Author Topic: Activities for me and my boy?  (Read 6151 times)

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Offline <Catherine>

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Activities for me and my boy?
« on: January 22, 2012, 10:21:15 am »
Not sure if this should be here, or in G&D? Feel free to move  :D

I'm struggling to find things to do WITH my son at home  :-\

If I get an activity out - be it baking, colouring, playdoh, etc - he either loses interest and walks off within minutes, or he just wants me to do it whilst he watches. He'll tell me which bits to colour, give me the pencils he wants me to use, etc, but if I try to get him to do it he just gets annoyed and shouts "No you do it Mummy!".

If he's doing any of these things with other children involved he loves it and will get totally into it and sit there for ages. Not sure if it's me, or the lack of other children  :-\

Any other suggestions of things we can do at home TOGETHER? He is getting into reading now but I think he'll only take so much of that, and wants to do puzzles but gets very frustrated with them still.

I also want to try to teach him letters and numbers - as in to recognise them. He counts and speaks brilliantly - he's definitely beyond his years with his speech - but he cant recognise a number/letter in a book. Any ideas on the best way to do this? Is a book the best option or did anyone have success with another method?
Catherine x








Offline RachelC

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Re: Activities for me and my boy?
« Reply #1 on: January 23, 2012, 03:05:49 am »
*bumping* this for more eyes  :-*


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Offline creations

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Re: Activities for me and my boy?
« Reply #2 on: January 23, 2012, 20:22:14 pm »
"No you do it Mummy!"
I've read something on just this, a LO only wanting Mummy to play with the toys etc whilst LO watches...could be Tracy's Toddler book but then it could also be BWSAYP...or was it in Playful Parenting.
I'm rubbish - not only can I not remember which book it was I also can't remember what was suggested!

I also want to try to teach him letters and numbers
When I was little I loved the interactive aspect of learning letters and numbers through physical movement rather than 'just' books.  So I've started DS off with a variety of letters and numbers that can be played with; wooden blocks with letters on that can be stacked, lined up, moved around.  Scrabble letters (not to play the game, just to make words with), magnetic letters and numbers on the fridge or on a smaller portable magnetic board (so you can sit on the floor or sofa together), foam letters and numbers in the bath (they float and also stick to the bath side or tiles), flash card letters (size of a pack of playing cards)...all that kind of stuff.
The number of games or activities is almost countless.  For example limiting the letters offered to make a group of similar words AT, CAT, HAT, PAT, BAT and matching them with pictures that you might already have in a book or as part of another toy.  Or games where LO goes across the room to fetch a letter, put it in a small bag, and carry it back to mummy.
Whilst I let DS have a whole box full of the wooden blocks with letters on (he stacks them) I limit the foam letters in the bath to just those that make his name plus numbers 1 to 5 (good for singing '5 little ducks went swimming one day').

Asda have a set of small wooden blocks with the alphabet on and pictures too, I love them, also really cheap.  You can make up games like picking 3 blocks out of a bag at random then making up a story that includes the items that are pictured, whilst also looking at the letter shapes.  It's not totally focused on 'learning' letters but starts to seep in through using the skill (verbal) that are already in place.

hth with maybe some ideas there.


Offline <Catherine>

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Re: Activities for me and my boy?
« Reply #3 on: January 24, 2012, 07:52:54 am »
Thanks :)

I've read something on just this, a LO only wanting Mummy to play with the toys etc whilst LO watches
I'll look that up. He is exactly the same with toys. He will play happily on his own with his toys (he is very good at independant play) but if I try and play with him he just wants me to do it all. Whilst him playing independantly is great I do feel that he needs more interaction from me, yk?

When we chose a bedtime story the night before last, I found a book that I hadn't realised he had - it's not really a story, but each page has a different number on it (from 1-10) and animals doing certain things. It's very simple and DS loves it. So we're reading that at the moment and I really think that will help him because he's really interested in it.

He does have the foam letters for the bath, and he has been able to pick out a 'M for Mummy' for a very long time. But that is it. I think that because he's had them from such a young age they were just things that go in the bath, rather than letters that mean anything, dyswim? I will try and make more of them though.

I like the idea of putting letters in a bag to bring back to Mummy though, I think he'll like that. Will try some games like that.
Catherine x








Offline Mashi

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Re: Activities for me and my boy?
« Reply #4 on: January 24, 2012, 08:55:42 am »
Not sure if this should be here, or in G&D? Feel free to move  :D

I'm struggling to find things to do WITH my son at home  :-\

If I get an activity out - be it baking, colouring, playdoh, etc - he either loses interest and walks off within minutes, or he just wants me to do it whilst he watches. He'll tell me which bits to colour, give me the pencils he wants me to use, etc, but if I try to get him to do it he just gets annoyed and shouts "No you do it Mummy!".

