25 month old, so OT we can't get her to sleep

[skipper11]

Hi there.  Thanks to people on this board months (years?) ago, my 2.25 year old daughter is a beautiful sleeper.  We've had our bumps along the way, but nothing that hasn't resolved itself fairly quickly.  However, we are in quite the pickle now and I have no idea what to do.  I'm past trying to figure out what is causing this -- right now we just need to get her to sleep so she's not so OT, but I really don't know how.  Here's what we're dealing with:

Christmas Eve and Christmas we stayed at my MIL's new house, at which daughter (S) had never slept.   She's not in daycare, has never had in-laws close by, so isn't used to sleeping away from home.  We knew this and stayed in the room until she fell asleep both nights.  (We have done this before and returned home with no problems.)  She had a lot of trouble falling asleep on 12/24 and was way OT.  So on 12/25 I took her home for her nap, she slept 2 hours, and she went to bed okay (only getting about 10 hours total sleep instead of 11) at MIL's that night.

Came home on the 26th and she had a little trouble going down for her nap (wanted daddy in room) but fell asleep with him in there.  Had a hard time going to bed that night, we finally left her alone to whine/cry (a mantra cry) for 10 minutes or so.  I really can't remember what happened with her nap yesterday, but I know it wasn't easy and we tried to put her to bed early.  Husband tried staying in there awhile and she just kept staring at him and wouldn't go to sleep.  Finally we let her whine/cry for about 25 min and she fell asleep.  She was never really upset, just whining on and off. 

I know this is really long, so here’s where things go really awry:  She woke up at 2:30 am last night (had slept through the night every night since 12/24 despite other issues).  She didn’t go back to sleep until 7 am, and then woke at 7:30.  With the NW she started screaming every time we left the room, so husband tried to stay in there with her until she fell asleep.  She was not crying while in her crib, just sitting up – sometimes quiet, sometimes chatty, but screaming as soon as we even thought about leaving.

He sat in there with her for 1.5 hours at naptime today before giving up.  A couple of hours later (while I was at the doctor) he let her scream for 20 minutes and she finally passed out. 

I have no idea what to do tonight.  I know she needs to go to bed super early.  But how do we get her to sleep?  I’m willing to do whatever it takes to get her to sleep and deal with the ramifications later, but what do we do?  We both agree that WI/WO will rile her up and make her really upset, but when we try (the beginning of) GW, she doesn’t sleep either.  When we even suggested putting her in her crib last night she went bananas.  She’s too big and too independent to fall asleep in our arms. 

2 year molars aren’t all the way in yet and last night she complained that her ear hurt.  Going to see doctor shortly.  I know something might be up and she needs us, but I have no idea how to get her to sleep (without letting her scream until she gives up, which I do not want to do).  She's always been a high sleep needs really sensitive to OT.

Any thoughts would be greatly, greatly appreciated.  Thanks!

[Buntybear]

Sorry that you are going through this, it is upsetting when they go through patches like this. We went through it in the last week or so (still not really through it now). For naps DH resorted to driving in the car. BTs are OK but we still have to stay until he is asleep.

As you say you just have to do whatever it takes to get her to sleep at the moment. I have no ideas that I am sure you haven't tried but just hang in there - it will pass!

[skipper11]

Thanks for the support!  Turns out she does have a severe ear infection, so thank goodness we didn't let her cry it out last night -- I would hate myself. (That's what I have to constantly remind hubby -- she doesn't do this normally so something must be wrong.)

Anyway, just in case anyone has been going through something similar I just stayed in her room until she fell asleep. It took an hour, and I had to play possum (I feigned sleep and didn't move or respond to her at all) and she finally quit fighting it and fell asleep (thank goodness!).  We'll see how the rest of the night goes.

Although I really wish she wasn't sick, it is good to know that there's a reason for this. I'm really glad I can get support for not crying it out here -- which seems harder and harder to come by now that she's 2. Thank you!

[Buntybear]

Hi, well at least you now what it is now. Hopefully anti biotics should start clearing it quickly. You trust your mummy instinct and were right! You will always find support against CIO here. There are always ways round it x

[skipper11]

I just wanted to update in case anyone else is out there doubting themselves ... but we just put her to bed and pre-bedtime we kept explaining that we were going to leave her to fall asleep on her own -- when I went to put her in bed she said "Mommy will sit in rocking chair."  I said, no, but I'll be right downstairs and she laid down.  She's up there still not making a peep!

Personally, I tend to get really nervous when things go awry because I assume that if we don't take action they will be bad forever -- but she's pretty good about fixing things on her own when it is time.  Whew!  Thanks for the support!

[Buntybear]

That is great news