Activities for me and my boy?

[Mashi]

This is something I have quite strong opinions on!

I think, Mashi, you have quite strong opinions on quite a lot of things    And I must admit I do tend to agree with you on *most* things!

  Believe it or not, I don't! I'm quite wishy-washy on most things tbh and IRL people tend to be annoyed by my lack of strong opinions!    I just manage to write with gusto 


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What do you mean by "educational" - do you mean "academic"?

Ok. So you've hit the nail on the head. I *do* mean 'academic' really, and it's only reading your 'strong opinions' above that I can see that what I do with him in everday life is 'educational'. I can also see that 'academic' is not necessarily important yet. I guess I just hadn't thought about it in the way that you have 

(Having thought about what I'm about to say, I can now see how sily it sounds, and how it just proves that every word you have written above is very true....)
I think my problem is that the few people with children that I am 'close' to IRL are quite 'teacher' like in their approach to raising their children, this is not me (even though, ironically, I wanted to be a primary school teacher up until the age of about 13!  ). And I think I'm feeling as though I should be doing more, because it appears that they are. And also the fact that DS will play so well on his own I feel I am leaving him to his own devices too much. DS knows quite a bit for his age (IMO anyway) - he knows all his colours, can count 1-20, his speech is fantastic, etc, etc - and very little of this has been 'taught' by me. He picks things up brilliantly. It's just about all been learnt through everyday life and play. Exactly what you are saying.....I can see that now   
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I do end up leaving my DS to his own devices a lot of the time, too often probably, and it is because he does play quite well on his own. That, and because when we do play with him we properly PLAY and it is a LOT of work! I need time to recover, LOL!! 

I just think there is so much being learned all of the time and that he will benefit so much from these things, but what benefit at 3 years old does he have in his life because he can recognize and name the letter P? Yes, it is fun for them to see things and recognize them and my DS is very proud and happy when he sees letters in his name and that's great, I love that he can do it and he loves that he can do it. But he learned it from playing and not from being taught iyswim, and it certainly has not enhanced his quality of life any.  But, a good hour outside kicking a football and running around chasing birds has totally enhanced his day and his life, and he is learning loads of things from this, too. (Though "you will never catch a bird" does not seem to be one of them!!!!)  He learned numbers from Mickey Mouse but also from playing hopscotch with me  - and I made no discussion or effort or point in talking about the numbers, just wrote them and we played. A few goes at that and he learned his numbers pretty quickly...but the point was that teaching numbers was not my objective, playing and jumping and having fun together was my objective, the numbers was a bonus.  So there was no stress on it.      He has the rest of his life to spend reading and writing and counting, and these are the only few years in his life I have with him to teach him the things that really matter to me and my DH, and those are the non-academic things in life.  Leave the rest for school   

[creations]

Reading along with interest.

I let him choose and then we just play it together

The idea of letting him choose what to play was also on my mind last night, but I'd already turned the computer off so didn't come back on to suggest it.  I'm reading 'Playful Parenting' at the moment.  I'm very playful anyway and don't care at all how mad I look having crawling 'races' with DS or singing to him in public if he is needs distraction whilst we are in a shop etc so in some ways this book is kind of telling me to do what I already do (get down on the floor and PLAY and get connected) but it has really widened my understanding of the importance of play and connection and the problems that can occur with disconnection - also how to help kids through their frustrations, fears and hurts through play.  I won't go into the entire book, but do suggest it as a good, interesting and useful read, but one big thing is to play what the child wants.  In the time allocated as 'play time' (as opposed to helping with laundry etc which can also be fun) the book stresses the importance of allowing the child to choose and how important it is to go into all of those games with real gusto, particularly the ones you hate.  With the gusto can come a bit of a change up in the game where you both end up getting enjoyment even though you didn't expect to.
Independent play is really important but it's also really important to connect and that's when the active play time comes in, which as Mashi say, is exhausting...and not the necessarily thing you want to play.
Catherine, it sounds to me like you are feeling the need for connection (or more connection), in wanting some ideas of what to do TOGETHER.  I reckon that's a good gut feeling to act upon.

I like the hop scotch idea, that numbers just go in because the game is there.

[koe2moe]

i do see it from another perspective.  DS wants to know what is written on the menu.  He wants to be able to read and when he saw a story starting with his initial, He laughed put loud so whole heartedly.  The key is what he wants.  If he wants or if he has the interests to know, like laundry, why wait for others to do with him?

i also have a personal goal for getting DS to understand chinese, that is for me and for him.  i have to get him to be interested, otherwise it will be very frustraing for me.

[*Becky*]

DS wants to know what is written on the menu.  He wants to be able to read and when he saw a story starting with his initial, He laughed put loud so whole heartedly.  The key is what he wants.  If he wants or if he has the interests to know, like laundry, why wait for others to do with him?

yes I agree. I see it that if they are interested in letters and numbers then great and work with it!