5.5 month old issues

[Dench]

I have posted a few times with various issues but I found this board so will try to get everything down this time.
My DS has always had short naps and was/is a snacker.  For the first couple of month he had 2ounces (60ml) every 2 hours.  Since finding BW a few things have improved for us but I'd like an easier life now please
2 weeks ago I started to do sleep training, before this I often fed and rocked him to sleep as he would scream blue murder and I couldn't handle it at all, I used to end up in tears myself!  So the sleep training is not too bad, I am putting him down sleepy and most of the time he is falling asleep within half an hour.  I am staying with him - is this right at the beginning of sleep training?  He has a dummy only when tired but once he is asleep he very rarely wants it back.  He does seem to have an addiction to my hand though, I used to stroke his face when he was tiny and now he grabs my hand (holds my fingers SO tightly) and pulls it over his face, so I think my hand has become a prop, is this an easy one to get rid of?
Next problem is he has never had a routine and I can't get him on EASY, his naps are usually 40 mins, occasionally he'll sleep longer but it's so unpredictable, I can only extend a nap once in a while, most of the time I give up after 15 mins or so, should I be trying for longer?  He doesn't cry, he just looks around and chatters away! 
His feeds are small for his age, usually between 3 and 5 ounces (90-150ml), although I always make bigger bottles as occasionally he will take 7 ounces (200ml)!  Because of his small feeds he has never slept through the night, he always needs to be fed.  I spent one night just settling him every time he woke in the hope that it wasn't hunger but I really believe it is hunger.  It used to be 3 times per night, then 2 and now most of the time it is just once.  He usually wakes between 1.30 and 4 so it's not a habitual waking as the time moves around.
So, he goes to sleep for the night at around 6-6.30pm (early!), I've tried to change this but it messed him up for 3 weeks where his bedtime was anytime between 5 and 9pm!  And eventually he reset himself back to 6-6.30pm.  I do a dreamfeed at 10.30 but he used to wake around 11-12 anyway, so he is often stirring at this time so I hardly see it as a DF.  Also for the last couple of weeks he is waking between 9 and 10 so I have to feed him early!  Any advice on this?  So after the DF he usually has one night feed and then wakes for the day at 5am!!  He is not hungry at this time and is often awake a couple of hours before he's hungry.  So now I've decided I will feed him at 7am even if he hasn't cried for it to try to 'condition' him, which will also be good for the future if he ever sleeps longer!
What I would really like is (1)For him to take longer naps  (2)To be able to put himself to sleep without me there and (3)To sleep longer in the morning, which means a later bedtime.
Sorry this is so long.  I will post this then start typing another one with out EAS schedule ( which mostly isn't EAS!) from the last few days.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated, thanks.

[Dench]

Our EASY:

A 0550
E 0650   110ml
A 0700
E 0715   80ml
A 0720
S 0730-0815(45mins)
A 0815
E 1000   160ml
S 1020-1200 (1hr 40mins - long nap for him!)
A 1200
E 1330   120ml
A 1345
S 1450-1525 (35mins)
A 1525
E 1630   90ml
A 1640
E 1800   150ml (he always seems to feed more just before BT)
S 1815
DF 2145   200ml (woke early)
S 2205-0140
E 0140   120ml
S 0150-0430
E 0430   190ml (this was v.unusual - coincided with hot red cheek, teething but no teeth yet)

A 0500
S 0630-0845 (2hrs 15mins, again unusual but think teething was the cause)
E 0845   140ml
A 0855
S 0930-1020 (50mins)
A 1020
E 1150  110ml + tiny amount of pureed veg and fruit
A 1200
S 1340-1500 (1hr 20mins - again the teething?)
A 1500
E 1520  120ml
A 1530
E 1750 120ml
S 1800
DF 2220   180ml
S 2235-0350
E 0350   150ml
S 0400-0520

A 0520
S 0640-0740 (1hr)
A 0740
E 0820   160ml
A 0830
S 1030-1115 (45mins)
A 1115
E 1300   80ml
A 1310
S 1320-1400 (40mins)
A 1400
E 1640   180ml
S 1650-1735 (45mins)
A 1735
E 1820   50ml
S 1845
DF 2150   200ml  (woke early)
S 2210-0230
E 0230   190ml
S 0245-0520

A 0520
E 0650   140ml
S 0700-0730 (30 mins - fed to sleep)
A 0730
S 0920-1000 (40mins but resettled so:
S 1010-1055 (45mins)
A 1055
E 1130   100ml +tiny amount of veg and fruit
A 1215
E 1300   120ml (fed to sleep)
S 1300-1340 (40mins - then managed to resettle, so:
S 1350-1515 (1hr 25mins!)
A 1515
E 1645   120ml
A 1655  Tried to get him to nap at 1700 but no luck
E 1820   130ml
S 1830-2230
DF 2230   180ml
S 2245-0320
E 0320   200ml
S 0345-0615 (a lie in!)

Ok so that's a few days worth!  It's all over the place isn't it?  You can see he feeds more when he's sleepy/asleep, don't know why, think he's distracted during the day then makes the amount up at night.
Also, for the last 2 days I've had problems with his naps again and on both days he has had an A time of 4 hours which I know is far too much but he just wouldn't go to sleep!





 

[Jiinx]

Hi hun,
 How are you doing today? Let's see if we can work through some of this..

 Short naps are so common from 3-6 months. I know you don't want to hear that and I really didn't want to hear that when my daughter was a baby..but I really struggled with her during those first few months. However, that's not to say that we can't figure something out and see if we can get somewhere with his routine.

 So you say he sleeps from 6pm to 5am? And then what's his first A time averaging? Sorry I know you wrote it all out, and I looked at it, but the numbers got a bit blurred.

