HELP!! 21 month old w/ new sleep issues

[bbandit]

I'm so confused.  My little man is 21 months old.  Right before the time change we began the 2 to 1 transition.  I wasn't happy AT ALL with this big transition happening during the tough time change, but he pretty much demanded the switch.  It went pretty well.  We had the expected early wakings and I slowly pushed his schedule by 15 minutes to get back to the "pre time change" schedule.  We had one great day.  He slept until 7 a.m., went down for his nap 5 1/2 hours later and then the power went out mid nap.  the thunder, lightening, rain, and "stillness" due to the power being out woke him right up.  It seems like we've been in a tailspin ever since.  He had to go down super early that night, which brought the return of our early mornings again.  Now, we are struggling to even get a good nap out of him.  Yesterday was an hour and 20 minutes.  I tried for a cat nap in the p.m. to allow a better bed time, but he refused.   So, he was down for the night by 6 p.m.

He woke this morning at 5:30, and talked until 6 and then went back to sleep until 7:20.  I put him down for his nap at 12:30 (and he CRIED...he never does that) and 40 minutes later he was up.  I'm not SURE what the culprit was...it could be his terrible new sleep issues, or the fact that his sisters are home today and MAY have woken him up arguing!    Now, he's up and it's only 1:10 p.m.  I'm going to try for a late cat nap, but given his new resistance to nap time, I'm afraid it won't work and we'll have to do another 5:30 bed time.

HELP!!!  In the middle of all this time change mess, there was also an ear infection.  I don't know WHERE to start or how to fix this.  He was doing SO great before.  Sleeping 11 hours at night and taking a 2 to 2 1/2 hour nap.  And now we are in a mess.  ANY advice would be great.  How do I get him back to napping if i can't get him to bed later and sleep in later?

Thanks,
Trisha 

[Colin Macs Mom]

bumping up for you

[bbandit]

Thanks!  Super frustrated.  Got his night pushed back a little bit further to 6:40 and his morning has been pushed to 6:15.  But, now he's refusing his nap.  He has never been one to do this.  His eyes roll back in his head with exhaustion if I go up to sing to him but when I leave it's kicking, screaming, crying, throwing his pacifiers out of the crib, etc...I've gone up three times and he's been trying to sleep since 11:45.  It's now 12:30 and I THINK he's finally going to sleep.  That makes an A time of 6h and 15m. 

I'm thinking he's still OT and this is a product of that, rather than UT.  Any help is greatly appreciated.

[Colin Macs Mom]

Definitely sounds like OT to me.   You might try putting him down sooner than you would normally.

[Roseii]

Hi there, can you give us your current schedule?
And is he sttn? Cx

[bbandit]

Well, there is no current schedule since the time change.  We have played it by ear b/c EVERY day is different.  Some days a 5:10 wake up, some days a 5:30 wake up, and then this weekend we had 2 random wake ups at 7:30 a.m.  THAT was a nice surprise.  His naps have been about an hour and 20 minutes to an hour and 40 minutes, but before the time change they were about 2 hours or even longer. 

I can tell you that we were (and still are) doing about a 5 1/2 hour A time before his nap.  Today, that resulted in a nap of one hour and 25 minutes. 

Right before the time change and ear infection we had done the 2-1 transition and this was his approximate schedule...

Awake - 6:45 (sometimes closer to 7)
eat breakfast, play, eat lunch
Nap - 12:15 p.m.
Awake - 2:30 p.m. (sometimes a little earlier, sometimes a little later)
eat and play, wind down
Bedtime - 7:30

It seems to me that he just hasn't switched with the time change yet b/c his bed time and his awake time are each about an hour earlier.  Why that is resulting in a shorter nap though, I'm not sure!?  Maybe some OT? 

I was reading that Weissbluth suggests adjusting to the time change by forcing the nap to be the same time as it was before the time change (which will feel an hour late to him).  His reasoning is that pushing the nap later in the day will result in a shorter awake time before bed, which is helpful b/c kids "tanks" aren't quite as full in the evening.  What do you think about this?  We were tentatively planning to do another early bedtime tonight to prevent OT and then try pushing his nap later tomorrow. 

