Need help with 23 month old gone from brill to nightmare!

[bettybubs]

Our 23 month old has always been great at going to bed. Bath, book, in his cot by 7.15 latest and put himself to sleep. We introduced a glo clock a few weeks ago and he would set it himself, we even got rid of his dummy! He has a 1.5 - 2 hour midday nap. We have just been on holidays to my dads in France where there were lots of family staying due to a family wedding. We kept his routine exactly the same and he was fine until the last 2 nights when he would't go to sleep. We hoped it would get better at home, but no change. It is taking 1-2 hours and lots of screaming and crying to get him to sleep. He is very clingy to me and doesn't want me to leave the room. We have tried patting, but he just giggles. Tonight we did a bit of what I guess is CC and eventually he went off after a bit of back patting at 9.00pm. Desperately need to crack this and get our great sleeper back as I am due with our second in 4 weeks!

I think he has his 2 year molars on the way which I'm sure isnt helping.

Any and all advice appreciated!

[sianie]

Hi there...

I was going to say from what you've described it sounds like teething. 2nd yr molars in particular are notorious for causing sleep issues as they move around a lot in the gums causing discomfort before they start to come through plus as they are blunt teeth they take a long time to break through the gums.

Have you tried giving meds before sleeps to see if this helps? LO's can also get more tired when they are teething so it could be that he's a little OT too, hence the crying at BT.

As you probably know, this site does not support any form of CC & especially if your LO is in pain with his teeth it isn't the best way to deal with his sleep issues.

HTH?

[bettybubs]

Thanks Sianie. We have tried giveing meds before sleep and it didn't seem to help. He just seems to have changed so much. Towards the end of his story he will start to ask for cuddles and won't set his glo clock anymore. It like he doesn't want to accept the cues for sleep. When I do WI/WO, when I go back in, he is happy and tells me to sit down and wants patting. he will then start to laugh. I don't think he does have pain, I think he is aware of the situation and is being manipulative. If daddy goes in, he normally tells him to leave!

With WI/WO, when you go back in, how long should you spend in the room? Do you wait until they are settled again? The minute I go in he will settle, then as soon as I turn to leave he starts to scream mummy again.

I really don't know what has caused this, but really hate to see him like this as he was always so good at sleeping. I do think he is probably getting overtired as he is not falling asleep until 8.30/9.00 instead of 7.30 ish and he is having some nigh wakings again.

really don't know what to do with him :-(

[sianie]

There are also a number of developmental leaps that happen at around 2yrs old that can have an impact on their sleep.

I think the key is to be as consistent as possible to help him get back on track....

What time & how long is he napping for? What time is he waking up in the AM?

The below link on WI/WO might be helpful:

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=80750.0

I would only go in if he's crying (distressed rather than mantra cry), if he's babbling etc then leave him to self-settle. It could well be that it's become a bit of a game for him, so once you put him in his cot you need to firm & say 'night-night' & then leave if he's calm.

[bettybubs]

That's what is so frustrating, he used to go down at 7-1.15 after his story and be happy in his cot babbling and looking at books until he fell asleep. Now he crys as soon as I say he is going into his bed. At nursery he is napping around 1hr 20 mins most days. At home prior to and on hols he was having 2 hours and having to be woken up. He was waking around 6.30am I think, but not calling us until about 7/7.15am. He has been waking around 6.00/6.30am and calling us since he hasn't been sleeping well. the consistent bit is hard as it is so awful listen to him screaming mummy. He settles when I go in and as soona s i turn and walk out he starts crying mummy again.

Thanks for the link, I will have a read through.

[sianie]

Does he have a night-light on in his room & special toy that he uses to feel more secure.....if it's SA (separation anxiety) or him having bad dream then these things might help.

[bettybubs]

he has the glo clock and he has teddy and doggy :-) I had wondered about dreams. Do you think it could be linked to me being preggers?

With WI/WO, what kind of intervals should I leave in between going back in? The minute I leave the room, he will start to cry and scream mummy and start to throw everything out of the cot so that when you go back in you hafve to pass him teddy etc.

[sianie]

WI/WO isn't about waiting for a set period of time before you go back in (which is why it is different to CC), the amount of time you wait is determined by how your LO is reacting. The key is to hang back enough to give your child space to fall asleep independently, but to respond to truly upset cries.

It could be that he's feeling anxious/unsettled about you being pregnant...have you talked to him about it? My DD's sleep went a little wonky towards the end of my pg with DS, it that's what's bothering him then it is a phase that will pass, I found that doing a longer wind-down at BT really helped as it made sure she got some extra 1 on 1 time with me which made her feel more secure.

[bettybubs]

Thanks Sian. Tonight was much better, still took a long time (gave in at 8.45) but was a lot calmer. Fingers crossed it will get better now over the next few nights. Thanks for all your help.

Was your DD OK after you 2nd LO was born? Did you BF, if so how did you manage bedtime?

[sianie]

DD was a little unsettled for a while after DS was born, but I expected this as it was a big adjustment for all of us, I found that the key was to keep DD's routine as consistent as possible when DS arrived.

Yes I BF'd both my LO's & BT was a bit tricky (especially if DH was away)....I found using a wrap really helped as I could 'wear' DS & he could feed if needs be whilst I sorted DD out.