This to me sounds like it is just a case of it just being something that he doesn't really want to do. If it is not holding his interest then it might be that he just does not enjoy it.   All three of those things would get the same reaction from my DS - baking is only fun if he can make a huge mess and crack a dozen eggs into the bowl, and colouring and playdoh are really only fun for like 60 seconds for him...he just is not interested in them.  Is it different when he chooses an activity to do?  I can suggest we get out blocks or playmobil and DS will be excited but loses interest VERY quickly because it was ma choice not his - but when he tells me that he wants to play "bin man" he will play for an hour, and it is me who loses interest.  (Bin man is a totally made-up game that took a life of its own one day and now gets played weekly here!)

What is he into, what interests him?

Quote (selected)
If he's doing any of these things with other children involved he loves it and will get totally into it and sit there for ages. Not sure if it's me, or the lack of other children  :-\

Again we do have this here - though DS does not really play with other children around us as we don't have any family friends/relatives but we catch glimpses of it at kindergarten. In our case I think a lot of it is because he gets the vibe that with colouring, I am doing it better than him, with playdoh my model car looks more like car than his, and so on - I'm better at it than he is and so he would rather not do it.  I find that if I change up the playdoh game so that I am not involved in the doh but rather I am a customer in his cafe eating his playdoh eggs on toast then he is happy -- cause then I am not playing playdoh but instead i am playing cafe, really.

For activities at home together, we just play. Play play play. Whatever his toys are, we play. It does not have to be something big that I have thought out - just getting his cars out and pushing them around the floor together (which I really do not enjoy!), playing with his marbles, building train sets...I let him choose and then we just play it together.  Sometimes it isn't really that much fun for me as I just don't enjoy boys' toys!  We do a lot of playing on the bed, too - rough play and wrestling type of stuff which he loves!


Offline koe2moe

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Re: Activities for me and my boy?
« Reply #5 on: January 24, 2012, 09:16:52 am »
agree w/ mashi.  what does he like?  what interests him? 

maybe we have to accept that he only wants that activity for that amount of time and he wants the next thing.  Have you tried just doing what he is playing and say, can mommy play this with you?

With puzzles, DS used to be really rubbish at it and had absolutely no interests.  We recently tried very difficult ones as they were xmas presents.  It wasnt even easy for adults. 
I would choose the right piece for him but explain the analysis what does this part look like?  that helps him orientate the piece into the right position and he puts it in himself.   We were able to do most of the puzzle together.  He also gets better at deciding what goes where this way.

Also another thing i play with him is i sit on the couch with blanket over me (i was very ill) and poured packing beads on the blanket and he would drive the diggers along my legs and dig up the "sand".  I would ask him to drive it to the right or left, or up or down and he would also tell me to sometime put my arms down as the bridge and it has to open for the truck to pass!  It is his interest with the diggers and trucks and i help create an environment to stimulate his imagination and i give some instructions, more for practising and checking his comprehension of chinese and we have a nice time together even when i was half dead lol

we also love to cuddle up on the couch with a donald duck comic strip while having his fruit after dinner.  It is really lovely.  We used to read stories but now he wants to read into each box in the comic to see what everyone was doing.  It is more flipping then reading. 

I am not sure what Ollie likes.  We do lego, too but DS wants to build in a certain way or he asks me to help do things that he doesnt want to do!  lol  and the best part... we tidy up the toys together.. 



Offline <Catherine>

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Re: Activities for me and my boy?
« Reply #6 on: January 24, 2012, 11:27:29 am »
You could well be right about him not wanting to do the things he's losing interest in - but he's so excited to do them! Having said that, I suppose I do say "Would you like to do some baking?" rather than asking him what he wants to do and him suggesting baking.