I could try doing it more slowly too, but that was the plan from day 1 and we seem to be paralyzed w/ the early wake and the bad nap.  I guess adjust his A time could be an option too.

Thanks,
Trisha   

[bbandit]

Had a good night/morning and terrible nap.  He went to bed at 6:40 last night and was up at 6:45 a.m. today.  Tried to go "weissbluth" and similar to what i've seen some ladies on here say and kept him awake until his normal "pre time change" nap time of 12:30.  He made it fine, but then woke from his nap after just an hour and 10 minutes.  This is crazy!!  One hour isn't enough to get him to a decent nap time.  Where did my napper go? 

[Roseii]

sorry hun haven't abandoned you, I'll be back tomorrow with some thoughts xx

[bbandit]

That would be great!  He's just so inconsistent right now.  I work really hard to fix the problem, we get a good day and a good night, and then back to square one the next day.  Yesterday is a perfect example.  He woke up at 6:30 a.m.  In an effort to get to a later bedtime, I kept him up before his nap a little longer than normal.  I put him down at 12:10 and he slept until 2:20 p.m.  He's only given me a nap that long a handful of times these last couple of weeks.  He then went to bed at 7:20 p.m. (we're shooting for an 11 hour night and a 2 hour nap, for 13 hours total).  But, it didn't work this morning he was awake at 5:45 a.m. 

Do I shoot for his normal 5 1/2 hour A time and do an 11:15 nap (which is SOOO early), or force him to make it to his more normal nap time of about 12 o'clock? 

Thanks,
Trisha

[Roseii]

Hiya, have you noticed if he seems to do better on longer mornings or longer afternoons? My two always needed a shorter morning then a decent A time til bed, kwim? However as you're getting quite EWs I'd be inclined to push him a bit later, he is 21mo right? 5.5 hours A time shouldn't generally
Be a big issue at that age. I'd push to 12 today and hope he does 2 hours. If you're not getting 13 hours total yet don't worry, I don't generally get that much with my 17mo.
Xx

[gormella]

hi

I'm in a bit of a similar position with my 20 month DD who was an EASY baby.   She sleeps really well through the night 12-13 hours bless her and has always enjoyed her naps.  She has always seemed to prefer the morning nap from what I can tell and has a long afternoon A time instead. This is great for me as I can take her out after lunch for the whole afternoon.

We are early risers and she goes to bed at 6 and generally wakes between 6 and 7 am and this suits me fine.  So she used to have her nap around 4 hours later, between 10 and 11am for an hour to an hour and a half but lately she has had a cold virus and is skipping naps.  I think I'm missing her sleep cues and she gets OT.  But also she is a bottom shuffler and is not yet walking (close but not thereyet) but has recently learnt to sit up on her own and pull up on the cot side.  When she cries at nap time and I go in, she is usually sitting up very very tired with her arms outstretched for a cuddle and I find this very hard to resist!  I have tried to WIWO and resettling but she gets more and more upset and never settles so I have to abandon the nap altogether and give her a slightly earlier bedtime to avoid NW (per Weissbluth, my Hero)

So I guess I have to just ride it out and see when the developmental things calm down and try some earlier nap timings.  I've tried later morning naps and they don't work, neither does getting her up and trying for a nap later on, she point blank refuses!!  like BBandit says, some times I think we are back on track then it starts all over again with the skipping naps and we are back to square one!

I'm not complaining as she does get a good night sleep but I'm wondering also whether she has had her full daily quota of sleep at night and so doesn't want/need to take any day sleep?  Could that be it? But then she is tired when she doesn't nap and has cat napped on me in the chair after I've picked her up from the cot after not settling? 

Hmmm napping issues are a mystery aren't they?  I'm so happy to be able to read and share with other Mummies as my DH doesn't understand at all and has no interest in helping me with this! 

