Cold turkey to 1 nap - OT disaster - & now resisting 2 naps aarrrgggghhhh!!!

[clairebear79]

Oh ladies I could cry. 

He refused the CN.  MIL put him down at 3.45pm (4h 15 A) b/c she thought he looked tired & she left him in bed until 4.15pm but he screamed the whole time & wouldn't have it.  So she got him back up. 

They were late bringing him home & didn't get here until almost 5.45pm.  I got him ready for bed immediately & PD at 6.10pm.  He's just fallen asleep at 6.30pm & I am sure I'll be in for some OT NW's tonight.  So our day has been:

Wake: 5.15am
A = 4.75hrs
Nap:  10.00 - 11.30am
A = 7hrs 
BT:  6.30pm

This really isn't going well is it   We are now in an early wake, early nap, early BT trap & he is all way OT yet again & I don't know how to get us out of it.  And he looks absolutely horrendous again.  It wouldn't be so bad if he was waking at a later hour b/c I COULD do EBT to keep ontop of OT, but a 6pm BT is'nt really EBT when he's getting up at 5am every day.  What is going on???  Is he still UT, even with almost 5hrs A???  Or have I just pushed too far

I am so close to taking Charli's suggestion to reinstate an AM CN.  Maybe it would rescue us from this situation  Or do I need to just increase the A time to 5hrs tomorrow & then gradually work on shifting the nap later & later, by maybe 5mins every day until the nap is nearer lunchtime, in order to shift his WU later?  And in the meantime keep BT at 6pm or 5hrs A time whichever is later?

Any thoughts    (Please!)

[Kay Dee]

Oh Claire, sorry you're upset This transition is tough going but my thinking is that the catnap refusal is showing that he's well ready for one nap and you should push to 5hrs A time tomorrow. My worry with going back to the AM catnap is that you might not get a decent PM nap. I had this with DD when we were going to 1 nap in that any kind of catnap in the AM usually meant a 45min PM nap for us and then we'd end up OT with two short naps, neither of which were restorative enough so we had no choice but to go to one nap. With O refusing a catnap as it is I worry that he would be the same.

I would suggest a 5hr A time tomorrow and to just ride out any OT for a little while longer. You're nearly there! And I do think O is showing he's ready by refusing the catnap every day.

Best of luck for tonight. He might surprise you and do a good one after the shorter nap today x

[Shiv52]

Hun I think you need to stick with it and be consistent.  This is going fine and is normal for a transition.  I wouldn't change anything yet.  Hopefully with a normal (ish) bedtime you'll get a later wake up tomorrow.   I would do 5 A time tomorrow.

I honestly would not use sleepy cues hun to determine your CN.  I think 4.15 was too early to try whether he looked tired or not.  I'd have run him ragged for at least 4.5 if not more then tried.   In this switch you need to make sure they are really tired for it to be a success.  As I said earlier, a bit OT is your friend to get a CN.  

[clairebear79]

Thanks ladies.  I am going to stay with it, I'm just having a little wobble I think.

As for CN today, after our discussions earlier I gave MIL a guide of 4-4.5hrs & left it up to her to decide when.  Clearly that's not a good idea anymore.  I'm hoping that C/N shouldn't need to be a worry anymore anyway as I shouldn't be needing to do it if he's doing 5hrs A right?

If we get another early start tomorrow say 5am do I just do the 5hrs A & EBT?  Or would you suggest I try for a C/N to push BT later?  Or only try for C/N if he does another short nap?  It feels like I am wasting my time with the CN TBH.  We spend almost an hour driving around, it costs me fuel & he doesn't sleep.  Wouldn't I just be better running him ragged at home & doing EBT?

[Shiv52]

I would do 5 hours A time and let him sleep as long as he wants and then at least 4.5 hours to bed, and I would push that to 5 hours if he does a 2 hour nap.  I think you need to make sure you are getting a decent(ish) bedtime to ensure you do get stuck in the EBT loop. 

To be fair to O he is actually doing really well with the transition.  He has done a proper nights sleep and a great nap every day for ages.  His waking isn't actually an EW as it is at least 10 hours night sleep (just earlier than we'd like!) and his naps have been at least 1.5 hours.  So do try to see the positives too!! 

I would push the A time out tomorrow.  And stick at 5 hours for 3-4 days. 

[clairebear79]

So do try to see the positives too!!

That is very true.  I know the WU isn't technically EW but it is very early LOL! 

If I keep with it I guess we'll get there.  Yes def stick with 5hrs for the next few days

[Shiv52]

I honestly think you are doing the right thing. 

I do think even if you reverted back to short am-long pm you'd still end up in a pickle as he'd refuse the pm nap at stage anyways!!

