We're eating better, but he's not eating :(

[~Sara~]

Sara - what are chicken pillows?

They'll vary from recipe to recipe, but we just mix up cut up cooked chicken, some cream cheese cut with a tbsp of butter, and some green onions, then stuff cresent roll dough with that and bake until the rolls are done.

I forgot to mention above, Wendy, that we normally always have at least one veggie plus a fruit with our dinners, which might be a good option for you guys if you and Tom are cutting out the carbs (in that you don't HAVE to make the carb the main part of the meal).

I also am of the mind that you have to pick your battles.  I know you guys are dealing with a lot right now, and if making Finn an alternative meal to what you're having is low on the totem pole, so to speak, then I say deal with the other stuff first then tackle the whole dinner thing.  It's kind of up to you guys in that regard.

HTH a bit.

[Tweakster]

Thanks guys.  He also isn't hungry in the mornings, even after going to bed without dinner last night?  Wanted him to eat some yogurt with probiotics this morning.  Refused.  Finally got him to drink his prune juice (he's STILL holding his poo) with omega supplement but he wouldn't eat.  Gave him an organic rice cereal bar and sent his yogurt to her place with some blackberries. 

Deb I hear you on the empty calories thing.  She has 3 daycare kids to feed plus two of her own and I get why carbs are easiest for her to make, and cheapest.  She's a very healthy eater by most standards, her whole family is stick thin and apparently 'never sick' and I don't know how to fight this battle since we are paying for the food there.  She makes all her own stuff, so mac and cheese she makes, spaghetti she makes the sauce, she makes quite a bit of chicken and rice, stuff like that.  She even makes her own pizza and chicken fingers.  It's something at least.  She only gives them stuff like scones and banana bread as treats, which they bake together, there's no 'junk' there and he's not getting cookies and stuff like that.  It would be really difficult to send his lunch because he would want to eat what she's serving and what the other kids are eating.

[deb]

Be that as it may, he's still YOUR kid and YOU get to call the food shots. And I get that she doesn't want to pay too much for meat, say, but if you sent something and let her be the bad guy, so she got to say "Sure, you can have some mac'n'cheese, as soon as you eat 3 bites of meat!" that's also not asking a whole lot. Just because it isn't "junk" ie candy or cakes or ice cream all day doesn't mean it's nutrient-dense food or "good for him" either.

But if you could work a compromise where he gets only so much pasta, or so much AFTER what you send (like the yogurt or supplements he won't take in the mornings, maybe?), or none past a certain time of day (carrot sticks only after 1PM or something like that), might that work?

[Lemonthyme]

Btw, I work in a bakery that doesn't use most of the preservatives that other bakeries do (no calcium proprionate for example) and bread will stale more quickly.  Ideally use it all up in a day (impractical I know) but the next best thing is to freeze it.  You could  freeze slices and toast directly from frozen or defrost what you need.

I don't think the daycare food sounds that unhealthy.  Kids need fat and as long as there are some fresh fruit and veg options too, I don't think that's wrong.  Homemade chicken fingers with your nice bread would be pretty good for example and they're a piece of cake to make.

Sorry if I've missed this but have you tried cooking with him?

[Tweakster]

Yeah he's a disaster when trying to cook with him.  He's so independent that he doesn't want to 'help' he just wants to 'do' and will get very upset with the whole experience.

So he hasn't had dinner all week, then last night DH was home and he and I had eggs with veg on the side and F finally ate his eggs.  BUT we were seated at the table and he kept getting up then whining/crying to get down, he won't explain what the problem is, he just cries 'down'.  Then if we let him down he wants 'up' and he's crying for the eggs again.  I get the feeling that he was more after the social experience and wasn't hungry at all.

When do they reliably express hunger?  I'm thinking of stop continually offering food and letting him tell me when he's hungry.  We will of course still have mealtimes and times when snack is appropriate and ask him to wait, I just feel torn between continuing to set routines with meals vs. teaching him to listen to his body.  I mean if he's truly not hungry at the mealtime should we be telling him that he is?

[~inbalance~]

Yeah he's a disaster when trying to cook with him.  He's so independent that he doesn't want to 'help' he just wants to 'do' and will get very upset with the whole experience.

