Taking away the bottle at night for a toddler

[kerryt]

Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease heeeeeeeeeeeeelp!!!

I am 3 months pregnant and my 20 month old son has slept through the night once in his whole life! Long story short he started sleeping longer stretches at night when he was about 6 weeks but then at 3 months he just refused to drink milk in the day and squirmed at the bottle only drinking a few ounces at a time. The only time he would drink his milk with little fussing was when he was falling asleep or asleep. The doc gave me reflux meds thinking it might be that that was troubling him but no change. Anyway eventually I just accepted it and tried to give him as much milk as I could anytime he would take it which was mainly at night or when he was falling asleep for his naps and bedtime. He still only drinks milk if hes tired and refuses to hold the bottle, I have to do it for him . He is funny with milk even as a milkshake, just blankly refuses it on after the first sip.

Anywho! He still wakes up at night for the bottle and for the last week Ive just refused to give it to him, on the fourth night he slept straight through! I was absolutely thrilled (not having slept properly in nearly 2 years), but for the past 2 nights its the worst its ever been! EVER!! He starts to wake up after about 1:30am and I give him juice which he refuses and then is restless and cries on and off for the rest of the night (every 20/30 mins) until his wake time.

I do feel he eats enough in the day, hes ok with solids, a bit fussy but I do try get enough down him to last through the night.

I am beyond shattered! Please help, has anyone got any advise how I can teach him to sleep through before the next one comes along

He is also getting his canines at the mo, I give him nurofen at night but it doesnt seem to help

[Lolly]

What's your whole routine like at the moment? What time does he wake up, nap and go to bed. Does he have a dummy/paci or a lovie he takes to bed with him?

With the bottle, if you haven't given it to him for a couple of nights then don't give it back! He doesn't need milk at night now, he doesn't even need to drink milk at all really if he doesn't like it you can get other sources of calcium in him. If he does eat things like cheese and yoghurt you can increase his intake of those to make up for milk.

It could well be the teeth causing part of the problem, we had the best success with giving ibuprofen at bedtime when they had full tummies and then paracetamol as a dream med or if they woke in the early hours.

Laura

[kerryt]

Thanks Laura

This is his routine at the mo:

7:30 wake up, I give him a bottle to wake him up because if hes fully awake he wont drink it, even if Im holding it for him, he has around 4 ounces

9am Breakfast (weetabix with strawberries and banana)

11am 2 youghurt and 1 or two pieces of fruit

11:30 nap (sometimes he has bottle, 3 or 4 ounces)

1pm wake up from nap

1:30 lunch, sandwich and a peice of fruit

3/4pm snack, a yoghurt or two

6pm Dinner, something like mince and rice with veg
7pm a yohghurt or fruit

8pm bed (with dummy), he has another 4 ounces or so when hes ready for bed

Im going to get some paracetamol today and try that tonight if hes a pain

[Lolly]

I would stop the bottles completly to be honest. He *should* really be off botttles by now anyway and if he is having milk when he is really sleepy, even at wake up he may be linking bottles with sleep which is why you are getting issues at night. He has milk in his cereal, he has plenty of yoghurt through the day so he won't be missing anything by not drinking milk. You can offer him milk in a cup with his meals and water in between meals.

Looking at your routine I wonder if pushing the nap a bit later may help? He has 4 hours A time up to his nap but 7 hours from nap to bed, if you move the nap to make the two parts of the day more equal that may help. He could be getting over tired with the long afternoon, so if you push the nap to 12.30/1 it may help. You may not be able to move the nap in a jump, you may have to do it in 10-15 min increments over a few days.

What do you think?

Laura

[*Ali*]

I see you're getting some great advice from Laura. I second all she has said.

I am just going to move this to toddler sleep since your LO is over 12mo.

[kerryt]

Thank you for your advise. I have tried not giving him milk as my mother suggested it but he wakes up after 2 hours of going to bed crying for it and then again after every hour if I dont give it to him. I have seen a sleep expert and she has said if the habit is not broken after 3 or 4 days of taking away the bottle at night then she believes that he is in fact still hungry! I think I give him ample amount of food so I just feel like Im going round in circles:(

I wish he would have his nap later! lol He can certainly maintain till 12:30 but he wakes up at 2 and then he will not fall asleep until at least 9:30pm. It took me a while to try figure out a routine for him because no matter what time he wakes up after a nap, it takes him 7 hours (and about half an hour to actually fall asleep) till hes tired enough to sleep again. I cant understand it but I have given up trying to put him down at 8 when hes had a late nap because he just doesn't fall asleep until an hour and a half later.   

His teeth seem to be really bothering him lately, and the nights have got so much worse:( I am wondering if I should wait till these canines are out (only one has cut through so far) before I carry on with taking away his milk at night. At the moment he starts waking up at 12 and cries on and off until 5 when I give him a bottle,I just could not physically last till 7:30 any longer. What do you think Laura? I really dont want to give up but something has to give because I am running on empty:( Getting through each day is such battle, I am just not coping

[*Ali*]

I completely disagree with your sleep expert. Unless he has some special medical need - which I'm assuming he doesn't - there is on way he cannot go 10-12hrs overnight without a feed. The older los get the longer it takes to break a habit because they have longer memories. I weaned a NF using pd wo when my DS1 was 12.5mo and it took 5 nights of 2-3hr screaming protests then the 6th and 7th night he only protested for 10 and 2mins and he's Sttn ever since. He wasn't hungry he just didn't want things to change. I think the same is true of your DS.
If i were you i would let him have milk earlier in his BT routine like at story time then brush teeth change nappy or whatever. That way you can be happy he is full at BT and not be worrying about it overnight. If you're too tired to see it through right now perhaps take a few days to recover and then start when you're more rested. But once you start it's important to see it through or you'll just be teaching him that he just needs to cry long enough and you'll give him a bottle. And that will make any subsequent attempts to wean it even harder.
another way people wean bottles is to gradually reduce the amount you offer over several days. But personally i think that is unnecessary at this age. And may not work since I'm sure this is not really a hunger issue but a sleep issue. I.e. He is used to getting a bottle when he wakes before he goes back to sleep.

[Lolly]

I completely agree with Ali - he doesn't need the bottles over night. I weaned my DD's nightfeed at 8.5 months, so if a baby that age can go 12 hours so can a toddler. In fact, there are plenty of days now when my toddler eats nothing for tea and she doesn't have bedtime milk anymore and she sleeps through the night without waking from hunger. In fact, the more milk he has at night the less he will eat in the day.

The trouble with toddlers is they have long memories and short tempers so if you don't stick to what you want he will remember and it makes it harder. You need to decide what you want to do and stick to it - I would only offer water after the bedtime feed if anything and yes you will have a few very bad nights but he will get it.

Waking in the early part of the evening is usually a sign of over tired too. Have you tried the meds for teeth too?

{{HUGS}} I know it's hard, but you can do it.