Author Topic: child harnesses during walks  (Read 5734 times)

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Offline amayzie

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child harnesses during walks
« on: October 11, 2011, 13:33:01 pm »
I wasn't sure which board this fitted into.. I've been having a long running debate with my mother about those harness things that you put on kids when out and about for a walk or whatever. I don't really like them but mum is all in favour! what are other people's thoughts on them- and any thoughts on how I can broach this with mum?
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Offline MasynSpencerElliotte

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Re: child harnesses during walks
« Reply #1 on: October 11, 2011, 13:53:45 pm »
Personally I think they are a great idea for a kid who would otherwise dart away (of course mine just yells & cries if I put it on her and then pulls on it - it is styled to look like a little backpack) 

The way I see it is that I never take my dog out without his leash on, and my kids are a heck of lot more precious to me than he is, so why not?  For now, we still have our 3 year old in a stroller on long walks because she hates the harness and I can't trust her not to run off into the road.
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Offline Nauvoo

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Re: child harnesses during walks
« Reply #2 on: October 14, 2011, 02:00:13 am »
To me it seems everyone has an opinion about it, kind of like co-sleeping.   If it works for you then by all means use the harness.  I think it's a great device for safety. 
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Offline ~Sara~

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Re: child harnesses during walks
« Reply #3 on: October 14, 2011, 03:43:55 am »
I used to think it was cruel and unusual punishment...and then I had a kid who can run FAST! ;)  Personally, I wouldn't use it for day-to-day things or even every time we're in a public place.  Wouldn't really even use it someplace where's it's more crowded than normal, like the zoo.  However, when my parents were throwing around the idea of the whole family going to Disney World, I was totally prepared to buy one.

I think you have to do what you feel is best at the end of the day.  Using or not using one doesn't make you a good or a bad parent.  One of those lovely parenting gray areas.
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Offline Hedgehog17

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Re: child harnesses during walks
« Reply #4 on: October 14, 2011, 10:51:52 am »
My mum used one with my younger sister, but not with me.

I was the sort of child who always did what she was told and never ever ran off. My sister was the complete opposite!

If your child needs it then you'll probably use a harness  ;)

Offline ~inbalance~

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Re: child harnesses during walks
« Reply #5 on: October 14, 2011, 11:59:42 am »
I used to think I'd never have my kid on a 'leash' - and then I bought one!  lol  It's handy to have.  I never used it all the time, but when I knew I needed to grab DS1 fast, it was great.  What I did was put it on him but not use the leash part, so he was walking on his own but it gave me something to grab onto.  I haven't used it with DS2 yet because I've forgotten about it, but actually there have been times where I thought "I wish I had the harness, it would make this situation so much easier!".  Yes, very personal, but I see no harm in having one handy.  Afterall, safety is most important, so in a busy environment or dangerous situations, it's a great thing to use.  Stay open minded.  :)
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Offline Roseii

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Re: child harnesses during walks
« Reply #6 on: October 14, 2011, 12:46:15 pm »
I also thought I'd never use one-til I had a toddler lol! Tbh I don't find it massively useful as DD loves putting it on but pitches a fit if I actually try and hold the reins ::) I do put it in the bag if my mum or MIl is looking after her as she's less likely to put up a fight with them :P
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Offline Lolly

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Re: child harnesses during walks
« Reply #7 on: October 14, 2011, 13:38:42 pm »
We did use one a bit with DS, but DD just threw a tantrum everytime I tried to put one on so I didn't bother. I do have a wrist strap which I use sometimes, it's quite useful to stop them darting off, which is DD's favourite thing to do at the moment!

I don't see anything wrong with using them - better safe than sorry I feel!

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Offline my3girlsjde

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Re: child harnesses during walks
« Reply #8 on: October 14, 2011, 16:17:19 pm »
I swore up and down I'd never use them. Then the girls used to bolt in opposite directions :o. I bought them and got the Winnie the Pooh style and let them have them to play with. They loved them. When we walked to playgroup, the leashes went on, and when we got home, the leashes came off.