[clairebear79]

Woke crying several t imes before 10pm then woke again at 4.40am for 5mins then up for the day at 6am.  11.5hrs of sleep (albeit a bit disturbed). 

Ladies I am going for the 11am nap but I am extremely worried about his OT.  He is most definitely tired this morning, his eyes are red rimmed & puffy, his face is grey, he is fussing a lot & he keeps laying down on the floor & rubbing his eyes & its only 8.30am.  I think going 5hrs might send him over the edge into short nap territory again.    Please tell me things are going to get better Its this that makes me doubt he's ready for it.

[Shiv52]

Amazing night!  And yay for a proper wake up.  (See the positives!!!)

Yes he may be getting OT but this is where you need to push through.  The OT is inevitable unfortunately.  It may take 3-4 weeks to get through it but you're getting there.  No point confusing his poor wee body now by reducing A time.  His wee body needs consistency to get through this. 

5 hours to 11am sounds great.  let him nap as long as he wants and then proper A time to bed.   Remember anything over 1.5 for a nap in the transition is fine. 

[clairebear79]

Ladies, we made the 5hrs A time, it ended up a touch over  by the time he settled at 11.07am (he was a wee bit loopy & took a little longer than I expected to go off).  And he has just woken at the 45min mark.  Sounds like he is resettling.  I suspect we are going to get an OT nap of no more than 1.5hrs today.  I sure hope I'm wrong. 

[clairebear79]

1.5hr nap.    

Not really a surprise.  I just KNEW that would happen after yesterday, & esp when he woke at the 45min mark.  If I'd have done a 4hr A time I bet he'd have slept 2hrs+.    Is this b/c his A time is still too short or is it just the way it goes while adjusting to the long A's i.e. its an OT nap

I'm going to my mum's this afternoon & we will be coming home at around 4pm so that's his only opportunity for CN.  I don't think he'll take it since it'll only be 3.5hrs A.  So guess it looks like another 6pm BT right?  And that's STILL 5.5hrs A after his nap.  Siigh.

This means to match today's WU he'll have to sleep 12hrs overnight, which I suspect is rather unlikely.  Ladies, I had it suggested to me to count A time from the time we get up i.e. 6am rather than from the time he wakes.  So If he wakes at 5.30am then we don't get up til 6am & then count 5hrs A from there so 11am nap.  As if I just count it from when he wakes, his nap would be 10.30am, which is again way too early to start the day.  Obviously if he wakes later than 6am then we just count 5hrs A.  So its kind of like saying the absolute earliest I will put him down for a nap is 11am.    I certainly think it could help to stop encouraging his EW, but if he wakes super early eg 5am then he could be in for a super long A time to his nap.  What do you all think? Is this a better way to help stabilise his WU & nap

[Truly Blessed]

Hi Honey,

Sorry for the late reply I've been out all morning. I know it doesn't seem like a great result but 1.5 hours is a good nap. Like I said yesterday the 45 OT no resettle nap (we had one today  ) are the really dreadfull ones as even with 6 hrs to BT it's too early!

WRT A time..I absolutely wouldn't count from getting up. I feel like you're understandably desperate to speed things up and make it better sooner, but patience and consistency is the key..I know you know that sorry  it's just that I know how hard that can be when you're in the thick of it to keep the faith. And as I've said before because you've been trying to get Oliver into a good routine for so long it's hard for you to visualise anything actually working anymore..but it will and Oliver is closer than he has ever been at this stage. Stick with the 5 hours and let's wait for those 12 hour nights to kick in  Personally I'm not sure I'd even give the cat nap (we never did) as it may prolong things..I have a feeling others may disagree with that though LOL. I guess what I mean is I'd keep it for days when there's no option, like if (God forbid) he has a 45 minute nap, no resettle.

Bye for now Hon.

(X)

[Kay Dee]

That's a shame he didn't do a longer nap BUT it's still great progress - it's the same nap length as yesterday but a whole hour later!

Personally I would aim for a 6.30pm bed again as it worked well yesterday. I know it's 6hrs A time but he should be more able for it today after the later wake-up and later nap. I think if you can work towards a set bed time around 6.30pm that might be the best way to stabilise WU time and nap time. What do you think?

x

[Shiv52]

Is this b/c his A time is still too short or is it just the way it goes while adjusting to the long A's i.e. its an OT nap

Its just him adjusting. 1.5 hours is totally fine for a nap at this stage. 

I would not set his nap at this stage, I would keep counting 5 hours from wake up like you are doing.  Doing 5 hours from a wake up is totally fine and would not be encouraging it plus I don't think we can refer to O's early wakes as EWings in the true sense as he always has a proper amount of night sleep.  KWIM? 

I agree I wouldn't do a CN and just do 6pm bedtime.

[Shiv52]

How did you get on?