9 months old and still waking **Updated** Please help!!

[Shiv52]

A gentler way to do it to pick a time you aren't going to feed before.  So if she goes to bed at 7pm then any wakings before 1am you HAVE to resettle whatever way you can.  I am also going to say that whatever method you choose don't replace one prop for another.  Resettle in her cot.  Yes rock if you need to but make sure she goes back in her cot.  I really wouldn't take her into bed with you.  That is an even harder prop to break than what you've got going on at night now.  

So after one then do one NF.  Then every few days add a half hour to that time.

I'll be honest with you Clare and say while she may be hungry she is not starving.  She isn't.  I think the screaming and crying is to do with the fact that you are not feeding her and that is how she is used to resettling to sleep.  I think it is more likley that than hunger.

Argh!! Say it isnt so   It goes against motherly instinct to not feed a baby that is clearly hungry   Im not sure I can do it

Another way to look at it though is that she needs good quality sleep for her growth and development so you are doing this for the greater good.  You are not starving her.  Simply helping her shift her hunger to the day when she should be eating so she can get proper sleep at night.  

And there will be crying and screaming until she works out that a bottle isn't appearing at every NW.   But better at 9 months than in a few months time when it will be even more engrained and even harder to break.  But remember she is crying because you are changing the way she goes back to sleep not because she is starving.  And if you do one NF initially then you can be sure its not even hunger.  

HTH x

[**Clare**]

Thanks Shiv.  She is def hungry, I could tell by the way she was drinking and I could hear her tummy filling up But no, shes not starving! She eats really well in the day too.

Wish I was more awake to read this properly and make a plan, just cant think straight today I think Ill try cutting down the ounces, my thoughts are she will then wake before the 3 hour mark but we shall see! Anything has to be worth a try.

I get you on the prop thing too, she hates coming into our bed, shes never done it before it was just sheer desperation last night.  If shes not hungry she has no problem self settling. Cant really do pu/pd as she is far too big or even pd as she doesnt get up! I can try patting or rocking but as I said, if shes not hungry she will self settle.

I also wonder if she is OT, especially after being s poorly, her naps are abit wonky at the mo.  May go and read up on naps as may need to tweak them a little too.

Thank you

[Lolly]

She could well be making up a few calories if she has been ill - that won't be helping! We weaned my DD's one nightfeed (never took a DF) by reducing the bottles and then just offering water. She did have a few days of needing a nightfeed a couple of months later after a week of throwing up but she stopped that herself.

Like Shiv said, the crying and protesting is becuase you are doing things differently, but if you stick to a plan it will pass. It's also better to stick to it and have the crying for a couple of nights than give in and have to go through it again.

I do think at this age that the DF messes with their sleep more than helps it. It is also more learned hunger than true hunger at this age, yes she is hungry because that's what happens when she wakes but if you can get through it and she's eating and drinking enough in the day she doesn't need calories at night.

Laura

[Ima shel Alon]

Clare, you know that a couple of weeks ago I was where you are now and it IS possible to change it.
Over the time I tried reducing oz when Alon was younger and now I did it cold turkey. Both things worked for us very well (It was our fault he started eating again after he didn't for a while) and you just need to find the one that would feel right for you now.

[**Clare**]

Another awful night, 3 night wakings. Same times as the previous 2 nights, seriously I think she can tell the time!!! What's that all about?! I went to bed at 11 and decided not to DF her and see if that helped, she woke within minutes and went crazy. DH came up and said it was like she was possessed, we were both pretty freaked out tbh. She sounded really gruff to and I wondered if her throat was sore but it can't be that bad if she's eating and sleeping in-between the NW's.

Tried to pacify her for half an hour them fed her. I think the only want I can do this is to cut back the oz's. The last few nights she's taken a max of 4 oz each time so I'm going to drop it to 3 for a few days. Is that right?

Every night I go to bed thinking she may just surprise me but it never happens!

[firsttimemummy]

Just remind yourself that one day she WILL - teenagers never get out their beds so then (and definitely much sooner, of course!) you will be struggling to get her OUT of bed (that's what I used to remind myself when Murray didn't sleep well!!)

[Ima shel Alon]

The last few nights she's taken a max of 4 oz each time so I'm going to drop it to 3 for a few days. Is that right?
 

Yep.

[**Clare**]

Just remind yourself that one day she WILL - teenagers never get out their beds so then (and definitely much sooner, of course!) you will be struggling to get her OUT of bed (that's what I used to remind myself when Murray didn't sleep well!!)

Yes Lucy, so true! As my Mum always says, its only temporary!

Last night was as tiring as the previous nights, she was happy to take the 3oz at each waking! When I made the bottle up I looked at it and thought, shes not going to be happy with this! It was such a small amount! She still had 3 feeds... 11.30, 2.30 and 5.15, seriously its like having a newborn.  Its ridicuolous.

So how many more nights shall I do before I drop down to 2oz? Is this really going to work?? I have faith in baby whisperer, it has never let me down before but I have to say I have my doubts on this one.

[Ima shel Alon]

REALLY REALLY REALLY Clare, reducing bottles has worked for us and I have a very big baby and he eats A LOT! It's not like you are cutting her NF, she will slowly, day by day, increase the amount she is taking during the day and won't be as hungry at night.
I'd go couple more nights till reducing 1oz more.

[**Clare**]

Still here... Amelie is poorly, Ive been poorly, its not going great!

We are down to one night need (Touch wood) and a DF.  She really isnt fussed about the DF but Im worried if I dont give it to her she will go back to two night feeds.  Would it be safe to try it do you think? I, trying to be consistent so always offered it but shes only taking an ounce or so.

The night feed is down to two, we did that a couple of nights then when I was poorly DH did the NF and did 3 She's done another two nights on 2 ounces since then, what next? An ounce? Or nothing?

[Lolly]

I would stop the DF if she is only taking an oz but keep the NF at 2oz for a few more nights until she gets used to no DF. Then you can drop it to 1oz for 3 nights then I would offer water rather than milk. If she does wake more than once you need to stick to the 1 NF and resettle her before this time and after it.

Good luck and well done on the progress so far!

Laura

[**Clare**]

Thanks Laura, it is progress, slow but still progress! Im happy as its been so easy and caused no upset so far.  Thanks for the quick advice, off to bed soon so Ill try what you said! 

[Shiv52]

Great progress Clare!!  Good luck with the rest of it xx

[Lolly]

Hopefully you may even find she is better without the DF. After about 7/8 months it does disturb sleep more than help which is why Tracy tells us to wean it around then. Maybe it's causing a rise in her blood sugar levels which then drops and needs topping up again rather than being stable from last feed to wake up - you never know do you!

Laura

[**Clare**]

Amelie is now 10 months old yet we are still in the same place.  She has had illness after illness after illness and still isnt right.  She's been left with a horrible cough that just wont shift at the moment.

She did get better for about 5 days so I started again on 3 oz, now down to 2 oz but still getting two night wakings where she will not settle without the feed.  The other NW's I can re settle her quite easily. I can still hear her little tummy filling up with the 2 oz and not sure how Im going to give her just 1 oz

Last night was night 3 of 2 oz's so guess I should bite the bullet and drop an ounce tonight