Eat this or there's nothing else. Anyone had success with this method?

[Truly Blessed]

Hi Everyone,

This is not my 1st post about DS eating habits  . He used to eat anything and everything and has gone through fussy phases in the past but this one has lasted weeks now.

So far I have given him a plate with small portions of everything. Foods that he likes and new things. When his favourites are gone I don't top up, I just leave him with the other things he hasn't tried yet. I give him the vegetables and new food several times as I heard it can take many times before LO's will try them I have had limited success  . I leave him for around 20 minutes with the plate but if he doesn't eat enough then he'll have cereal or something else healthy. He adores all fruit so he gets plenty vitamins that way. I tried not offering anything else but he then gets hungry at BT and it interrupted his routine.

So my question is this: Rather than the above (which is what child nutritionalists recommend) I have heard it can only take a week if you give them the foods they have liked in the past but now refuse, leave it some time and then if they don't eat it the meal's over. Has anyone done this and had success  And if so how do you deal with hunger intefering with nap and BT 

DS is teething his 2nd year molars but I don't think it is totally to blame this time as it's been weeks.

I fear I may be too soft to get through it  .

Thanks for reading.x.

PS. One fo my best friends did the above with her 2 children and they will eat anything now. They are 15 and 11. They never had any type of baby food, just always ate what the family ate.

[j.and.e]

i think fussy eating is totally normal and i wud do the same. Offer meals and healthy snacks and not worry if ur child is healthy and eating all major food groups over the course of a wk. I wud think at this age getting gd nutrition and sleeping well is more important than trying new foods. Interestd to hear what others say, as my ds1 is a fussy eater. He is healthy and eats fruit and dairy, i try to limit snacks to encourage dinners bt am fairly relaxd about it Xx

[Truly Blessed]

Thank you Hon,

I'm inclined to agree. I also have had him on a multivitamin with Omega 3 since 7 months so I know he's getting what he needs. I just worry that I am creating a monster! So to speak, but he eats far more fruit than anything else and chocolate etc are a special treat in out house. I need to stop stressing but find it very hard. I also try to remind myself how small his stomach is and I think maybe our expectations of the amount they should eat is too high. Would you agree 

(X)

[Lolly]

I think at this age they really don't tend to wake from hunger. If you are offering things they like and they aren't eating they probably aren't hungry. DD has had many nights recently that she has not had any tea at all, even if it's something she loves and she doesn't wake at night. She doesn't get offered bedtime milk any more either because she stopped drinking it but I will give her some if she asks.

If she has refused her tea I don't offer anything else but I will keep it for a while and re-offer if she wants anything to eat but that's really rare that she will ask. I think you need to look at what they have eaten over the course of the day too, rather than looking at each meal in isolation. It may even be worth keeping a food diary of exactly what they eat and when for a week or so to see if they are actually eating more than you realise.

I remember DS being like this through the final stages of teething and he eats pretty well now, he eats a variety of foods and will try new stuff. We did the same with him, if he refused he didn't get offered anything different but there was always something he liked to eat on his plate. DD has all her teeth now but she is dropping her nap and I think she is just too tired to eat by the end of the day a lot of times.

At the end of the day all we can do is offer a variety of healthy food choices and it's up to them to eat it (or not ).

Laura

[Truly Blessed]

Thanks Laura 

Wise words. You are right about how much he has eaten over the course of a day..it is more than I usually think. His best meals have always been breakfast and tea, and he's still not napping well most days so I do think he's too tired to eat at tea time sometimes. Tonight I realised he has had a growing spell  and his legs are even a little chubbier (ooh! more to grab LOL) so I'm not worried about him healthwise. Just about making a rod for my own back in years to come.

(X)

[Shiv52]

I think at this age they really don't tend to wake from hunger

Totally agree with this.  When it gets to this age you can let go of that worry and so it is much easier to work on eating round rules. 