For his age, his typical A time should last bw 2.25-2.5 hours and I see that he does 3 hours sometimes? Maybe too much?

Going back to his feedings, you mentioned he eats small and then eats frequently at night? Does he eat more at night? I'm just wondering if some of his short naps could be a result of discomfort from acid?

In terms of sleep training, if he needs you to be there to fall asleep, then yes, you are a prop. However, this is easy to get rid of. It's almost like shush pat..just remove yourself gradually. Perhaps replace yourself with a lovey?

I'm assuming you've seen the sample routines? Would you like to take a peek again?
* http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=164029.0
* http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=85498.0
* http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=85499.0
* http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=64402.0
* http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=649.0

[Dench]

Hi Jiinx, thanks so much for your reply and the links.  I have read through them all.  I have just recently tried to introduce a lovie, it's a toy elephant with long arms and legs so I thought if he grabbed them they may feel more like fingers!  He does seem to be liking it and squashes it into his face (which is what he does with my hand!) but often he knocks his dummy out with it and then kind of goes into a 'feeding frenzy' because he's needing to bite hard on everything at the moment.  No sign of any teeth yet but the time is obviously coming!

I've looked at the first A time over the last couple of weeks and it varies from 1hr20mins to 2hr20mins - but mostly they are between 1.5 and 2 hours.  I've always thought that you let the baby lead the way, following the sleepy cues but many posts I have read seem to say that their babies have exact A times and exact nap times.  My DS has never had this, he can sometimes have 3 naps in one day and other days have 5 or 6.  I'm just so confused with what to do next/first.

I am happy that I can at least put him in bed awake and get him to sleep there most of the time, even if it is still with my help, as this is a great improvement from what came before!

In some of my previous posts other people have suggested acid reflux, I've always thought he doesn't suffer, but recently he has been bringing up more milk after feeds but I thought this was to do with firstly his posture, as he likes to be in a sitting position and leans forward a lot and secondly, we bounce him around a lot more as this makes him giggle!  He doesn't seem to be in any pain but he is often squirmy at the beginning of a bottle and then will either settle down and drink a decent amount or just seem to stop and not want any more.  How can I be sure if he has/hasn't got reflux?  Will a GP give me something for him even if we're not sure if he has it?

Again thanks for your reply, hope I can start getting things clearer in my mind of what I need to do next.  

Oh and I don't know if this is relevant but he's quite a big boy, around 18lbs now, and has always gained weight nice and steadily.  Also he comes out as 'touchy' closely followed by 'textbook'.

So, to clarify, should I lay him in his cot, sleepy but awake, give him his dummy and elephant and leave the room?

[Jiinx]

Hi sweetie,
 reflux is sometimes really obvious in babies. With mine, she was a complete different baby when she turned 2 months. She would screeeam by 3pm - 5pm, esp if we went out. She would gulp the milk down and then cry afterwards. Her naps were awful. And she was really comfortable sleeping in a swing/car seat.

There are silent refluxers though. They are happy babies who eat well and gain weight.
* http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=654.0

You know what though, you would "sense" something is wrong. You would think something's amiss. Listen to your instincts. I dismissed my instincts - I didn't want to admit to myself that something was 'wrong' with my baby and thus thought she would get better if I watched what I ate or changed my feeding position.

Answering your other questions - so yes, the goal is to be able to do your wind down (http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=212645.0) and leave your baby to fall asleep without your help. I had to do PUPD at 6 months, introduce a lovey (http://www.angeldear.net/cuddle/blankies_cuddle.php)

In terms of baby leading versus clock watching - cues definitely work and yes, follow your baby for sure. However having said that, I would whisk my daughter away at a sight of a yawn or two and she would crrrrrry as I started my wind down. She woke up after 45 minutes happy. I didn't clue in though until 6 months or so and I had to really increase her A time to get long naps.

You kind of need to do a bit of clock watching/cue watching to get some sense of routine/sanity, ykwim?

[Dench]

Hi Jiinx, thanks for your reply and sorry I haven't replied sooner.
Just to answer a few things you said - my instinct is that he doesn't have reflux, I'm thinking maybe it's just his age and he's getting easily distracted by his surroundings.  I have had a good chat with the health visitor today and she suggested that when he wakes for his night feed (where he usually has a big bottle) to just give him water and to drop the DF completely.  I'm definately willing to give the water a go, but what are your thoughts on dropping the DF at this point?  She also said I could give him more solids during the day - I had already started weaning but just tiny amounts.
The sleep training is improving all the time but still not complete.  I still stay in the room with him, but he can't see me and I only help out with my hand (it's my hand he's addicted to!) if he's really struggling.  I can't do PU/PD because he doesn't really cry, he is just awake and squirmy and moans a bit.
His BT is getting better all the time and he has spat his dummy out and spent 10mins chatting and groaning before falling asleep a few times now    Falling asleep when out and about has also improved, in the past he would cry and cry in the pushchair or in the car seat before falling asleep, now he's got a bunny he seems to like and falls asleep chewing it's foot!
*Some* of his naps are longer but generally they are still short, 40mins.  He just doesn't seem to need a longer sleep - he wakes up happy and can stay awake 2 - 2.5 hours after a 40 min nap.  What do you think?
He is still waking early.  Last night he went to sleep at 7pm and still woke at 5am!  I kept him in his cot for an hour, giving him his dummy and his toy repeatedly, but he was just winging and moaning so I gave up at 6am and got him up and he was full of smiles, he was then awake until 7.30am before a 40 min nap!  Any suggestions on how I can get him to sleep longer in the mornings?  Will this just improve with age?
Thanks again for your help.

[Jiinx]

how are things going?!