nap in the early stages of the transition...is there no way Oliver can go longer  I'm concerned that he's finally extending his naps and if they're capped he's not being allowed to catch up which is what he desperately needs. If his naps extend then his nights should follow suit shortly after. I have a feeling he is going to refuse that cat nap always, now he's at 4.75 A time.

Hey Claire, I PM'd you sweetie...as always  .

[Shiv52]

Maeve was always able to manage 5.5 hours at this age which is whenwe switched cold turkey to one nap.  I did though AP a CN every 4-5 days for 3-4 weeks just to keep OT at bay. My concern is Claire is pretty sure if she pushes the A times too much he will be in an OT mess. 

If you did think it was worth the push Claire I would cap the nap today and make sure you get a CN (give a really really decent A time after 1.5....so more like 4.15/4.30pm (you need him to sleep so slightly OT is your friend here) and then 7pm ish bedtime.  With a decent bedtime hopefully you'll get a more reasonable wake tomorrrow and then you could definately push to 5 hours either side of the nap.  And if he does a 2 hour nap or more then you are set for at least a 12 hour day. 

My concern with the way it is going is you will get to one nap but your day could be 5.30-5.30 with all the EBTs and then you'll have to start shifting everything which could take ages.  KWIM?

[clairebear79]

My concern with the way it is going is you will get to one nap but your day could be 5.30-5.30 with all the EBTs and then you'll have to start shifting everything which could take ages.  KWIM?

This is absolutely my concern too Shiv.  And I could cry b/c I've just had enough of getting up so early.

Vicky I totally know your thoughts re: why we need to let him sleep & boy do I want to today b/c his eyes are red-rimmed & he has huge bags again.  But I fear that if I do, Shiv is right, we will get CN refusal & be stuck in an EW, EBT cycle.  And the only way to get out of that is to keep on pushing his AM A time anyway. 

Oh I am so torn.  I want to let him sleep in the hopes he'll tag onto his night, BUT on past experience I just don't think its going to happen.  He only ever tags on when he gets so OT he crashes. So I think today capping the nap is worth a shot, even though he is probably going to be OT with it.  It might give us the nudge we need to help shift the nap back nearer to 11am.

Shiv - I will ask Grandma to watch him carefully & decide when to put him down - somewhere between 4-4.5hrs A.  How long do I let him sleep?  If he goes down for a CN at 3.30pm I could let him do 30mins & BT at 7pm.  But if he goes down nearer 4pm if I do 30mins he'd need a 7.30pm BT which makes his day 14.5hours.  I can't see this is going to help things either.  15mins??  But then thats still only 1h 45mins sleep for an almost 14hr day.

Oh I am so lost ladies.  Why is my boy so tricky???  All the other folks on here seem to just switch to 1 nap & it works.

PS Shiv - lasttime I followed O's cues in the AM for a 1 nap day, he didn't actually show he was tired until 5.5hrs A.  And he did a fab nap.  But combining that with 5hrs A on the other side of his nap was too much & he struggled the next day.  I do wonder if I could get him onto a 5.5hr A time, 2hr nap, 4.5hr A to BT he might do a 12hr night.  Eventually
Wake: 7
Nap: 12.30-2.30
BT: 7-7.30

[Shiv52]

If he goes down for a CN at 3.30pm I could let him do 30mins & BT at 7pm.  But if he goes down nearer 4pm if I do 30mins he'd need a 7.30pm BT which makes his day 14.5hours.

I think that is fne for 1 day when you look at the overall goal.  Honestly I don't think you'll  get a CN before 4pm at the earlier.  I would be careful of using his cues to judge it as he was yawning yesterday at a longer A time than 4 hours and he didn't sleep on the way home.  I would do 30 minutes. 

[clairebear79]

He's starting to short nap on us again ladies.  Grandma just text me to say he slept 10-11.30am & woke himself at the 1.5hr mark.  This was after 4.75hrs A.  She said he's in a very good mood.  UT/OT???  So C/N is a necessary today.  I REALLY hope Grandma can get it!

[Kay Dee]

Personally I wouldn't class that as a short nap! Bearing in mind that my ridiculously low sleep-needs girl old hasn't had a nap that long since she was 12 months I think it could be a sign to increase to 5hrs tomorrow. Hopefully it'll be a good chance to get a catnap in today and get to a reasonable bedtime. Fingers crossed x

[clairebear79]

I don't mean short like 30mins short, but I mean shorter than the 2hrs I would have expected!!!  Lets hope it IS a sign that he needs longer A & not a sign OT is building.  FX'd.

[Shiv52]

Yes I'd say it's a sign of needing more A time.  Even if it is OT you are at the stage where you just need to push through it now.  You're lucky in that at least you get some long naps.  M was 1.5 hour naps until 3-4 weeks into one nap. 

He really needs a CN today so I hope he plays ball.  I'd still aim for a good long A time after 1.5 hours before you'd get her to try for a CN.