In my experience working with picky eaters NOT providing alternatives is the main recommendation we make.  Otherwise they just learn to eat what they like, leave what they don't and mum will give you something else a half hour later.  The other is not to cater to favourites. 

I have never provided alternatives to either of my DDs.  With DD1 I probably did cater to her favs more than I do with DD2, as i don't ever with her!  She just eats what we eat and she's an amazing eater as in she'll eat pretty much anything.  Some meals she'll not eat much but thats fine and we jsut move on and i dont' give her anything else.   i think this a fine age to just start providing meals and if he eats great, if not also fine but don't provide anything else. 

HTH x

[firsttimemummy]

We are in a fussy spell just now - Murray likes almost all food (in fact, can't think of anything he doesn't, just now!) - he goes on and off foods but generally not fussy.  At the moment, though, he keeps saying he doesn't like it (whatever it is) so we insist he tries it (and usually he says he then likes it, after trying it).  Just now, if he doesn't eat it, he has to wait until his snack/meal time. 

When he was younger and teething we would offer an alternative but now he has all his teeth and we know it's not a pain-thing we are not playing to his requests (or he would eat cereal constantly) - if he is hungry he will eat.  (He does eat well over the full day!).

Remember to look over the food intake over a whole week - they will have hungry and not-so-hungry days, and wont starve themselves.

[Truly Blessed]

Thank you Ladies,

Thanks for the reassurance he won't wake though Hunger. The problem that we were having is that come BT WD he was saying 'Mama MMMMMM' I'm hungry basically, so when he should have been having his milk I had to give him a BT snack. Do you think it's okay to do that if I go down the no alternatives route  I would just give him some Banana..healthy but filling enough.

(X)

[firsttimemummy]

maybe offer supper as standard ... or is he just playing for time

[Shiv52]

My gut says no, I would just offer milk.  

How long is it between dinner and bedtime snack?

[Truly Blessed]

Hi Ladies,

Lucy, I did wonder if he's playing for time but at BT I don't think so as he goes down easily. It's only happened on 2 occasions, the times when I haven't offered an alternative.

Shiv, Dinner time starts at around 4pm to 4.30pm now as it is taking so loooooong!  finishes around 5.15 BT is 7pm so not much time later. He has 6 oz at BT.

I am starting a food diary today so I can see exactly how much he is eating, I suspect it's enough and more than I think. My worry is he won't go over at BT well if his tummy is rumbling.

(X)

[Shiv52]

My worry is he won't go over at BT well if his tummy is rumbling.

Having a 3 year old who eats very well but who has had many days where dinner is non existant and so hasn't eaten in hours before bed she has never been hungry at bed nor woke from hungry.  And if he's getting 6oz of milk his tummy will not be rumbling!

Dinner time starts at around 4pm to 4.30pm now as it is taking so loooooong!   finishes around 5.15

Honestly hun, that is SO long for a meal time.  Why is it taking so long? I would honestly make a meal no more than 20-30 minutes (and thats if he's interested in eating) and after that it is just done. 

[Truly Blessed]

Hi Shiv,

I know I would be inclined to agree but lately when I go to take the food away after he has eaten a little, I turn round and he's tucking into some more, so I feel like I could have taken it away before he's finished. He has a yoghurt second and then finishes off with a little fruit so that's why it's taking so long. It used to be a lot shorter but he is happily sitting there so I stopped hurrying things. With all that said do you still think it's the wrong move 

(X)

[Shiv52]

I guess if he is happy enough it isn't the biggest deal!  Its just incase he would get frustrated with the length of time he is sitting there.

Does he always get a yogurt and fruit after?  If that is the case then hunger/bedtime snack shouldn't be an issue even if he hasn't eaten any dinner?  What would happen if you separated the meal out?  So yogurt and fruit were a snack at a different time of the day and made dinner just dinner?  If he realises that thats it do you think it would encourage him to eat more of the actual dinner? 

