Please please please help! V.stressed, 9 month old NW

[senojylrac]

 

For a while Eli was sleeping really well, going down at 8pm...sleeping through until 4am, at which point I'd give him a feed, he'd fall asleep mid feed and I'd put him back down in the cot, where he'd sleep through til 8am.

My Mum seemed to think I should be putting him down to bed at 6pm ("because most 9 mnth old babies are already in bed wayy before 8pm :grr: ) So, I started him going to bed at 6. So far he's STTN ONCE, but apart from that he's waking more than once at night. I spoke to the HV the other day and she said that I should try putting him down a bit later again, say 7pm...but when he wakes up in the night he won't need a feed, she said it's probably separation anxiety and i should just pat him/shush him/give him a little cuddle and then walk out nd leave him to go back off..

It's not as simple as that tho. It sounds awful but if he just cried I wouldn't find it so bad...but he doesn't just cry..he screams. He really forces it too, it sounds soo sore. I can tell he's forcing it, but it goes on for agess. Last night he was doing it for at least an hour, with me going in to him on and off in between. I ended up bringing him into bed with me and feeding him off to sleep, which worked straight away...

I just don't know what to do. I don't know whether he might be better in his own room and that maybe I'm disturbing him by moving around in my sleep? Or whether moving him to his own room will make it even worse? My mum thinks I shouldn't move him as "he's already been through a lot in his life and he's only 9 months old" (his dad and I split when he was 3 months, we've just recently moved house, we're now getting the kitchen and bathroom refitted)

Anyone got any advice/success stories? He's such a good boy during the day and has a morning and afternoon nap every day so I don't think he's overtired. But this night waking is stressing me out :cry:

Thanks for reading everyone :flower::flower:

[senojylrac]

Big hello and welcome to BW forum 

So many hugs have you read any of Tracy Hoggs books?

Could you post your easy so we can see what is happen during your day?

Could he be teething ?  What about milestone has he learnt any thing new? 

SA is a big thing around this age so it could be that

We here don't believe in CIO or CC Tracy taught us there was better and kinder ways to help are lo

I feel he would be ready to go in to his own room does he have his nap there ?

So many hugs

Jane

Hi thanks for replying..Yes he is teething, he's had two come through recently..He's hitting milestones at a rate of knots, is now able to stand on his own unaided for a couple of seconds, cruising round the furniture..He doesn't nap in his own room as I only moved here about a month ago and his room isn't sorted for him to go into yet. He normally naps on me (after a feed), in his pram if we're out for a walk, or in his carseat in the car. If I'm home I'll try and feed him and then move him to his cot once he's asleep. As I said were having a new kitchen and bathroom fitted at the moment so that probably doesn't help either..?!

I always said I don't like the idea of CIO or CC anyway and would prefer to use other techniques. I think I'm listening to other people too much to be honest..!

[clairebear79]

Agree with PP it sounds like your LO may have become used to falling asleep on you, and so when he wakes in the night, he is confused b/c he's no longer in your arms, and he needs your help to get him back to sleep again.  Also, could you post your routine in the following format Eat, Activity, Sleep, so we have a better idea of the timings of his naps every day, as sometimes this can have an impact on your nights.  For e.g.

E: 7am
A: 7 - 9.30
S: 9.30-11  and so on

p.s. WRT your routine - most mums tend to go with 7am-7pm, but I just wanted to say if 8am-8pm is what suits you, there is nothing wrong in doing that!  Ideally you are aiming for a 12hr day.

HTH.x