Ugh, same thing here too.  T is a disaster in the kitchen that I'd just rather avoid.

[Shiv52]

Wendy, if he is holding his poo and is constipated that could a big reason why he's not eating well at times.  M can get a bit constipated and there are times she won't eat but tries to eat and faffs about and then a half hour later she'll do a poo and then can eat no problem.

Do you think he maybe just feels yuck and sluggish from poo holding? 

[Tweakster]

Do you think he maybe just feels yuck and sluggish from poo holding?

Yep DH and I discussed that this morning.  I'm sure that's part of it   After I gave him prune juice last night and almost forced him to drink it, he poo'd this morning but was very upset by the whole affair and kept kicking us out of the room.  I'm sure this isn't normal behaviour.  Tom did he eat this morning? (he stalks my posts I'm sure he'll be along any minute lol)

But he eats a load at daycare whether he poo'd or not.  Interestingly the 2yo girl that is at daycare has started telling G when she needs to go to the toilet for poo and gets Smarties afterward so yesterday F told G he had to poo but he sat on there and did nothing lol  He WILL NOT get on the toilet at home for nothing, yesterday I offered him a cookie and told him Smarties are only given out to those who sit on the toilet and poo (I felt bad about that actually...) but no way would he sit. 

I got the Sleep Talk book, my friend took it out of the library for me as mine didn't have it.  Gonna give it a read this weekend

[Shiv52]

Its good though you have something that keeps him going though.  At least if you know he goes if he gets prune juice thats a start. 

I wonder could you give it to him in the morning so he does need to go at G's house especially if he is keen to try and that might help the issue a bit?

[Tweakster]

Yeah we normally do, DH got confused about when to give it as he is now doing drop off this week.  My idea is that he goes at her place lol so I like to give it in the morning.  I think she will have better success with getting him to go on the toilet with the other kids than we will as parents at home, sad but true.

So would you continue to offer food or just let him express when he's hungry?

[nosenose]

I am not stalking, I just happened to pop by this thread as it's interesting!

Anyway Yeah he had his yoghurt and I offered up the prune juice, but he only had a couple of sips before not wanting it any more.

I feel a little bad about this morning as he was basically underway with his poo. He had done a small amount of it but not finished. He did call me in though and ask to get out of bed. It was only after this that it was clear that he was not finished as he changed his mind. He was quite upset about that, and it was the genuine kind, not the put it on kind. I undressed him and he wanted a nappy, but we put pullups on him in the mornings now. It was obvious that he wanted the nappy so he could poo in it. I gave him a choice of go in his pullup or go on the potty. He chose the pullup and got dressed with me. It was after this that he was sitting on my lap when I was asking him what's wrong and he said he needs to poo.

I feel bad cos I basically stopped him from doing it by getting him out of bed, despite him asking. If he does not do it today at G's then that means he is trying really hard to hold it in

Maybe I should have left him to finish, but we'd already been waiting about 20 mins at that stage and the day simply has to move along

[Mom to M&M]

We had next to no luck with prune juice here with DD (who has chronic constipation issues). Besides her not liking the taste (and I can't blame her, even the smell makes me nauseous), it just didn't help much. We use Miralax when truly warranted (but I don't use it daily or even weekly), which works MUCH better and dissolves into any liquid and we also find that coconut oil helps her go so I often spread it on her bread, etc.

But as for the other question, I'd probably casually offer food at snack/meal times but not push it at all - he seems to tell you when he's hungry!

[Tweakster]

I'm seeing our doc on Monday for my own issue (she called me in for some reason...that's never good lol) and I'll ask her about Finn.  I don't want to make a huge issue out of it but it is in fact, becoming an issue and I don't want to ignore it either

[Erin M]

I have a friend who had to let her ds poop in a diaper as it was the only way he'd go - he'd wear underwear aside from that, ask for the diaper when he needed to go, and they'd move on.  Around 3.5 he managed to go in the potty.  They can cause damage to their little bodies if they continually withhold - maybe just take the stress off of it for now, poor F sounds so worked up over it!

Wendy, hope whatever the doctor called you in for is nothing!