Unsuccessful in extending naps for 5&1/2 month old

[Everhopefulinhove]

So sorry if this is a repetitive topic, but I'm at my wits end. I'd really appreciate some advice. As i feel like i've tried everything! At around 4 1/2 months my dd started waking more and more regularly at night until it was every 1&1/2 to 2 hrs. At this point, I put her on a basic easy and extended her feeds, I was able to quickly extend them from snacking every 2 hrs to 3 hrs and then to 4 hrs. 1&1/2 weeks ago I stopped feeds from 10pm until 7am and coincided this with trying to extend her daytime naps. At first things went well, she would generally wake after 30 mins but would go back to sleep quickly with shh pat for 5-10mins (occasional PU/PD) for another 45 mins. At this time her night times were drastically improving, she would only wake two or three times a night and would go back to sleep with shh pat and the occasional PU/PD. However since those first days I was expecting things to improve further, but her naps wakings have been getting worse, and taking longer and longer to go back to sleep so now I am shh pat, shh hold or PU/PD for 40 mins during every single nap. Sometimes, she likes the shh pat, other times she prefers shh hold, only occasionally if she gets really angry do I do PU/PD but she now fights this and gets more angry. My nearly 3 year old ds is beginning to suffer as I seem to be spending so much time tying to settle dd.
I've tried W2S, both ways, shh pat just wakes her up completely and she gets very cross, W2S2 she stirs and comes completely into wakefulness gets very angry again and needs shh/pat or shh hold.

She can generally put herself to sleep well at night after bath cuddle and song.

Here is our typical day:
W 7.00
E 7.05
S 9.00
(9.30-10 shh pat)
S 10.00-10.45
E 11.00
S 12.45
(1.15-1.55 shh pat)
S 1.55-2.30
E 3.00
(4.30 try to sleep in buggy sometimes she sleeps around 5pm other times not at all)
S 5.00-5.30
E 6.15
S 6.30
NW 9.15pm
E(DF) 10.00pm
NW 2.30am
NW 4.30am

She sucks her thumb and has a cry (scream) so loud that I have to wear earplugs often to settle her.
Any advice or hope you can give me please!

[lukasmama]

I'm in the same boat feel for you

PS.If you dont mind, would you please share how you successfully extend your Lo's feeding to 3 hr and then to 4 hr? My DS nearly 4 mth, eating anywhere between 1.5 hr to sometimes 4 hr stretch (usually in the morning and the lucky days that he decides to sleep longer than 45 mins). Big thank you!

[Everhopefulinhove]

Hi lukasmama, thanks for your support. I bought the book - 'baby whisperer solves all your problems' which has been my bible, but I'll try to tell you what I did too.
I was making the classic pre-BW mistake of feeding her whenever she cried, so daytimes were more like EAES, and night time feeds became more and more frequent because she was just snacking during the day, But putting her on EASY and forcibly extending her daytime naps (shh pat back to sleep when she woke after 1st sleep cycle) her daytime eat times naturally became more spaced apart. Now with daytimes I feed only every 4 hours. So often there is some A time after waking before E but she gets a really good feed each time and therefore can easily last until the next feed without the need to snack. By sorting out the daytimes, I was more confident she could go for longer stretches at night time, so I wanted to stop feeding between 10pm and 7am. I was very nervous at first, so I cluster fed at 6, 8 & 10 pm, so that I know she had a full tummy and prepared myself for some difficult nights of shh pat and PU/PD. as it turned out she settled really easily at night without the feeds and I think now she's not fed at all for a NW there's no confusion for her if she should get food or not, She just dosn't! After 2 nights I dropped the 8pm cluster feed, however, she woke a lot out of habit around 8.15, 8.30 or 9. To break this habit, I am often having to shh pat or shh hold (by which I mean a hand on her, not actually holding her up) whatever time she woke, so she knows she dosn't get food when she wakes. I make sure she's always asleep at the dream feed.
It all worked really well for me, except for extending the daytime naps, which is really hard work because I spend so much time settling her during the day.
She's had a cold these last 2 days and her nights have been awful, ie up and down for 5 hour stretches, but her naps have been easier during the day because she is so tired. I'm hoping this is going to break the short nap cycle, but I can only hope. And I really need a good night's sleep again now!

[lukasmama]

Thanks so much for taking time and explaining in such detail! I bought the BW book which brought me to this great website

My Lo slept through the night after 10 wks, now it goes backwards. Last two nights, I tried dream feed at 11pm, and he slept to 7am! Hope your DD recovers fast from her cold, and you can have a decent night sleep!

Moving today, so will be out of internet for few days

[mamaneedsrest]

I'm new to BW and EASY (we're on day 6), but I've seen DRASTIC improvement in my 6.5 month old.  Today is the first that that I haven't had to spend 20+ minutes doing sh/pat after the first sleep cycle of a nap (she's now been down for an hour and still going!).  So I would just encourage you to keep at it.  Also, I had great success with extending my lo's wake time by just 10-15 minutes.  This has decreased the difficulty of extending her naps at that magical 30 minute mark.  The improvement in the naps have also begun to help with her constant NW (every 1.5 - 2hrs).  Mine was a great sleeper until she hit 5 months, only waking once in the night to eat at 2am.  Once the teeth, rolling over, etc. started, we've been back to square one.  Keep at it - I'm only a week in and feel really optimistic!

[Everhopefulinhove]

I had to go out yesterday and the day before and dd would only take brief naps in the buggy and it's impossible to put her back to sleep. Now she is worse than ever, waking in the night 3 timed and once for 1&1/2 first night and 2 hrs last night and today she just wouldn't go back to sleep at nap time, she was sobbing and screaming for 50 mins with me trying shh pat and PU/pd and just shh and hold hand on back and also just sitting near her and speaking softly, as she was getting angry with interaction. In the end I had to get her up for a feed, but now she's really downbeat, she hasn't slept long enough. Feeling really down about this as it is getting worse not better. Should I put her down 2 hrs since she first woke or 2 hrs since she got up? Just don't know how to proceed with this as I think this morning migh really affect her next nap.
I'm really confused about the mantra cry and why it's ok to let them cry like this, won't it make them mistrust you? just so fed up and a bit emotional from sleep deprivation, (my 3 year old is getting disturbed too, so it's affecting his sleep). I would think about a shorter nap in the morning, but surely 35/40 mins is too short! Help!