Feels like a new mommy although i have 2 other children.

[Mrsols828]

I tried the shh/pat from the beginning of the nap and he just lays there smiling at me. Seems to wake him up more. Last night was pretty bad, I got him to sleep but he woke up every 10-20 mins from 8 till 2 in the morning until I just gave up because I was so tired. So I took him in my bed not happy about it but I thought I was going to lose it. And during thoes times he woke up I sat there and shh/pat for 10 min and he cried the whole time so I picked him up. I even brought back te pacifier. (I dunno if I mention above he use to take it then no longer wanted it) but I decided it may work. And he actually slept a bit longer after having it.

This morning he woke up at 8, I just fed him at 9, and I'm about to put him down for a nap in his crib. I know it's not gunna be all good in a day but I figured something would change. Atleast a little.

I looked at the amounts of sleep for 5 month old and I wish he would take a 2 hr nap. That just doesn't happen. Is it possible he is teething and that's why I'm having such a hard time? Because he use to nap pretty good atleast an hour (in a swing) but he won't even do that anymore.

[Katet]

If you put him in the crib & he lies there smiling, don't touch him, try to walk away even or just sing a lullaby or _(because I can't sing) read to him, I actually read the book I was reading because it was the sound of my voice not the words at that age.
Did he have any solids yesterday? frequent waking like that was my DS1's reaction to any orange food (Pumpkin, carrots, Kumera)

[Mrsols828]

He has had solids. Mostly bananas and apples. Or bananas and oranges I think it is? I'd have to go check. But yesterday I didn't feed him any. I believe it was firsttimemummy who said I should stop. I'm on my iPod at the moment so it's hard for me to check exactly what she said. Im sure one day won't make a difference yet but yeah haven't giving him any yesterday or today.

[*Ali*]

I tried the shh/pat from the beginning of the nap and he just lays there smiling at me.

If he can see you to smile then I'm guessing you're not blacking out the room. Could you try making the room completely dark so he cannot see you to interact. But yes as Kate said if he is happy when you put him in the cot you can just leave him to it. 5 mins of shh/pat is not a lot at all (although I know it seems like forever when it's you doing it) so I think you could perhaps try it for longer. I also find that my LO is more happy when I just hold my hand on him firmly and just shush rather than patting. Although actually he seems to be warming to it now so their preferences do change I guess.

[Ima shel Alon]

Looking at your EASY from January 20th and reading what you are describing happening at night, your LO sounds like he might be UT. I think the way to go would be to increase his A by 10-15min from what he is doing now. You are then aiming for at least a 1.5 h nap and when your naps will stretch naturally your EASY cycles will be longer and you won't be feeding so often as now. Does that make sense?
I'm sorry if I missed this (hard to read the whole thread back) but is he BF or FF?

And I really want to second Ali - pat/shh could take a long time and it's a tool you need to be persistent with, but you will also see that the time you need to do pat/shh is getting shorter. Don't worry, you will not sit forever and shh him in a dark room, it will not be your life forever but it does take time.

[firsttimemummy]

Forgot to ask if he has always woken up so much in the night? I found that O used to sleep long stretches until around 4 months old then would waken for more feeds (from one at most, to 4!!) - I know others (and the recommendations) say not to start solids - but I found it did help O sleep better at night.  If he has always woken so much in the night to b/feed then I don't think that is the issue.  Also, if he is snacking a lot during the day (frequent feeds) then he is probably not taking enough at each feed to stretch his tummy to get full for longer.  Sticking/working towards a 4 hour EASY will help this.

[firsttimemummy]

This was one of my first posts but it may be of use to you (M went from chaos to sleeping independently after this) - have a read if you have the time and see if it helps. http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=153463.msg1711070#msg1711070

[Mrsols828]

He has always woken up at night.. Many times. Im sure its because i usually just pop out the boobie and he is fine. its just so easy... yeah i know i really shouldnt. Im the reason he his the way he is now.. I have tried all weekend to get him to sleep in that dang crib and it just doesnt work.. I went back and put him in the swing.

This was actually adivce form my hubby. He thought maybe he doesnt like the quiet.. So i put his swing in the dinning room, closer to all of us and turns out he does sleep better when there is noise around him..surprisingly.. I also brought back the pacifier and it does seem to help, (only at naps and BT) I also swaddle his arms, not his legss cuz i heard its bad for the hips? But when doing that he just kicks so much. And thats all he does. Cries and kicks..