X

[bbandit]

He seems SOOO close to getting this right again.  It just seems like we get a great day, then the next is good but not AS good, then by day three it's back to the bad day. 

The past few days for example....

Day One - Slept until almost 6:30.  Down for a nap between 12 and 1 p.m. and slept for 2 hours 10 minutes.  Went to bed after 7 p.m.  GREAT!!

Day Two - Woke up at more like 6.  Down for a nap around noon and slept for an hour and 40 minutes.  Had to go to bed right at 7 p.m.  Pretty good, but not as great as day one. 

Day Three - Up at 5:45 a.m.  Stretched him to preserve nap time and put him down around 11:45.  He slept for an hour and 15 minutes.  Was CRAZY exhausted and had to be in bed by 6:20 p.m....up this morning at 6:10 a.m.

This is our pattern.  We work, work, work for a good day.  It happens, and then within three days we are back to the "ugly" days.  This definitely started with the time change.  I wish I could have my 7:45 p.m. until 7:00 a.m. w/ a 2 hour nap baby back!!  At this point, I'm content with giving up the dream of pushing bed time/morning time later and just am aiming for a decent nap.  He is a VERY active little boy and he AND Mommy need more than an hour break. 

You asked if he's better with longer A times in the morning or afternoon.  He disguises his sleepiness pretty well.  But, I believe he does better in the morning.  In the afternoon he gets incredibly happy, chatty, silly and into EVERYTHING which tells me that he's exhausted and trying to stay awake.  So, I'm inclined to make the morning A time longer. 

His better behavior in the morning is why I've chosen to stick to a 12 ish nap time no matter how early he wakes up.  But, maybe I'm doing this wrong?  Maybe he's overtired?  I don't know anymore. 

Set nap time?  Earlier bed time?  Any suggestions at all would be great.  I put him down early last night and we got a great 12 hour night, BUT I think that is what results in the short nap.  This boy is making me GRAY!!   

[Roseii]

Quite often their bodies are set for how long their nights will be, kwim? So lots of people say "he's an 11-hour nighter whatever I do" Do you think this is the case with DS? Is he a 12 hour boy?
I haven't done set naps but our routine is all over the place I think it's worth a try.

TBH he is doing really, really well. I know your bad days are a bummer, but overall, to me, it looks like he's doing great

[bbandit]

Well, ever since we switched to 1 nap he has been about an 11 hour a night sleeper with a 2 hour nap (give or take...usually 1h 40m to 2h 20m).  Since the time change he has been all over the place.  If he has a short nap and I time bedtime just right, then he WILL do 12 hours at night, but not really a guarantee anymore.  Inconsistency is the name of the game now.

I guess technically his schedule is doing "okay".  But, the switch in his schedule is DRASTIC and it happened overnight, it seems.  He BARELY can tolerate this short 1h 10m nap.  He's hyperactive and over tired by 6 p.m.  So, to go from an 11 hour night and 2 hour nap (with a 7:30 bedtime and a 6:45 a.m. wake up) to a 1h nap w/ a 5:45 wake up time is pretty stinky to us!    

But, I have a NEW problem.  He learned last night to escape his crib!!!  Of course he also threw up last night, so as you can imagine we had a very frustrating evening.  He escaped twice and then we took action.  We took the bumper beds out of the crib.  We put a knob protector on his door.  Also, his crib is higher on one side than the other, so we turned it so that the short side was facing the wall.  He slept peacefully all night long but was awake at 5 a.m.!!!  We thought that he would probably go back to sleep, but the stinker figured out that even though the tall part of the crib was too high to escape he could just go over the sides on either end of the bed!!  He is too smart for his own good.  I guess I'll be reading up on babies that escape their beds at a young age and see if maybe a crib tent will do the trick. 

He is just SO different than my girls were.  They both slept peacefully in their cribs until they were 3 years old.  We moved them to a bed b/c their cribs were getting too small, never because of an "escape".  He keeps me on my toes, for sure!! 

[Roseii]

Uh oh, def look into a crib tent!!
So outline your routine for me again, as it stands now?