Nearly 3 years old and wakes several times a night

[epmoreno]

I am totally desperate.

Our son is nearly 3 years old and he still wakes several times a night. It all started when we made the bed transitions and, since then and even if there are up and downs, it is not really getting better.

He wakes up at random hours and, when we take him back to his bed he still gets up several times. It really becomes a power struggle but don't know what to do. At one point we tried to put a gate but a couple of months passed and instead of working it became very traumatic so we stopped it.

We really give him a lot of love, and care, and attention so i don't know what is wrong. He knows perfectly well that he needs to stay in bed and you can read in his face when he gets up that he knows he is doing something wrong but... can't help doing it !!! He has a gro clock but really doesnt care about it.

I honestly dont know what to do. This has been going on for so long I just fear it is a behavioral issue. It is even creating problems between my husband and I because sometimes I cant help it and get really frustrated. He generally takes a softer approach and our soon seems to seek his attention at night. For example, if he is traveling and I am alone with our little one in the house, he just wakes up less.

This just seems to be a game for him or I really dont know what is crossing his mind. I appreciate any advice you can give me because I am going crazy here.

Thanks, Elena

[squeakersmum]

I have no advice I'm afraid. But I do have lots of hugs and empathy! My DS is just the same. We literally don't know what to do! I'll be reading along with interest but honestly, my DH and I have resigned ourselves to the fact that it's a phase he will grow out of eventually.

[epmoreno]

Thanks for the support Steph. I also want to believe that is a phase, even if it is proving to be a long one :-(

May I ask how do you handle it? do you just take him to his bed? do you try to reason or show you are upset? I guess all kids are different and what works for some doesnt work for others but thought I would ask....

[Shiv52]

{{{hugs}}}

I do think it is a phase.  But a phase that can become drawn out if you  give it too much attention.  I think its important for you and DH to do exactly the same thing.  I would probably not say anything much at all.  If he comes in simply say 'the sun is not up on your clock, it is still night time, back to bed' and put him back in bed and then maybe say 'you get up when the sun comes on' and leave. 

What is happening at the minute when you return him?  Is there much talking?  Hugs, kisses? 

[scucci1979]

So many hugs.   
Mine wakes up at least 2 times. the first nw, I bring her back to bed and stay with her for a minute. The second nw, she comes to sleep on her Cinderella bed in our room. I am hoping this too is a phase.

[epmoreno]

Thanks for all your messages. Is great to see that I am not alone and also to feel the support.

There are not kisses or laughs when we return him to bed but the moment he is back he gets up again. And if he doesnt do it immediately then he is up 20 minutes later ! The problem is that he doesn't get bored of it and there is no physical way of stopping him unless we lock his door.

Maybe we should just do that?

I also want to think this is just a phase but we have been like this for more than 9 months and honestly I dont know how how much longer can I take it !