16mo STILL has NW/NF!

[Mrs Coops]

Hi

DS is 16.5mo and only started sttn at 9mo (with some PU/PD help) anyhow he's never been very consistent and wakes for the usual things like teething, milestones and so on.

We've had a pretty bad run with holidays, illness, DH being away (a lot) changes in his child care arrangements and so on. Needless to say we now have at least one NF every night. Well I say feed, it's more a snack, he'll be done in 5-10 minutes and back down!

Well I want/ need it to stop now! With DD getting up at 6 and her occasional NW issues I'm totally exhausted. I want to be winding the breast feeding back now not adding more feeds!

The issue is how to do it? He's truly strong willed and doesn't like/ understand refusal. He's not easily distracted and today actually head butted the floor in a fury!

I've just spent 1hr 45 refusing him a feed before I snapped and gave in! He fed for 5 minutes tops!!! There's no way he was hungry as he ate a HUGE dinner!
 I know I shouldn't have given in but my job is sleep critical and I don't have the energy to fight all night! Plus he only woke at 10pm

His day today went like this:

0620 wake up (noisy sister)
0645 bf
0830 breakfast
1000 snack
1200 lunch
1300-1500 S (he got woken up)
1600 snack (not eaten)
1730 huge dinner
1910 BF
1945 Sleep
2200 BW
2345 bf
2355 asleep

Any help/ tips would be appreciated.

[Roseii]

Hey you I'll be back tomorrow, you need moving to toddler sleep Ps what's BW at 2200?? X

[Mrs Coops]

That's typing tired! It should by NW!

[Roseii]

Haha ok sorry I should have worked that out

Ok so how long has he been on one nap, do you think he's "finished" the 2-1 transition as such? I can't help thinking that nap might be a little bit late in the day and that's causing him to get OT...And do you wake him?
And are you/can you aim for a 12 hour day? So like 5 hours A time either side of a 2 hour nap? I think that would be really ideal at his age. We are pretty much on 13 hour days so most days DD2 still has 2 naps to tide her over...

Re the BF, this is really down to you and how firm you can be. There's no gentle way really, it's a prop like any other and CAN be broken if you can put up with the crying for a few nights and not give in, otherwise it'll only get harder...He goes down independently right? WIWO is probably your best option, WI, say your sleepy phrase, WO. Repeat. I didn't PD with DD1 at this age but that's your call. Obviously he is going to be capable of keeping this up for a fair while and it's going to be horrible, so you need to gear yourself up for this, pick a night or 2 to start that you have support/someone to deal with S if she wakes...What do you think?

Ps I am not "there" yet and still give DD2 milk when she wakes

[Mrs Coops]

Hi, yes sorry there are a few blanks I needed to fill.

He's not completely on one nap yet, some days he needs a short morning nap to get him through. As he's with the child minder all week it's not possible to put him down much earlier as he has his lunch at 12, although she does put him down at 1230 when he needs it. But then the defiant little critter will chat away until 1 anyway! One day last week he nearly dozed off in the high chair with a bit of pasta stuck to his cheek!!! Unfortunately my child minder didn't have a camera to hand!

He is a VERY good independent sleeper, so good he will drop off within seconds of me leaving the room. He'll fall asleep in his push chair, car seat, on my child minders floor, anywhere really given half the chance. We cap his day time sleep to 2 hours regardless of one or two naps. When he's really tired he'll fall asleep at bedtime feeding.

I felt in his mouth this morning and one of his molars feels like it may be through very soon, the same one that has felt like it will be through for months!!!! If this is just teething it'll be a long year as he's still only got six teeth! Oh and he had meds at bedtime to cover that and slept sweetly after a snack!

He's not usually up so early, but foghorn leghorn running around at 6am is doing a good job of waking the dead just now!

I know I need to be tough, but just not feeling tough right now

[Mrs Coops]

Oh and yay for you on becoming a moderator, when did that happen?

[Mrs Coops]

Well he was a tired monkey yesterday and needed two naps. He actually slept from 1930 - 0610 last night. It's nice when he does it, but consistency would be nice!!

[Roseii]

Yay! How was your night? We alternate 1 and 2 naps, still mostly 2 tbh!

So with the nf it's really a toss up of which is worse-continue being woken every night or go through a few nights of tough sleep training and lots of crying...I'm here to hold your hand if you decide to go for it..

Xx

[Mrs Coops]

As expected he slept 1930 to 0030, then 0045-0630

He only had one nap yesterday and one today which, most rarely, he bust after an hour at 1400! Needless to say a very emotional toddler was put down at 1910, fingers crossed he goes straight to sleep.

So with the nf it's really a toss up of which is worse-continue being woken every night or go through a few nights of tough sleep training and lots of crying...I'm here to hold your hand if you decide to go for it..

I just don't have any energy right now. He may have slept through Thursday night but S was up for an hour 'needing a cuddle!' DH dealt with her but I was still woken up. I can't win and it's wearing me down

I think I may have to wait for him to get used to his new child minder (starts Monday) and cut his remaining 14 teeth