I'm of the opinion that they're great if your child could run off and get seriously hurt. I haven't used them in months, but I know they're there if I need them. So not at the mall, outside unless walking etc. Now they're far more interested in pushing the stroller and fighting over that, that I trip over them  ::)
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Offline First Time Mom

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Re: child harnesses during walks
« Reply #9 on: October 14, 2011, 16:47:44 pm »
Never used one with dd, never needed to. With ds I do not use one as we tried once and he freaked out. I do not let him walk near a main street without being on "the inside" of the sidewalk and holding onto his hand for dear life. He hates walking holding my hand as he says he's a "ba boy" (big boy) but he would totally dart. Safety first and last I say so if a lo will accept wearing one and they are the type of lo that runs off every given second, then a harness is something that can save their life!



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Offline clazzat

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Re: child harnesses during walks
« Reply #10 on: October 14, 2011, 16:57:28 pm »
I wasn't sure about them - not least because my mum said that every time she tried one with me I would just sit down until she took it off! - but when dd2 was starting to walk and I still really had to keep an eye on dd1 because she wasn't quite old enough to be trusted it did turn out to be really useful. Again, we didn't use it all the time, but we did use it as an alternative to holding my hand when she really didn't want to. We got a backpack one as well - looks like a bumble bee - so it was quite fun for them to wear too.

Offline Shdef

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Re: child harnesses during walks
« Reply #11 on: October 14, 2011, 17:17:43 pm »
I find them disgusting and demeaning. I'd never use one, not ever. We don't have them thingies here and when I first came over to the UK and saw kids on a dog leash, I was shocked.

I used to take my kid places where it wasn't dangerous and where he could run free, like nice parks, our garden, etc.

For streets, etc, he had to sit in a buggy and when he was older, it was either hold my hand or sit in buggy.

Offline Mashi

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Re: child harnesses during walks
« Reply #12 on: October 14, 2011, 17:24:00 pm »
I did not use one because I felt it was not teaching DS anything. I think using a harness teaches them that they CAN run off as much as they want until they hit the point where they can not physically run any further. Rather than teaching that they should not be running off in the first place.  I suppose that depends on the type of child (ie personality) that you have though. But instead of using something like that to restrain DS I felt it more effective to enforce hand-holding and/or buggy-sitting, and letting him know that there was no such thing as a second-chance -- you run off and you are in the buggy, that's it, end of story.

(I should add that my DS is extremely spirited and he is very much a "runner", most definitely not a cautious child who sticks to me or anything!)

Offline ~emmalou~

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Re: child harnesses during walks
« Reply #13 on: October 14, 2011, 18:22:22 pm »
We sometimes have to use them with sam. One second can mean a lot. My two eldest were arguing and I turned round, sam let go of my hand and ran into the road.  A lady grabbed him and brought him back to me.  Two seconds later a massive lorry hurtled round.

Sometimes you cant go to safe places! Sometimes as in school runs when you have more that one child, you need these things to keep them safe.

Its ok when you have one child, but 3 under six, with one toddler, its very hard to keep your attention on all 3 all the time, so no I dont agree at all they are disgusting and demeaning. Just another slant on this. Im so forever grateful my spirited son wasnt knocked down by a lorry.

Oh and he cant go in a pram, he just takes the straps off (worked out how to a long time ago), but cannot take the straps off the reins
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Offline ~Emma~

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Re: child harnesses during walks
« Reply #14 on: October 14, 2011, 18:33:13 pm »
I did not use one because I felt it was not teaching DS anything. I think using a harness teaches them that they CAN run off as much as they want until they hit the point where they can not physically run any further. Rather than teaching that they should not be running off in the first place.  I suppose that depends on the type of child (ie personality) that you have though. But instead of using something like that to restrain DS I felt it more effective to enforce hand-holding and/or buggy-sitting, and letting him know that there was no such thing as a second-chance -- you run off and you are in the buggy, that's it, end of story.

(I should add that my DS is extremely spirited and he is very much a "runner", most definitely not a cautious child who sticks to me or anything!)

 My take too. I remember with B I took him on the nature trail we used to go on every day for a week to practice the ''you hold my hand or you go in the buggy'' rule. It was tiring but it worked. He is very spirited and a runner but I spent the time teaching what I felt was important. Its important to him that he has the independance and important to me to have the trust. B has not been in a buggy since he was 21 months old. He walks everywhere and is very road conscious and will hold my hand when I ask him to. I do have a little life backpack with a strap though but have never used it, he just likes the bag!