I guess what worries me with simple things like pushing cars around the living room (we do that a LOT here too - DS's most favourite thing, apart from lining them up  ::) ) and lego etc, is that should I not being doing more 'educational' things with him? How much learning should he be doing at home? Or am I completely overthinking this?!  :-\

And perhaps it's more down to me being selfish - maybe *I* want something else to do other than lego with him, because all he wants to do is build massive towers and then has a tantrum when they fall over  :P
Catherine x








Offline koe2moe

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Re: Activities for me and my boy?
« Reply #7 on: January 24, 2012, 12:02:17 pm »
hmm the way i see education now, as opposed to my own upbringing being asian heavily influenced by the british system, so uniform, homework, dictation, writing, etc, kids learn through experience.

like when he builds a tower, perhaps you can show him ways to build a stronger structure by interlocking the blocks but that is if that interests you also.  when i read him donald duck i also add some moral values in it, there are the baddies and the police but sometimes the police was too proud of himself and mickey mouse was the real hero LOL...

or even just that hey donald duck wanted to help but made a mess in the end, he should be more careful, right?

i  also try to teach him numbers and letters but there is much less pressure here as they learn from 5yo and to write from 7yo here.  He knew O for oma for over a year now and our initials but that has been done at daycare also.  i saw that they were hanging up initials of the kids there and so i started doing things like that at home.  We went to visit his grandma, oma, that night we were reading, i pointed out the O for oma, and he hasnt missed it since so sometimes in the car, driving past a supermarket, he said Oma.  Took me a while to know that he saw an "O" but it could have been a zero. 

Perhaps have a chat with the daycare people and see what acitivities they do with them, in terms of crafts, cooking, etc.  Perhaps you get a better idea of how to get him involved and what kind of stuff stimulates him. 

Would he be more interested in "real" stuff like folding up laundry, cleaning as opposed to toys playing?!  If you were doing housework, and you can teach about names of clothings starting with S, sock, shirt, skirt? 

would this work for him?



Offline <Catherine>

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Re: Activities for me and my boy?
« Reply #8 on: January 24, 2012, 12:09:13 pm »
Would he be more interested in "real" stuff like folding up laundry, cleaning as opposed to toys playing?!  If you were doing housework, and you can teach about names of clothings starting with S, sock, shirt, skirt?
Yes. He actually loves to help me - sweeping particularly :) He helps get washing in and out of the machine, and helps with hanging etc, he helps with dusting, and with unloading the dishwasher, etc. I do get him to help with most things, and he does enjoy it. I think I've installed my OCD with cleaning into him - he walked into the bathroom yesterday and said "ah, all nice and tidy" :) That's my boy! ;)
Catherine x








Offline koe2moe

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Re: Activities for me and my boy?
« Reply #9 on: January 24, 2012, 12:14:06 pm »
you know what?  i wish my mom had that in her to instill into me!!!!  then i wouldnt br struggling to try and organise our new home!!!  Still stuff everywhere without a good organisation!  That is one life skill that is invaluable and no one teaches at school!

Decide what goal you want to achieve, be it numeracy or letters, pin up a letter on the washing machine and do one letter a day.  It will build up in no time!  ;)



Offline *Becky*

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Re: Activities for me and my boy?
« Reply #10 on: January 24, 2012, 12:46:15 pm »
Decide what goal you want to achieve, be it numeracy or letters, pin up a letter on the washing machine and do one letter a day.  It will build up in no time!
that is a great idea Koe. H loves numbers and is always counting and lining things up to count but less interested in letters . I think I will choose one like you say and it will then prompt me to think up some fun questions/games around that letter.




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Offline koe2moe

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Re: Activities for me and my boy?
« Reply #11 on: January 24, 2012, 12:57:37 pm »
that is cool, let us know how it works out for you. 

i just remember something but I am not sure what it means.  At daycare, they do counting all the time and with dh, he does numbers also, just counting from 1-10 but DS is still all over the place with 1-10.  But he has been counting 1-10 for many months in
chinese and getting to 15 these days.  But the concept of numbers isnt really there yet.  He see two things and say two for more than 6 months but more than that, he would say 5 which means a lot! LOL  He starts to understand three as he is three. 

when I ask him to get a fork for mommy, one for daddy, and one for him, he knows to get three! 



Offline Mashi

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Re: Activities for me and my boy?
« Reply #12 on: January 24, 2012, 13:07:08 pm »
should I not being doing more 'educational' things with him? How much learning should he be doing at home? Or am I completely overthinking this?!  :-\

