How to extend if waking happy?

[JBmommy]

Hi everyone!

I am the mom of a 20-week lo and have been back and forth on trying to extend his naps.  He goes down easily for naps after a little dancing wind-down, white-noise machine, swaddle and paci but only stays down for 45-60 minutes.  I would like to extend his naptimes to start getting him on a 4-hour EASY but I am starting to wonder if 45 minutes is his biorhythm like Tracey points out for some children.  He seems to fit the profile because he has always had this schedule, he wakes up happy and has happy activity time for 1.25-1.5 hours after his wake-up. 

The trouble is that 45 minute naps make staying on a 4 (or even 3) hour EASY very difficult.  If I do eat, activity, sleep and don't try to extend then he is eating every 2.25-2.5 hours which I know is too much!  On days when I have painfully extended his naps with shh-pat and PU/PD, he definitely eats better so I would like to extend his feeds but not sure that his naps can really be extended.

So, a lot of rambling for two main questions:
(1) How do you extend if your lo is waking up happy?  He just smiles at me for a while and then gets angrier and angrier as he realizes that he isn't getting out of bed.  If he wakes unhappy, I have had some success extending but not the vast majority of times when he wakes happy.
(2)  If he really is just a 45-minute napper, how can I adapt the schedule so he is eating less often?

I have been struggling for nearly 2 months now so I could really use some help!

[snowbird]

Hi,

No expert but I think he should maybe be doing more A time at 20 weeks. Maybe 2 - 2.25 if I remember correctly. Sure s.o will correct me if not!? Maybe try extending his A time in the morning by 15 mins and see how that goes .  I reckon more a time will lead to longer naps? Plus a slightly easier 4 hour easy. You them can keep extending the a time by 15 mins at a time.

What do you think? Xx

[anna*]

I agree with Snowbird you can't really extend if he's waking happy. He may well need a bit more A time. Also remember you don't have to feed as soon as he wakes - if you're getting short naps you can do EASAEAS. As long as you have a little A before your S, that's fine.

[Papaya]

This sounds just like us four months ago

I was completely perplexed, as all the advice to use shh pat or PUPD to extend naps seemed to presume that your baby was upset at waking and mine never was! But I realised eventually that it was that she needed more A time. It took me ages to figure out because I was very carefully following her 'sleepy signs' which always seemed to happen at the same time...but in the end I ignored the sleepy signs, started watching the clock and just worked on stretching her A times out over a few days until she was doing more like a 2 hour A time...and (almost) hey presto, 1hr30 naps.

I think perhaps what was happening was that she was almost conditioned to act sleepy at a certain time, or maybe she was a bit bored because I wasn't starting new activities because I expected her to need a nap soon...perpetuating cycle. But if I just distracted her for a while, she could go longer - and once we were in our new routine, she soon started telling me when she was really sleepy, so I could start following signs again.

HTH!

[JBmommy]

Thanks for the suggestions!

Papaya-- thanks for the story.  I was just wondering how to extend since my lo was showing obvious sleep signs so your story helps!  I am hoping you can help with a few more questions.  Did your lo eat as soon as they woke-up or were they already on a 4-hour eating schedule?  I am thinking I might need to start extending feeds first or he might not sleep through... And second question, was your lo always a 45-minute napper or did this start suddenly?  I want so badly for this to work but my lo has been a 45-minute napper from day one (including car rides or stroller rides) so just want to get my expectations in order!  Thanks    

[Papaya]

My LO had napped longer when she was younger - so if yours never has, you could be right that he just does have a 45 minute rhythm! Extending the A times might be worth a try though?

Trying to remember about feeds...I think it was about the time that we had been aiming to transition to a 4r EASY, and the 45 min naps were making it impossible. When we were having 45 min naps I was waiting for a while before feeding after wake up, because I knew she wasn't hungry so soon, but we were still going backwards, and were on a 3 - 3.25hr EASY. Once we had 2 hours awake and 1.5/1.75 down we did 3.75 hr for just a little while and it wasn't long before A times increased a little more and we were at 4 hours, give or take. She didn't have any trouble at all making a quick transition to going longer between feeds (she fed much better), but I knew she'd been ready for that for a while - it had just been the naps holding us back. So I focussed on sleep and the feeds followed, if that makes sense.

Good luck!

[Papaya]

Hi there, was just wondering how things are going? Hope you've managed to get some longer naps recently!

[JBmommy]

Thanks for the answer and the suggestions!  We started extending activity time (easier than I thought it would be!) and feed times.  Feeds were difficult at first but now he is pretty easily going 4 hours between feeds and 2+ hours of activity time so we are really happy with that.  There was still no luck with naps so I started thinking that the soother was a problem both at night and during the day.  Two days ago, I made the hard decision to go cold turkey on the soother.  I am not ready to celebrate yet but after only 1.5 days, he went down this morning with less than 10 mins of fuss, slept for 35 mins before fussing and putting himself back to sleep!  In the end, I had to wake him since it was time to eat.  We also were able to extend his morning wake-up today from 5:30 to 7 with little difficulty.  Pretty amazing!  The afternoon nap took less than 5 mins to go down but he wasn't able to re-settle this time. 

Fingers crossed that it continues to improve!

[Papaya]

Well done, sounds like you're doing great! Short napping can be a developmental thing too, so it might get better as he gets a little older. But great work on extending the A times and getting him to settle so well!

[snowbird]

We went cold turkey with the soother and it has made our nights wonderful! Plus she can now settle herself - am so proud of her ) x

[JBmommy]

Congrats on going without the soother!  It is amazing how quickly they forget and can settle themselves.  It makes you wonder why you ever used it in the first place, doesn't it???

[dizzy]

How quickly do they forget and resettle themselves?

[snowbird]

I am glad she had it - it helped stretch out her feeds and get her onto EASY. Just wish I'd done it sooner - around 3 months as Tracy recommends.

I was really lucky and LJ was great after just a day and a half. I'd introduced a lovie a week or 2 before so she had that, altho wasn't overly interested in it until the soother disappeared! Not sure that she'd forgotten lol as 2 weeks later she was opening her mouth when I put her down ) she is an angel-textbook baby.

How are things going with you Dizzy? Know you've had some difficulties from reading another thread xx

[JBmommy]

My little guy seemed to forget very quickly and within 2 days was no longer asking for the soother.  What was even more amazing is that he didn't ask for it in the car or stroller either.  We also introduced a small blankie so he had another way of soothing.  He still sucks on that every time he goes down but it is easy for him to find and self-soothe so it works!  Not sure if age makes a difference but he was 5 months.  Good luck!