 However, I dont have lots of kids on their feet and if you do unless you have eyes on the back of your head I can see why they have their place. Safety is paramount.  :)


Offline firsttimemummy

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Re: child harnesses during walks
« Reply #15 on: October 14, 2011, 18:57:58 pm »
I used to hate them and in most ways still do.  When I was pregnant with Oliver, though, I didn't feel safe just holding Murray's hand (he is spirited and sometimes tries to let go of my hand).  I got him a little backpack which has a parent handle on it.  Whenever we went out he had it on (he loved it!) but I still got him to hold my hand, as I wanted him to learn that the safe thing to do it to hold hands (I felt just letting him run ahead wouldn't teach safety) ... the strap was just for my re-assurance.  I still use it now when we are walking as I have the buggy to push too - he is too excitable to just hold hands and not try to wriggle out of my hand (and wouldn't just hold the buggy).  

http://www.wiggle.co.uk/littlelife-toddler-runabout-daysack/?lang=en&curr=GBP&dest=1&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=LittleLife%20toddler%20runabout%20daysack&utm_campaign=littlelife&referid=googwig&utm_adgroup=littlelife_Toddler%20Runabout%20Daysack - it's also handy for carrying a change of trousers, and snack, etc ;)
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Offline shivi

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Re: child harnesses during walks
« Reply #16 on: October 14, 2011, 19:16:09 pm »
I bought one, thinking I'd use it with extra spirited and ultra fast Oscar.

The only times we actually used it was in a cemetary when he just over 2 yrs and there were crowds and candles in glass lamps everywhere....this was at Warsaw Uprising celebrations - remembering his great grandpa. Other than that, I used it at the metro station when heavily pg in winter with Emma, so Ozzie 2.5 ish and me slower and slower and the ground icy outside and wet inside. Buggy wasn't an option as the lift was very often broken so it was easier to get to work (preschool for him at the time) by using the steps than by asking someone to carry the buggy.
Also used it for a few more months with him after E was born (until I got my PandTs) if we were out walking and she was sleeping in the carrycot oldfashioned pram. Oscar actually gained road safety skills around a year ago only but finished the darting away by 3.5 for sure. Unfortunately, PL drivers are notorious especially for the right filter lights at traffic junctions. Pedestrians in the middle of the crossing, when the green man is showing, have been known to be run over due to the filter light allowing cars to turn and drive over the crossing "as long as its clear".

My mum never needed one for me - I was a spirited but scaredy cat touchy kid. My sis was the angel with fearless spirited wings and spent many months on a harness.

I've never used it for Emma though....not even once. The harness was placed in our cheapie Ikea highchair when she was a few months old and has been used for this purpose ever since. Much easier when you only have to concentrate on one kid. Emma is much faster than Oscar but is scared of cars and roads, thankfully....and metro tracks too ;-)


I think a lot of our opinions are not based only on the spiritedness of our kids but also the environment in which we live, the amount of walking we have to do and our physical fitness/pg or non pg state.....mine for sure :-(

S x
« Last Edit: October 14, 2011, 19:17:45 pm by shivi »


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Offline Lolly

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Re: child harnesses during walks
« Reply #17 on: October 14, 2011, 19:31:44 pm »
Harnesses/ reins or wrist straps aren't leashes. IMO there is nothing disgusting or demeaning about wanting to keep your child safe in a way that is not causing them physical harm. A wrist strap allows my very independant daughter to walk by herself while she learns the rules about walking beside me and holding hands and it gives me the security of knowing she won't end up in the road if she decides to take off. She wasn't happy about using the rucksack I bought with a parent strap so I haven't used it with her, DS was happy to have reins on so we did use them with him.

Back when I was a child our prams and highchairs didn't have safety straps so reins or harnesses were used by the majority of people to make sure we didn't fall out and injure ourselves. This isn't a new way to keep children safe.

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Offline RachelC

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Re: child harnesses during walks
« Reply #18 on: October 14, 2011, 19:34:47 pm »
Ok, locking this as I think the tone is getting negative. OP's question has been answered   Reins are not my personal preference, but there is no reason to make others feel like bad parents for making their own parental choices. This is a non judgement website.  Question?  PM me.
« Last Edit: October 14, 2011, 22:40:07 pm by aisling »


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