This is something I have quite strong opinions on! What do you mean by "educational" - do you mean "academic"? Do you not see that there is educational value in things that are not academic education? Taking him outside to walk in the woods and spotting different flowers as you walk along is educational.  Making a beep beep beep noise when you are playing push the rubbish truck backwards is educational.  Playing shop and restaurant and cafe with a bunch of play food is educational.  Saying sorry to him when you accidentally knock his lego tower over is educational.   None of those things are necessarily academic, but home is not a school and 3 year olds don't belong in academics. 
There seems to be a push in society that if kids are going to start going to a school environment at 4 years old and they will teach numbers and letters that for some reason that means any parents who have not taught their child numbers and letters in advance of that are not doing enough educational things with their children.  I think it's nonsense personally!  ;) Children will learn letters and numbers in school, and at age 4 it is already far too early for them to be in an academic environment so why push for learning this stuff earlier? It is more important at this age to PLAY and learn naturally about life and society and relationships than it is to learn anything academic.    Everything they are learning about life at this age is a foundation to being successful in their academics and school life that they will have for the next 18 years, they need to enjoy it and have fun!  Gross and fine motor skills are developed through play - you can't pick up a pencil to write letters until you have the finger skills, which are really built up in activities like stringing beads, pushing cars, etc ... there is a lot of education in play.

I think this is a great article
http://www.magicalchildhood.com/articles/4yo.htm

One of my DS's favourite games to play is car dealership ::) ::)  He sets up his cars all nicely in a display and I have to come in and he tries to sell me one.  He much prefers if I come in when he is sleeping and snoring and I have to work hard at waking him up and I threaten to call his supervisor ::)  Anyway, we switch it up and I am the car dealer. One day when he came into my shop I did my scripted lines (he doesn't like you to sway too much, he is a bossy boots!) "Hi welcome to Car City, would you like to buy a car today....?" and then I showed him I had sports cars here, family cars here, vans here, and emergency vehicles over here.  He said "huh.  Hmmmm. I see....." and I could see him pondering.  We switched it up and when I came back as the customer, he had his dealership set up and showed me he had red cars, yellow cars, green cars, and blue cars -- so the idea of sorting and putting "like" things together just came to him through play without me teaching him anything at all.  That is totally educational but there was no attempt to teach him that specifically, we were just playing a game ... and I think that there are a LOT of things such as that which just come from play without thinking about it iyswim.

Offline koe2moe

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Re: Activities for me and my boy?
« Reply #13 on: January 24, 2012, 13:21:26 pm »
lol now i want to buy a car from MM!  lol

DS also beeps at each lego before i could put it on the tower.. i guess he was doing the cashier LOL i never asked..



Offline <Catherine>

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Re: Activities for me and my boy?
« Reply #14 on: January 24, 2012, 14:11:42 pm »
This is something I have quite strong opinions on!
I think, Mashi, you have quite strong opinions on quite a lot of things  :P  And I must admit I do tend to agree with you on *most* things! :)

What do you mean by "educational" - do you mean "academic"?
Ok. So you've hit the nail on the head. I *do* mean 'academic' really, and it's only reading your 'strong opinions' above that I can see that what I do with him in everday life is 'educational'. I can also see that 'academic' is not necessarily important yet. I guess I just hadn't thought about it in the way that you have  :-\

(Having thought about what I'm about to say, I can now see how sily it sounds, and how it just proves that every word you have written above is very true....)
I think my problem is that the few people with children that I am 'close' to IRL are quite 'teacher' like in their approach to raising their children, this is not me (even though, ironically, I wanted to be a primary school teacher up until the age of about 13!  ::) ). And I think I'm feeling as though I should be doing more, because it appears that they are. And also the fact that DS will play so well on his own I feel I am leaving him to his own devices too much. DS knows quite a bit for his age (IMO anyway) - he knows all his colours, can count 1-20, his speech is fantastic, etc, etc - and very little of this has been 'taught' by me. He picks things up brilliantly. It's just about all been learnt through everyday life and play. Exactly what you are saying.....I can see that now  ::)  :-[
Catherine x








Offline Mashi

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Re: Activities for me and my boy?
« Reply #15 on: January 24, 2012, 14:24:20 pm »
This is something I have quite strong opinions on!
I think, Mashi, you have quite strong opinions on quite a lot of things  :P  And I must admit I do tend to agree with you on *most* things! :)
;D  Believe it or not, I don't! I'm quite wishy-washy on most things tbh and IRL people tend to be annoyed by my lack of strong opinions!  :o  I just manage to write with gusto  :P :P


[/quote]
What do you mean by "educational" - do you mean "academic"?
Ok. So you've hit the nail on the head. I *do* mean 'academic' really, and it's only reading your 'strong opinions' above that I can see that what I do with him in everday life is 'educational'. I can also see that 'academic' is not necessarily important yet. I guess I just hadn't thought about it in the way that you have  :-\