Im thinking im not giving myself nor him enough time. i dont have anyone to come help me out at all... I barley have any friends or family.. Im really stressed out because of all of this.. Its all on me.. Its really hard to do all of this and take care of 2 other kids, cook and clean, i know it can be done yet i cant understand why im having such a hard time. Im 20 years old and i dont even have a drivers license.. Im sorry for putting all this i know this is a site to talk about babies and whatnot but i really dont have anyone to talk to about it. I have one bestfriend but she has a baby the same age as mine and i feel as if i bother her with all my troubles..

Anyways back to the point.. He has started to eat less often now, im able to get him to sleep (in the swing) but he still doesnt sleep usually for longer then 30 mins. If he wakes up should i try to get him back to sleep to sleep for the full 1.5 hrs? (sometimes he wakes up happy but then is cranky maybe 10 mins after)

[Mrsols828]

also, in the middle of the night, how do i put him back to sleep? Do i pick him up and rock him or do the shh/pat thing? I try that so many times it just seems like i am doing it forever!


And could someone give me a sample routine i can work for? We truly do not have one rigth now, i pretty much go by what he tells me he needs. (not tells me but you know what i mean)

[Ima shel Alon]

Sweety, it really broke my heart to read what you wrote. be good to yourself, we are all doing the best we can and so do you. You are raising three children for god's sake, you should be proud of yourself.

I don't seem to really understand if you want to wean him from feeding to sleep. There is no right answer BTW, I just want to know if that is what you want us to help you with.
If you do want that he learns to be more an independent sleeper then what you could do is this:
It's pretty normal for a BF baby to still NF at 5 months. So lets say that you pick 2 times during the night that you would feed him, lets say for the sake of the example midnight and 4. If he wakes up before that you don't feed and just pat/shh, try to settle him back to sleep. I suggest you don't rock him because then you start a new prop.
When midnight comes you feed and same goes to 4AM. Whatever NW he has other than these two wakings you just try to settle.
I am not going to lie to you, you might have some rough nights, but it will get better and after a while you could get some sleep yourself

Shh/pat takes time to implement. You do shh/pat for 15min and then cave in and feed him you are confusing him and will make hardly any progress.
Are you using white noise? Many mommies find it helps, including myself.

The other thing is not to rush in too soon. When he fusses at night don't go straight away to him, don't go in if he is mantra crying because he is trying to sooth himself. You can go in when you hear that "I need you now" cry and shh/pat.

Here are a few sample routines: http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=164029.0

Saying all that I say, it's my suggestion but I am not in your shoes and don't know what would be realistic for you if you are doing it all alone.
Can you DH help? Maybe pick a time that he is at home like the weekend to help you with the shh/pat?
(((Hugs))) coming your way.

[firsttimemummy]

Hugs - agree 100% with IsA ....  you are doing a great job.  It IS tiring and a lot of hard work (even with just M I enjoyed working 10hrs a week as it was actually a rest going to work!).  It is important that you find some time for yourself - as your LOs get older this will get easier.

I would have a look at the sample routines above and see which one seems most like what your LO already does, or suits you/your family.  When you are starting a routine from scratch (ie don't currently have a vaguely set routine) you need to ignore sleepy cues etc and stick to the routine (the thread I linked to about when M was  6 months old has some great advice about doing this).  It will take a good few days to get things going more smoothly but worth it.

In terms of the feeding before night sleep a lot of us manage this with success (if their lo's sleep without a feed at other times) - even just the stirring of putting them into bed etc can help them not be in a deep sleep and interfere.

[*Ali*]

Have you tried white noise?

[Mrsols828]

I guess it's just keeping him asleep. I can get him to sleep but e wakes 20 mins after everytime. I don't have any white noise for him. I have a bear that makes sounds like he's still in the womb like the heart beat. And another thing that lights up blue and plays soft music.

[firsttimemummy]

If you use one of the routines from the links above and start consistently putting him down at those times (give or take 5/10 mins) and extend naps to ensure he is sleeping a good length of time, he should start to sleep longer.  It will take his body clock a bit of time to get used to doing these longer naps, but he will if you are consistent. 

I found around this age that the womb-noise machine we had actually annoyed O and he slept better without it.  Have you tried that? I am also wondering if the thing that lights up is disturbing him? Blue light can actually help people stay away (I found this out recently on a different thread on bw!!!) so maybe keeping that out of his cot could help.