[Truly Blessed]

Hi Shiv,

The thing is the yoghurt and fruit are what fill him up if he doesn't eat much of his main meal. However if he knows that's coming maybe he's not bothered about eating his main meal, so it's a vicous circle isn't it! 

I'm keeping a food diary today so I will post and we'll see what he eats on an average day, although breakfast wasn't great.

My blood pressure is high at the moment after an awful nap put down with buckets of tears, but that's a different story  .

(X)

[Shiv52]

Are there 2YO molars at play?  M lived on yogurt for weeks just after 2YO and once the teeth were through things got better. 

{{{hugs}}} on the awful nap PD xx

[deb]

I would make his supper JUST supper, and maybe have the yogurt and fruit separately in another hour or closer to bedtime.

[Shiv52]

I would make his supper JUST supper, and maybe have the yogurt and fruit separately in another hour or closer to bedtime.

Me too!

A food diary is a good idea.   Hopefully it will show you he is eating lots of foods and good quantities across the week.  I think if its showing you he is eating good quantities but only of a small group of particular foods then you can get a plan in place for increasing the different foods he eats. 

[Truly Blessed]

Hiya,

Yes Shiv it's the 2 year molars, and it has been weeks now, that's another reason why I've been a bit more leniant with him. It's funny you should say to seperate the dinner time. I just took him out of the chair after he refused his savoury meal and decided to leave it an hour before offering the rest. Great minds and all that LOL! 

Thanks so much for your advice.x.

[Shiv52]

 

Flipping molars 

[Truly Blessed]

LOL Shiv..you said it  .x.

[Mom to M&M]

Eating is HORRIBLE here as of late (not that it was every really good). Been trying to be stricter at dinner but unless it's pasta, most nights he cries. Sometimes he'll eat enough of other things to be OK, sometimes he won't - but he almost never tries the main meal (unless it's pasta). Last night he cried over fish cake, served with his choice of roasted potatoes or sweet potato fries. He ended up licking a few roasted potatoes and eating 2-3 sweet potato fries and that was it. I offered oatmeal or a banana before bed (about 1.5 hours later) and he said oatmeal but then only had one spoonful before making a face and refusing that too. And since he doesn't drink milk he went to bed with an empty tummy. He did sleep all night, though he was up at the crack of 6am - though he's been waking early lately in general...

[Shiv52]

Awh {{{{hugs}}}} Karen xx

You know dinners have been a nightmare since M started nursery as she is SO tired!  So I have started feeding her and R 'dinner' at lunch and then at dinner they have more lunch type foods and that really seems to be helping with what they are eating overall.  Total pain for me.  But what I've been doing is making say lasagne for me and DH and then keeping some for their lunch the next day and that helps. 

Is M more tired than usual or have you pesky teeth playing havoc too?

[Mom to M&M]

I wish Siobhan (on the lunch thing) but some days he refuses that too! Though he did have both breakfast and lunch so far today. And given that dinner is pasta for the kids tonight (DH and I have a date night) I'm sure he'll eat that too. Definitely think two-year molars are bugging him, though I can't see anything there yet. He's been having more and looser BMs too.

[Truly Blessed]

Hi Ladies,

Hugs from me too Karen 

It's so hard not to stress...I find. DS is teething those pesky 2 year molars and it's taking forever! I find at the moment that he also doesn't want hot food, I think the colder stuff is easier on his gums so I have started to switch up his meals this week. At Dinner time he just isn't eating his main hot meal so I am giving him toast instead for breakfast and he is eating a bowl of cereal for his Dinner with icy cold milk..he always eats it so for the meantime I see no harm and it's still nutritous. Yesterday he ate next to nothing and today he ate like a horse, so it just goes to show me he won't go hungry. For breakfast he ate 2 slices of toast, half a banana, 2 kiwi fruit, a small box of raisins and 8 mini rice cakes  Hmm I know that's a lot of fruit, but thankfully he just loves it. I've come to the conclusion you get through the sticky weeks however you can and hope that when those teeth pop things will return to normal. Sam has also been on a great multivitamin with Omega 3 so I can rest assured he is getting what he needs on the bad days.