(Having thought about what I'm about to say, I can now see how sily it sounds, and how it just proves that every word you have written above is very true....)
I think my problem is that the few people with children that I am 'close' to IRL are quite 'teacher' like in their approach to raising their children, this is not me (even though, ironically, I wanted to be a primary school teacher up until the age of about 13!  ::) ). And I think I'm feeling as though I should be doing more, because it appears that they are. And also the fact that DS will play so well on his own I feel I am leaving him to his own devices too much. DS knows quite a bit for his age (IMO anyway) - he knows all his colours, can count 1-20, his speech is fantastic, etc, etc - and very little of this has been 'taught' by me. He picks things up brilliantly. It's just about all been learnt through everyday life and play. Exactly what you are saying.....I can see that now  ::)  :-[
[/quote][/quote]

I do end up leaving my DS to his own devices a lot of the time, too often probably, and it is because he does play quite well on his own. That, and because when we do play with him we properly PLAY and it is a LOT of work! I need time to recover, LOL!! 

I just think there is so much being learned all of the time and that he will benefit so much from these things, but what benefit at 3 years old does he have in his life because he can recognize and name the letter P? Yes, it is fun for them to see things and recognize them and my DS is very proud and happy when he sees letters in his name and that's great, I love that he can do it and he loves that he can do it. But he learned it from playing and not from being taught iyswim, and it certainly has not enhanced his quality of life any.  But, a good hour outside kicking a football and running around chasing birds has totally enhanced his day and his life, and he is learning loads of things from this, too. (Though "you will never catch a bird" does not seem to be one of them!!!!)  He learned numbers from Mickey Mouse but also from playing hopscotch with me  - and I made no discussion or effort or point in talking about the numbers, just wrote them and we played. A few goes at that and he learned his numbers pretty quickly...but the point was that teaching numbers was not my objective, playing and jumping and having fun together was my objective, the numbers was a bonus.  So there was no stress on it.      He has the rest of his life to spend reading and writing and counting, and these are the only few years in his life I have with him to teach him the things that really matter to me and my DH, and those are the non-academic things in life.  Leave the rest for school   :)

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Re: Activities for me and my boy?
« Reply #16 on: January 24, 2012, 23:42:11 pm »
Reading along with interest.

I let him choose and then we just play it together
The idea of letting him choose what to play was also on my mind last night, but I'd already turned the computer off so didn't come back on to suggest it.  I'm reading 'Playful Parenting' at the moment.  I'm very playful anyway and don't care at all how mad I look having crawling 'races' with DS or singing to him in public if he is needs distraction whilst we are in a shop etc so in some ways this book is kind of telling me to do what I already do (get down on the floor and PLAY and get connected) but it has really widened my understanding of the importance of play and connection and the problems that can occur with disconnection - also how to help kids through their frustrations, fears and hurts through play.  I won't go into the entire book, but do suggest it as a good, interesting and useful read, but one big thing is to play what the child wants.  In the time allocated as 'play time' (as opposed to helping with laundry etc which can also be fun) the book stresses the importance of allowing the child to choose and how important it is to go into all of those games with real gusto, particularly the ones you hate.  With the gusto can come a bit of a change up in the game where you both end up getting enjoyment even though you didn't expect to.
Independent play is really important but it's also really important to connect and that's when the active play time comes in, which as Mashi say, is exhausting...and not the necessarily thing you want to play.
Catherine, it sounds to me like you are feeling the need for connection (or more connection), in wanting some ideas of what to do TOGETHER.  I reckon that's a good gut feeling to act upon.

I like the hop scotch idea, that numbers just go in because the game is there.


Offline koe2moe

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Re: Activities for me and my boy?
« Reply #17 on: January 25, 2012, 10:04:18 am »
i do see it from another perspective.  DS wants to know what is written on the menu.  He wants to be able to read and when he saw a story starting with his initial, He laughed put loud so whole heartedly.  The key is what he wants.  If he wants or if he has the interests to know, like laundry, why wait for others to do with him?

i also have a personal goal for getting DS to understand chinese, that is for me and for him.  i have to get him to be interested, otherwise it will be very frustraing for me.



Offline *Becky*

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Re: Activities for me and my boy?
« Reply #18 on: January 26, 2012, 10:10:41 am »
DS wants to know what is written on the menu.  He wants to be able to read and when he saw a story starting with his initial, He laughed put loud so whole heartedly.  The key is what he wants.  If he wants or if he has the interests to know, like laundry, why wait for others to do with him?
yes I agree. I see it that if they are interested in letters and numbers then great and work with it!




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