(X)

[Shiv52]

I was thinking of you girls earlier. 

And was thinking that is will and does get easier with age.  I think for now the biggest thing that can cause issues in the future is for these monkeys to work out that if they create enough of a fuss that mummy will run and swap the meal infront of them for something else.  They won't really know if they are getting pasta 5 times a week KWIM? 

M is now 3.5 or just abouts.  We have recently been able to introduce 'taste one bite of everything on the plate' rule and it has went really well. She is eating loads more veg now and fruit too actually.    i can now say to her that if she doesn't eat enough dinner there is nothing else and she totally understands that. 

So really your guys are little still and its amazing the difference a bit more understanding can make so try not to worry too much.  Keep providing lots of difference foods and don't let them work out you will keep providing food until they eat and it will be fine.  I was just thinking that when M was getting teeth and not eating dinner I always gave porridge for supper and she in no way connected it to not eating dinner as it was just supper. 

{{{hugs}}}}

[Lolly]

I agree with Shiv! I think having an older one you can see how these toddler monkeys will end up. DS was just like DD is now at this age and he was a much poorer eater to start with than she was/is. He eats a lot of things now and will taste things so I'm pretty sure when she gets over the nap transition and being a toddler she will one day eat properly!

We went out for tea yesterday so I let her have a 2 hour nap for the first time in ages in the afternoon. She sat really nicely in the restaurant, ate all her tea and *forced* down a bowl of ice cream just for me - it just showed that if she isn't too tired she will eat well. That did however lead to her falling asleep at 10pmlast night and being an OT nightmare today so it's just as well we don't eat out often

I also thing it gets easier when they can tell you what they want/ don't want in words rather than screaming at you

Laura

[Truly Blessed]

Thanks Laura,

I always hoped when he can communicate better that things would get easier. I am going to try and chill now...honestly  LOL. Mind you DS has always been amazing at getting his point across even before he had any words  and I don't think it will be long at all now before he can tell me exactly what's what as his new words are flying in thick and fast  yesterday he came out with 9 new ones  I love it!!!

(X)

[Shiv52]

Go Sammy!!!!! 

[Truly Blessed]

Hi Ladies,

A quick update:

On Wednesday Sam had a 45 min OT nap and I wanted to get him in bed for 6.30 so dinner time was a rush as we got in late. Because of this I decided to give him 'an old favourite' wild mushroom chicken noodle' dish, which was already good to go. I expected to replace it with cereal  . Then to my enormous shock  he picked up his spoon and ate the whole dish full then asked for more!  I felt like I'd won the lottery. I left him to it and didn't make a fuss, not even praise untill he'd finished. The only thing I did differently was for us to smell it before he ate it LOL. He loves to smell things at the moment (especially play dough LOL) and I wonder if because it smelled nice it encouraged him  who knows. Anyway last night he ate a full dish of Lasagne for dinner, so 2 nights of wonderful success. It had been weeks since he at any 'proper dish' and not just finger foods. I am praying this particular fussy stage is passing. Keep your finger's X'd for us please  .

(X)

[Lolly]

Well done Sam and Mummy!

That's great and I hope it continues! If it doesn't though you know it's just a phase and he will go back to being your good eater when he's ready and he won't starve in the meantime!

Laura

[Shiv52]

Great update!!!!! Am sure you were so pleased while pretending you didn't care at all that he ate!!!

[Mom to M&M]

Awesome news! May the good eating continue for you and somehow spread this way!

[Truly Blessed]

Thanks Ladies,

Yes I was very excited whilst ignoring him LOL. He's currently tucking into Tuna Pasta for his dinner..hurrah!!!

(X)